Fasten your seat belts, you're in for a bumpy ride tonight!
The rumor around the town the past few days is that Oscar producers have been trying to keep the identities of celebrity presenters and stage performers under wraps so that their glitzy walk-ons will be a surprise to viewers when they tune in on Sunday night.
But, this is Tinsel Town - after all - and the walls have Obama-sized ears!
In addition to hosting the little Gold man's big bash this year, hunky stud Hugh Jackman is allegedly slated to trip-the-light-fantastic under the flood lights with pop chanteuse Beyonce!
And, with the specific aim of rustling up nubile young blood in a bold-faced effort to boost ratings among the teeny-bopper set this year, the producers have hired on Zak Efron and Amanda Garrett (High School Musical) to showcase a catchy ditty or two at the 81st Annual Awards Show.
An insider whispered in my ear there will be close-up shots of the heart-throb's sensual eyebrows.
They're not waxed, 'ya know!
Mamma Mia stars will warble an upbeat tune or two, too.
Yup, quite a few in-the-closet dancing Queens in the audience in at the Kodak, will be tapping a foot or two when the musical hits ratchet up the night's festivities.
Who knows, maybe Pierce Bronson will toss in the Bond tuxedo image and squeeze into spandex pants and silk shirt, and twirl a tad with Meryl Streep in the wings.
One thing is for sure, though.
A well-trained actor or two will get all tongue-tied on stage come acceptance-speech time (and summarily make a fool of his-self) and jokes that writers half-expected to gag viewers will undoubtedly fall flat as Jamie Curtis' chest.
But, if die-hard Academy Awards fans are lucky - there may be a wardrobe malfunction or two - to keep the gossip-mills generating hot air balloons around the blogosphere for months on end.
Even so, at the end of the no-tinsel-unturned 3 1/2 hour show, Oscar devotees will be switching off their flat wide-screen high-definition sets, and wondering aloud.
Is that all there is?
'Til next year, anyhoo!
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