Josh Groban...fan club accused of hanky-panky. Housewifes' panties wet for crooner, say some!

Housewives want a piece of him...

Over the past couple of days, I ventured into the kookie world of Josh Groban fans, after I penned a post a handful of his adoring followers took exception to.

The snippet on the popular songbird was written in response to a swipe that a local Los Angeles Times journalist took at Groban in the "overrated" section of the weekend paper.


While I wouldn't label Groban's performance on the Emmy Awards "cheesy" - per se (as the writer was inclined to characterize it) - I felt the occcasion an appropriate one to note for the record that I found the singer's voice too "trained" (and hence) somewhat limited in appeal.


When I hit the publish button - I half-expected an angry piece of hate mail or two to fly my way - (I'm a big bruiser and I wasn't born yesterday 'ya know?) but I wasn't prepared for the can of worms about to be unleashed.

Juvenile, or what?

Within minutes, fans were posting comments based on the wildest assumptions.



For instance, one dude lamented that I knew nothing about Groban.

On the contrary, I've watched his career evolve since day one.



In fact - I was sitting ringside on the auspicious occasion when Josh first trotted nervously out under the big top - clinging to a superstar's apron strings.

Sure looked like a Mamma's boy, to me!

And, how could I ever have missed his father's glowing tributes on Oprah?

"One day, he'll just be known as the saviour - um - Josh."

Once his musical odyssey was launched - the crooner with the snoz and the fay way - proceeded to tackle all the old standards in a bold-faced effort to wow the crowds.

Safe bet, to be sure.

Why take risks?

Mediocrity is the opiate of the masses, after all.

Since I am a reviewer, I was inclined to mention in the post that Josh has a distinctive timber to his voice (which greatly appeals) and a richness to his notes (that tend to rev up romantic notions).

But, in the final analysis, I noted his voice was "too trained".

To some, it grates on the nerves.

Another fan argued that I didn't know what I was talking about in respect to the sound (no pun intended) argument I put forth.

On the contrary, I studied music.

Also, I was born into a family of musicians. My father, for instance, was a violinist. And, my Aunt was also a well-known Opera singer in her day (who also taught piano).

Notwithstanding, I am also a singer!

Not only am I a better vocalist than Josh - but my voice is more distinctive - too.

At this juncture, things got a little nasty.

Granted there were a few sane comments from "grobanites" - siding with me in many respects - which were duly published, of course.

Flattery will get you everywhere at my blog, after all!
.
In fact, I may have struck up a new friendship or two with a handful of disgruntled "grobanites".

But, we'll probably follow an old credo.

We won't discuss religion, or art, or politics - or Josh Groban!

One fan noted that if I was looking to "start something" I managed to do it.

"There are a whole bunch of nurturing hens around Josh," she warned me.

Gee, I was led to believe through the gossip mill, it was a gaggle of Queens!

My new poison pen pal proceeded to quip - that an allegation I made about Josh being a "whiner" - was real "low".

Oh, yeah?

Saying someone is a whiner is low?

Dear, you don't know the meaning of "low".

But, I'll hand it to you on a silver platter, if you please!

In closing, the wacky fan proceeded to make a veiled threat.

I'd better watch my back, apparently!

Well, I don't respond well to threats and intimidation tactics.

I won't be silenced by a brood of broad hens with a flair for the dramatic, either!

As I started to wrap up for the day, surprise comments arrived at the blog site, like manna from Heaven!


Ah, disgruntled "Grobies" were ready to spill the beans.

Here's what they raged:

September 30 2008 GoodByeGrobies

"You can pay to be his friend at the Friends of Josh Groban fan site then try being a newbie with a difference of opinion and the old-timers will rip you to pieces. It’s like being a dog ran off with it’s tail between it’s legs. They don’t take kindly to newbies. Don’t mess with the Grobanites…….I don’t anymore. I learned my lesson. I let my membership run out and will not renew. Josh will probably loose a lot of members this way."

At this point, the floodgates started to open.

"Journey" was quick on the uptake and ready to play Brutus.

September 30 2008 Journey

"Although I enjoy Josh’s voice immensely, I also realize he has a slightly goofy side to him. Yes, he was classically trained and I think if he had his own way he’d attempt more rock music, but his voice just isn’t that type of voice.

If you want to visit some off the wall fans, be a guest at the Josh Groban Corner Pub …. the woman who runs it, is as looney as they come in my opinion when it comes to Josh.

If she feels you have disrespected him, you will be on her sh*t list forever. If she ever read this blog, it will find a way to being a thread on her forum and you will be ripped to pieces."

But, here is my precious fave.

September 30 2008 MonkeyCat

You’re right on in your analysis of Groban’s fans. They are mostly middle-aged, bored, fat-ass housewives with nothing better to do than get their panties wet over a 27 y/o boy.

There’s even a cyber-fan “war” taking place with the aforementioned groupies ganging up on another fan who dares to be different. And Groban encourages it."

As Al Pacino would say, Who-ah!

I find it ironic that the Diva has this Nazi following.

Isn't Josh a nice little Jewish Boy, after all?

Well, to find out, I googled - um - did a search on him.

Boy, God must be smiling on me today.

I stumbled across this precious dialogue at the Yahoo Answers site.

Is Josh Groban Jewish?

Ignore the fact that he sings about Jesus and stuff. Neil Diamond has an entire Christmas album and he's Jewish. I'm talking plain facts here.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

he totally looks jewish.
(2 years ago)

Asker's Rating: Asker's Comment

yeah, he looks jewish but i was hoping for facts. thanks everyone! :) i totally hope he's not !
(2 years ago)

sungirli

no, he's gay.
(2 years ago)

onlyhuma

GAY AND JEWISH
(2 years ago)

LizzieBe

Uh.... I dont think he's GAY... but he could be jewish... who really cares anyway?
(2 years ago)

Certainly not the hens with the wet panties, I gather!

Internet Service Providers...seek to regulate privacy policies! No Government interference, please!

Although Internet Service providers like - AT&T, Time Warner, and Verizon - are in accord with the idea of implementing industry-wide guidelines to protect privacy online, the corporate giants want to self-regulate without Government interference.

At a hearing before the Senate Commerce Committee - representatives from all of the "Big 3" - were on hand to testify.

Tom Tauke, an executive VP for Verizon, for instance, argued that service providers ought to be able to go forward with self-regulation in mind.

However, critics say that consumer privacy may be at risk.

For this reason, Charter Communications Inc. was forced to halt plans to track consumers on the Internet for a targeted ad campaign, after Connecticut's top Legal Eagle said the intrusive practice might be in violation of applicable law.

Senator Byron L. Dorgan (D-N.D.) stressed the need for protecting consumers' rights in respect to privacy issues.

The politician argued that, if necessary, legislation should be written to ensure there are no violations in the future.

Some are downright skeptical about the "Big 3's" assurances that self-regulation would not pose a threat and that they would take care to guard the privacy of its customers.

One non-profit organization - Public Knowledge - made no bones about it.

Without legislation to date - gaps in the law have allowed the privacy of some Internet users to fall between the cracks - reps for the consumer watch dog asserted.

Although the majors in the provider-service arena deny that their companies are delivering up ads based on web-browsing habits, skeptics in the industry are pointing accusing fingers.

I, for one, support legislation to ensure there are laws in place to support the privacy rights of the individual.

God forbid, the "Big 3" should unite, and become "One".

Imagine their evil Global reach then!

Americans...are they constipated? Unhealthy diet to blame...

Lately, wherever I go, it seems that a whole brigade of frustrated dudes are camping out in the stalls of men's rooms - at the local library, truck stops off-highway, and at McDonald's take-out - just about everywhere.

From within the tiny confines of the crapper stall - as I straddle the urinal to take a whiz - I hear a lot of serious grunting and groaning going on.

Almost everyone gets constipated at some time during his or her life.

Lately, there appears to be an epidemic underway, judging from what I have witnessed in recent days.

The normal length of time between bowel movements ranges widely from person to person.

According to experts in the field, some people have bowel movements three times a day; others, only one or two times a week. Going longer than three days without a bowel movement is too long, most agree.

After three days, the stool or feces become harder and more difficult to pass.

Uh-huh, I hear 'ya!

You're considered to be constipated if you strain during a bowel movement more than twenty-five percent of the time, if there are two or less bowel movements in a week, and you experience rock-hard stools more than twenty-five percent of the time, too.

What causes constipation?

The troubling condition is usually caused by a disorder of bowel function rather than a structural problem.

Common causes of constipation include: insufficient water intake, inadequate fiber in the diet, a disruption of regular diet or routine, a lot of travel, lack of activity or physical exercise and/or immobility, and stress.

Ah, so when you consider these factors, it is easy to fathom why men are hunkering down in the "johns" of fast-food joints all around America, straining to get a little movement in their frustrated lives.

For the most part, an on-the-go Joe is not getting enough fiber in his diet, tends to drink too much coffee (as opposed to fresh water), and is not getting enough exercise.

Listen up dudes, 'ya gotta get those pipes in working order, pronto!

After all, proper digestion requires balance, and proper ebb and flow within.

Healthy habits can alleviate the problem.

For example, schedule a bowel movement daily.

And, don’t ignore urges "to go" when the occasion arises while you're on the go.

In fact - the longer a person delays going to the bathroom after the urge first surfaces - the more water may be absorbed from the stool.

Since water helps make stool soft - and easier to pass - delaying the inevitable will only make matters worse!

So, to promote healthy bowel movements, select a specific time each day to trundle off to the bathroom to take one.


After eating is best because you have the opportunity to take advantage of the body’s own natural method of moving food through your system.

The vital bodily process is known as peristalsis.


Specialists note that the "movement" is like a wave moving through the muscles of the digestive system - which narrows first - then propels the food and fluid along without complications.

Because these wavelike movements occur twenty to thirty minutes after a meal - ultimatley - is capable of establishing some predictability and eventual body control over the function.

Notwithstanding, a change in diet may be important, too.

Fruits, grains, protein - that sort of thing - promote good health and encourage healthy bowel movements, by the way.

So, next time I head into the "john", I trust you'll have it down pat.

Bottom line?

Sh**, or get off the pot!


*Natural remedies like Flaxseed oil are preferable
*Shiatsu masseurs focus on pressure points to heal the ailment

Heath Ledger...ReliaStar Insurance scam. PR strategy, bad!

ING financial services robs children of their legacies...



Everyone was shocked by the untimely death of actor Heath Ledger, especially in view of the fact mysterious intrigues surrounded his life, in the final hours.

After much wrangling, it's my understanding that the family agreed Mr. Ledger's three-year old daughter (Matilda Rose) should inherit the estate.

However, on the heels of his death, ReliaStar Insurance is balking at the prospect of paying out a life insurance policy to the young heiress in the sum of $10 million.

Although a New York Coroner's report found that Ledger died from accidental causes, representatives of ReliaStar are seeking to void the policy on the grounds that under the terms and conditions, the carrier is entitled to contest payment until it determines whether the actor acted in bad faith and/or committed suicide.

Since the New York Coroner's office issued a finding that the death was due to accidental causes - Ledger's legal counsel are accusing the carrier of engaging in stalling and delaying tactics - in a deceitful effort to "hold on" to the money longer.

In a counter argument, ReliaStar has hinted that Ledger may have not been forthcoming with regard to information he provided on the application for the policy.

In view of the fact Ledger made payments on the policy for over two years before he passed away several months ago - and no questions were raised during that time frame when the actor was alive- it does beg at least one question.


Why is are they contesting the facts now?

In my opinion, ReliaStar is making a big public relations mistake.

To snatch away the inheritance of a three-year old will obviously not bode well for their company.


By the way, is "relia" short form for "reliable", I wonder?

If so, how ironic!

Once the glaring spotlight falls on this "unreliable" insurance carrier - a division of the Dutch Financial Services "biggie" ING - I expect American consumers will turn away from their policies in droves.

Yup, ReliaStar is on the verge of a public relations disaster.

I'm hedging my bets on the "kid".

How 'bout you?

UCLA...student survival guide. Too many soldiers, dude!

Gee, kids sure are a lot more pampered since I attended University!

For example, on the UCLA campus the other day, I stumbled upon an informative "survival guide" prepared for students that was put out for young freshmen to get oriented on campus (and off).

What a Greek moment!

When I was hitting the books, and toiling my way through the hallowed halls of learning, I was forced to fend for myself.

The nifty little pamphlet at UCLA - on the other hand - is rife with useful tips, a wealth of information on how to maneuver 'round campus, and insider hints on how to score in the all-pervading primal search for carnal knowledge.

Whoa Nellie!

For starters, there's an enlightening section on campus-speak, so a student can get up to speed quick on the lingo.

What's a floorcest?

No, it's not a designer rug from Martha Stuart's home shopping club.

Also known as "dormcest", the phrase - according to the authors - refers to the inevitable hook-up between two people living on the same door floor (or in the same dorm). There is a stern warning here.

Not a good idea ninety percent of the time, it is argued.

A hook-up pretty much speaks for itself.

It's a land line for students without a cell, right?

Wrong!

Usually the catchy phrase refers to anything from making out with a person to actually having - here comes an orgasm, oh boy! - sex.

Jungle Juice is a new one on me, fer sure.

Golly, it's an exotic cocktail, you delicately conjure up by mixing - a sliver of Jose Cuervo, pint of Smirnoff, half a cup of Jagermeister, and a drop of Crown Royal (left over from a party-night the week before) - into a chilled carafe of yummy neon-colored Kool Aid.

Ah, so that's what Heather Locklear got her grubby little hands on!

The insightful guide also offers up affordable decorating ideas for a dorm room.



Unless, your parents have moolah to burn for tony digs in Westwood proper, these helpful tips may prove to be right up your campus alley.




If you're a music lover, for instance, it's suggested you frame your favorite CD or record covers to show off your - um - style.

Show tunes won't cut it, dude!

Those by Josh Groban are in poor taste, too.


If you pine to be the King of chic, though, then double up your surfboard (off season) into an ultra-cool headboard wherever you crash down.

Kewl!

If you end up with wet dreams, don't blame moi.

To freshen up (!) the old homestead on a meager budget, facilitate (like those million-dollar words, do 'ya?) dead soldiers (empty beer cans) or aesthetically-pleasing wine bottles to house fresh-cut flowers in. Sounds so gay, eh?

When a couple-of-dozen or so end up dotting the messy landscape, time to sign up for AA meetings!

That's Alcoholics Anonymous, not American Airlines, kiddo.

A cheap dish rack in lightweight metal makes a high tech hopper for school papers, by the way.

In assessing a room-mate, take note of a handful of warnings, too.

If the potential roomie smells like a brewery, or pees in a corner in the middle night after mistaking your golf bag for a pisser, he's a wild 'n crazy frat boy.

Avoid the lad like the plague, or join in!

When a room-mate starts jotting down "to do" lists - or scrambles to tidy up your sloppy unkempt bed when you slip into the shower for a sec - it's a tip off he may be anal retentive and a control-freak.

Head for the hills. Or at least, Pepperdine College nearby.

Can't find your soiled underwear? Or, the natty little sweater grannie gave 'ya vanished into the funky air one foggy day?

Uh-huh, thy roomie is a chronic borrower.

And, if it's missing-in-action for a few days, say bye-bye.

He either left it in the cafeteria when he was stoned - or pulled the old switcheroo - with an Abercrombie & Fitch number he spied on the back of a chair in the library.

And - if he struts around the room half-naked, scratches his balls incessantly, and takes a shower with the bathroom door open-wide - he's either an exhibitionist or was just born in a barn.

Yahoo!

If you like what you see, okey dokey.

If not, call the campus police, to rustle him up and send him packing back to the range.

If there's a boring lecture eating away at your nerves, jump up and scream at the top of your lungs this little ditty.

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking it anymore."

By the by, don't call mommy to escort 'ya to your first campus party, either.

Instead, follow the golden rules.

When out-on-the-town - travel in packs (and likewise) - institute a buddy system so you won't get lost first night zonked out in upscale Westwood, gay West Hollywood, or (God forbid) the sticks of West Covina (yeah, you get the idea)

Don't sit on a couch at a college rave, either.

Who knows what puked there earlier on when the night was young and relatively maxi-pad carefree.

Pass on the punch; after all, you just know it's been laced with an elegant designer drug inclined to induce wild and rampant urges for sex and sure to loosen the inhibitions of the most closetted nypho at UCLA.

Try to establish a good rep (reputation).

A bl** job in the john on the first date is generally verboten (look it up in the dictionary, if necessary).

"Bl** Job", not verboten, fool!

You'll be popular though; and - quick as a wink - you'll like totally be known as "slut girl" on the Internet overnight.

Ah, but what a night!

Avoid beer pong if you're a guy and want to meet other guys.

In fact, always relieve yourself outside, if you want to ferret out a homo encounter.

Useful tip?

Pretend you're really blasted - and as sure as God made boners - some homo will fly out of the woodwork and seize the day.

Next day?

Act like it didn't happen, to save your reputation with best buds, on the UCLA football team.

Follow the same modus operandi at the next blow-out. once the word gets out that you're a closet Queen.

Wow!

DVDs they're recommending for purchase (or rental) weren't a surprise to me at all.

A start-up collection of must-haves consists of the Matrix, Fight Club, Shaun of the Dead, Dazed and Confused, Animal House (all twenty sequels), The Big Lebowski (heh, dude),Gossip Girl, and Goonies (???)

Well, there was bound to be one rotten apple in the bunch.

Finally, here are a few essential websites to cruise and carouse, if you're up to it at four in the wee hours of the doey-eyed dawn.

collegebordeom.com
pandora.com
juicycampus.com
lifehack.org
defamer.com

Oh, and don't forget to check out, PerezHilton.com

Think juicy, pink, and coming of age!

Governor Schwarzenegger...bans text messaging while driving! If you're coming to California...

Nab him, will 'ya!


Well, we're pretty much use to Governor Schwarzenegger's preaching and inclination to spoil all the fun, but if you're from out-of-state (or residing abroad) you are hereby duly informed that the Gov has terminated text messaging while cruising the mean streets of the sunshine State.

On the heels of the legislation signed into law this past week, a first offense will rack up a fine of twenty bucks!


For those who are totally addicted, and find it tough to go cold turkey, additional offenses will ding 'ya fifty bucks each infraction.

Governor Schwarzenegger's new motto for the measure should be:

"Reach out and slap someone"

In a press release, the Governator noted he was ecstatic about signing the bill.

"Banning electronic text messaging while driving will keep driver's hands on the wheel and their eyes on the road , making our roadways a safer place for all Californians."

In view of all the hanky-panky that goes on in my neighborhood in the wee hours of dawn, I doubt that very much.

Maybe they should have a ban on open flies during the hours of midnight and 6 a.m.

Sticky fingers - pose problems of all persuasions - after all!

Well, text messaging is a good start!

Los Angeles Public Library...Ian Rosen one of a few incompetent librarians taking up space!

I chuckled when I came across a notice in a New York newspaper inviting patrons of the local libraries to submit an essay touting a librarian worthy of recognition for their dedicated service to the public.

Well, maybe the staff at Libraries in the "Big Apple" still go that extra "distance" to lend a hand to patrons, but in Los Angeles it is quite rare.

Do you recall the stereo-typical image of the librarian that was perpetuated in the old musical - The Music Man - starring Robert Preston?

Marion was all sweetness and light!

Well, it appears to be all myth.

Step into a library in Los Angeles and you'll encounter a sour old puss - reluctant to get out of her comfy chair - or offer any assistance.

True, the shelf-stuffers are not all "old", necessarily.

A few young upstarts have weaseled their way into the libraries around the lower mainland - but they're too busy polishing their nails and gossiping with their co-workers as they sit on wide fleshy butts - to be of help to anyone.

Two libraries in particular - the one in Beverly Hills and another on Hope Street downtown - are particularly bad for that.

Although these lay-abouts haven't a Master's degree - or even a Bachelor-of-whatever - the dolts are under the false impression that because they're installed at a counter in a lowly periodical section they are full-fledged librarians.

Fat chance!

On occasion, the employee conduct is downright shocking, too.

The other day it was quite disturbing to encounter the blatant incompetence (and bad attitude) of one young male librarian - yes, Marion is often a fella now-a-days - by the name of Ian Rosen (West Los Angeles Library) whose lackadaisical manner was appalling.

At that branch there are a handful of computers that are available for patrons to use in an "Express" capacity.

Instead of signing on with a library card for an extended period of time - the quick-use PC's are available for fifteen minutes a shot - so that visitors to the area (tourists, shoppers, etc.) may check e-mail on-the-go or search info quickly to undertake tasks at hand.

When the fifteen minutes is over - the screen turns blood red - signaling the session has expired. At this juncture, patrons are required to upseat themselves and allow the next person in line to have their turn.

On this particular day - a teen about fourteen years of age - was playing a few games on the computer when his time elapsed.

Although there were patrons waiting - the self-indulgent overweight lad - waited 'til the red screen faded to blue; then, started up a new session with no regard for the other patrons who were patiently waiting for their turn.

Understandably, a patron complained to the librarian at the front desk.

Although the male staffer was a few feet from Mr. Rosen (who was sitting at a desk across the way) he chose to pick up the phone, dial a number, and rustle up Rosen on the other end that way.

He whispered behind a cupped hand that there was a complaint about a patron over-staying his designated time slot on the PC.

Mr. Rosen said "OK", hung up, and then glanced around the room with an odd-ball expression on his face.

He appeared to be uncertain about something and definitely in a quandary.

Frankly, it didn't appear that he was in full possession of his faculties, if you ask me.

After he got a couple of dirty looks from the complainant, Rosen proceeded to rise up from his desk in a disheveled fashion, then strolled behind the computer in question to take a gander at the young man's screen.

At this point, he did a sort-of spastic-like walk back to his desk.

Then, he plunked down in his seat, without accomplishing a thing!

When patrons cocked their heads at each other this way 'n that - and wondered amongst each other what his problem was - he struggled to his feet again.

Again, Rosen cruised by the computer - took a glimpse at the screen on the PC - and did nothing!

Finally, the offending young man got up - after about three successive fifteen-minute sessions were under his belt - and left.

Mr. Rosen demonstrated that day - that he was not only incompetent - but ineffectual in his job, too.

What is the purpose of a monitor at the library, after all?




Mr. Rosen, if you don't know, look the word up in a dictionary.

Golly, there are a heap-load of 'em around 'ya to take a boo at, after all!


Mr Rosen, should have strode over to the patron who was violating the rules - informed him of the complaint - then turfed him from the PC he was hogging to the detriment of other patrons who had a right to access, too.

Instead, the loser did nothing! Jack sh**.

Notwithstanding, in one fell swoop, Rosen managed to lead the young man down the wrong path.

By failing to take action - the scatter-brained staffer essentially impressed upon the ignorant lad - that it was "okay" to break the rules.

And, more importantly, he signalled by his irresponsible (thoughtless) actions, that there is "no" honor in respecting the rights of others.

Mr.Rosen should be let go.

If he can't carry out his duties - or doesn't want to for some inexplicable reason - the Library should ask that he turn in his library card, please.

After all - there are a number of qualified unemployed people in the work force - who would thank their lucky stars to have a secure job like his at the local library.

In these difficult financial times, the local library can ill afford to waste funds on some bump on a log with all the personality and gumption of a worm.

But, the stupidity of Librarians does not end there.

The other day at the UCLA campus, one female employee there demonstrated that she must have an IQ of about 2.

During the course of the day - a student moved a lightweight armchair from one section of the library over to the computer banks - since the small stools there offered up little comfort.

Yes - either the library staff know nothing about proper posture - or don't care if the students have proper seating facilities as they nurture their brains.

Anyhoo - when the individual finished up with their assignment on the PC - they up and went to parts unknown.

On the heels of their departure - another student innocently happened along - saw the empty armchair and slipped into it with nary a thought.

A librarian proceeded to saunter by and utter a comment that inferred the young man had absconded with the chair from the reference area - and by the tone of her voice - suggested that such an act was forbidden somehow.

When the student noted that the chair was there when he sat down - and summarily offered to release it to her - she responded defensively.

"No. Use it. But put it back when you're done."

Say what?

Why should the dude return a chair to an area he never took it from?

Actually, the librarian was wrong on both counts.

First, she should have checked her facts first - and not assumed off-the-bat that the innocent lad was the culprit who maneuvered the dastardly deed without permission (all this over a lousy chair?).

Secondly, the strident prickly woman was out-of-line to demand that the student return it to another section of the library where it was allegedly taken from.

Not wanting to cause trouble, though, the student proceeded to return the chair to the reference area to appease the librarian.

However, when he did so, three librarians proceeded to stare at the thoughtful student as if he were mad.

Sensing their confusion, he offered up an explanation.

"Someone moved this chair earlier. Since I was sitting in it, the Librarian asked me to return it to this area when I was done," he noted matter-of-fact.

Guess what?

The librarians were at a loss to fathom where to put the chair!

"Oh, put it over there," one agitated desk employee finally directed.

Talk about idiocy.

Imagine that!

These stupid individuals are actually running this fountain of knowledge!

The blind leading the blind, I guess.

Libraries and their gate-keepers used to be respected symbols of wisdom and knowledge.

Now, they're a sorry joke to contend with whenever you enter the premises.

Gives us a break, New York.
Transfer out some of the high caliber employees you intend to give plaudits to, and save our local libraries in Los Angeles from a terrible fate, here on the uncultured West Coast.

Heather Locklear...DUI bust reports conflict! Prescription drugs, booze, or...?

The morning paper was full of jolts and surprises.

Heather Locklear, one of Aaron Spelling's little darlings (Dynasty), was busted for an alleged problem manipulating her vehicle on the mean streets of Montecito (!).

A witness allegedly spied the svelte beauty stumble in and out of her vehicle - at which point - she revved up the engine and drove off in rhythmic zig-zags across a couple of lanes of traffic.

Concerned about her welfare, an eye-witness to the spectacle, put in an urgent call to the local police and proceeded to surreptitiously follow the wild-eyed actress.

When the police arrived on the scene, Locklear's car was parked haphazardly, and partially blocking State Route 192.

This is where it gets tricky.

In one news flash on the networks, it was reported that Ms. Locklear was suspected of driving under the influence of prescription drugs, and summarily arrested and charged for the offense.

In that alert, it was duly noted that the perky celebrity had been diagnosed with depression earlier this year, which led the door wide-open to speculation.

Trouble at home?

Meanwhile, a morning daily was inclined to report that the arrest was due to a DUI, that may have been alchohol-related.

Judging from the accounts - Law Enforcement sobriety tests on the scene and the testimony of the other driver - Ms. Locklear was obviously not under the influence of alcohol or prescription drugs alone.

A lethal mix of drugs - unknown at this juncture - would most certainly account for the whoozey nature of her lost bearings.


Once again - I have to seriously question why celebrities (who can obviously afford the luxuries of an uppercrust lifestyle) don't just leave the car parked when they're inebriated or suffering from an overdose of ingested drug "stuffs".

Surely, funds were not the issue?

Or - like many self-deluded celebs in the past - was Ms. Locklear foolishly under the mistaken impression that she was not sloppy drunk or incapable of maneuvering her vehicle by herself?

Of course, it is wholly possible someone slipped something into her drink.

Notwithstanding - that "good Samaritan" who called the cops raised an eyebrow.

A jealous person out to embarrass Ms. Locklear in public?

A good citizen would have approached the star - and offered her assistance - don't you think?

Sounds like a bizarre plot twist in one of Mr. Spelling's night-time pot-boilers, doesn't it?

Curious!


And, you thought maneuvering a surfboard was tricky...

West Hollywood Book Fair...stimulating, practical, and inspiring! Writers turn out in droves...

Well, you know what they say, early bird gets the worm!

Bright and early Sunday morning, I dragged myself out of bed and headed off for a quick snack before sauntering over to the Book Fair at West Hollywood park.

Ah, before the sun started to blaze down mid-day and swarms of book enthusiasts filtered in after noon, I managed to get a quick take on the event and got myself oriented right off-the-bat.

There were a lot of scintillating sights and sounds to drink in, as they say.

Quite a few children were enthralled with a captivating live-theatre presentation underway at the "Target Stage" as I headed off to explore willy-nilly.

There were a handful of attractive canopies sprinkled about the fairgrounds - and beneath 'em - clusters of keen writers expounding on their musings and fielding probing questions from rapt audiences.

As I sauntered by one spirited discussion, I overheard one intriguing snippet.

"How much effort do you take in developing surprises in your novels?"

At another tent, one novice sought advice on the heels of a creative crisis.

"My writing group just folded, what should I do?"

Quite a few up-and-coming novelists kicked up a book fuss on the sidelines - from whence they pitched their offerings - with great enthusiasm.

At one perch, I happened across a band of mystery writers anxious to reach out to curious dawdlers who strolled by sporadically, like moi!

"Are you a mystery fan?" one author quizzed.

"Yes. I love the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew," I kidded.

Michael Mallory proceeded to coral me for a moment and bend my ear a tad about a mystery series built around the character of Dr. Watson's second wife.

Allegedly - in the Sherlock Holmes classics - there was just a smidgen of background info on the mystery woman.

But, the character was tough to pin down.

There wasn't any first name to reference, for instance.

So, Mallory christened her Amelia.

"The character has sparked a lot of controversy with the fans of Sherlock Holmes," he gleefully noted.

The flap jacket features a still of the handsome woman - he refers to as a reluctant detective - in a period setting (which triggered some ideas of my own).

"Have you approached PBS about doing an adaptation of the material," I queried.

"Funny you should ask that," he laughed.

"WGBH in Boston has expressed an interest."

Darrell James - a pleasant-looking outgoing writer - stood next to Mallory's stall plugging his collection of "killer" short stories which have appeared in a handful of magazines over the past few years.

"Who wants to Kill Billy Tingle?" is an intriguing tale about a parlor-full of jilted women who plot the fate of a philandering lover.

Sounds delicious, doesn't it?

And - in another one of his pot-boilers - a humble priest decides murder can sometimes be a blessing in " A Miracle for Father Vega."

The collection - "Body Count" - nabbed James a prestigious book award for best new writer in the field, if I recall correctly.

But, don't quote me.

Find out for yourself!

Info: www.authordarrelljames.com

Quite a few authors of children's books were on hand, too.

"The Baffelgagging Blundernagging Brothers" is an illustrated fantasy series that combines the best elements of a picture book with that of a graphic novel.

"Part Dr. Seuss, JRR Tolkien, and Monty Python," authors Aaron Mason and Doug Warr joked from inside their holding area which brimmed full of eye-catching samples of the beautifully-illustrated children's books.

James Watson was the illustrious illustrator.











Just as I was about to stumble off for a snack, I happened across Skip. E. Lowe, foisting his autobiography on curious passers-by.

Mr. Lowe is a bit of folk hero in these parts with deep ties to the film and television industry.

Many of his celebrated friends have appeared on a cable talk show he hosts that has garnered a loyal fan base over the years.

Occasionally, I would spy him in the Silver Spoon cafe on Santa Monica Boulevard, chatting up legendary Shelley Winters before she passed to spirit last year.

As I meandered about the grounds, I stumbled upon a nostalgic little treasure.

Albeit, an updated one.

When I noticed a pair of 3-D glasses on a table top, I was inclined to make a flippant quip.


"Oh, those old 3-D glasses."

"No," the vendor responded, with a slight Chesire-cat smile on his face.

"They're the new 3-D glasses."

Bet your sweet bippy they are!

When I slipped a pair of the funky shades on my snoz - and took a gander at the 3-D greeting cards on display before me - I was taken aback at the delightful sight.

Images of the adorable cats and dogs literally sprung up off the face of the cards - and were not only amazingly 3-dimensional and life-like - but eerily holographic in many respects.

www.3dDigitalPhoto.com

There were some ecologically-minded activists in tow - and ever-ready to promote the "green philosophy" - too.

The "Tree People" - for instance - were handing out flyers with a bushel-full of information on their tree-planting projects.

Their worthwhile mission?

"To inspire the people of Los Angeles to take personal responsibility for the Urban forest - educating, training and supporting them as they plant and care for trees - and improve the neighbourhoods in which they live, learn, work and play."

"Tree people" invite like-minded citizens to volunteer, donate, and become a member.

Info: www.treepeople.org

In addition to the actual book promotions, there were a number of practical presentations sponsored by groups with close ties to the writing "industry" in the midst of its creative hub.

Writer's store, for instance, was handing out bookmarks with a great quote.

"A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit." (Richard Bach)

The outlet has a great selection of books, software, supplies, courses - well, every little thing - a writer needs to go from the cutting-edge concept to the final edit.

"The Woman's National Book Association" turned out also.

WNBA serves the Los Angeles area by bringing together women and men who are active in the creation and appreciation of books.

In essence, the dedicated book-lovers provide much-needed informative data on the writing, production, and distribution (and use) of books.

Basically, the organization acts as a friendly forum for those who celebrate books in the community.

Membership is open to all persons allied with authors, editors, publishers, editors designers, agents, publicists, librarians, booksellers, teachers, and - last but not least - avid readers of books.

WNBA turns out their official publication - "The Bookwoman" - three times a year.

The prestigious group also gives out two coveted awards.

The "WNBA" Award (in honor of Constance Lindsay Skinner) is given biennially to a distinguished "bookwoman" for extraordinary contribution to the "world of books" and "through books" to the world in which we live.

The Lucile Micheels Pannell Award (established in 1982) is bestowed annually - with the ultimate aim of recognizing authors and projects - directly involved in the publication of children's books.

KPFK - operated by the non-profit foundation, Pacifica - was reaching out from the stimulating environs of the book fair, too.

Pacifica was founded in in Berkeley (1949) by well-known pacifist Lewis Hill.

Pacifica promotes world peace.

Their flyer succinctly points out their mission.

"To encourage and provide outlets for the creative skills and energies of the community...which serve the cultural welfare of the community...that engage in any activity that contributes to a lasting understanding between nations and individuals of all nations races, creeds, and colors...which promote the study of political and economic problems and reveal the causes of religious, philosophical, and racial antagonism."

KPFK broadcasts music and features that reflect human diversity - in addition to - putting forth straight talk on alternative approaches to health and the environment without the intrusion (and undue influence of) ads or sponsors.

The KPFK FM signal is the largest in Southern California and reaches from the pretty shores of Santa Barbara to the Mexican/U.S. border.

What would a West Hollywood book event be without gay authors?

Stephen Soucy chatted up friends as he sought to flog a collection of eleven gay-themed short stories (set in West Hollywood) he "selected" and "edited" for the publication - curiously titled - "Nine Hundred and Sixty-Nine".

Patricia Nell Warren (The Front Runner) wrote the introduction to the book which I expect shall be well-received in the community.

"Rainbow Authors" was handing out spiffy materials to enlighten alternative-lifestyle writers about their book publishing outlet that is powered by wordclay.

In essence - wordclay provides gay, lesbian, and transgender authors - with a streamlined user-friendly a-la-carte option - for self-publishing literary works.

"Rainbow" services range from a FREE set-up and sales portal on the wordclay site - to the purchase of worldwide distribution packages - which afford book sales on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, and Borders.com, respectively.

In addition to straight-forward publishing options, "Rainbow" also contracts out for cover design, in addition to, marketing and editing services.

What good would books be without a place to stock, catalogue, and offer up copies for voracious book lovers in the community to peruse at their leisure?

In view of the obvious, fundraisers for the West Hollywood Public Library were on hand to shore up donations, and unveil the designs for the new facility which will break ground in April (2009).

One of the volunteers was excited to inform me that the library just received a $1 million-dollar contribution from a long-time West Hollywood resident who made his fortune in computers.

With three million in the kitty - the Library has yet to rustle up the balance - or the whopping sum of $7 million dollars.

Soon, fundraisers will be reaching out to corporate sponsors, so I expect they'll accomplish their altruistic goal.

If you've got some spare cash to toss their way - be an Angel - won't you?

Josh Groban...knee-jerk reactions from fans. Mentally unbalanced, few!

Groban fans need to awaken from deep stupor...


Just before Christmas last year - as fans were savoring the strains of Josh Groban's Holiday Season album (which pushed the CD to No. 1 on the charts) - the young vocalist whined in a Los Angeles Times interview that he was basically fed up with warbling carols and wanted to move on.

In a response post, I noted that Mr. Groban appeared to be a bit ungrateful - and, that in essence - he was throwing a damper on holiday spirits because he lacked the ability (or maturity) to follow through.

Of course - this caused a knee-jerk reactions from fans - who criticized me for tearing down their musical God.

Since the opinions of fools means nothing to me, I ignored their angst and moved on.

This past weekend - the Los Angeles times singled out Mr. Groban as being "overrated" - on the heels of a performance on the 60th Annual Emmy Awards show which the Times' writers labelled a bit "cheesy".

In response, I penned a post noting - that while Mr. Groban's voice tended to fall upon the "ears" blissfully at times - he sounded too "trained".

I proceeded to point out that if he sang from the heart, his vocalizing might improve.

Currently, he sings from the "head" - from a structured musical foundation - which limits his appeal.

Hence, the criticisms from various quarters in recent days.

No, I'm not the only one to find fault with Groban.

Shortly after I posted those comments yesterday afternoon, there was a big flurry of activity on the Internet!

Yes, Groban fans were in attack mode now.

I laughed!

I am a big fan of this director or that actor - but when other enthusiasts in those areas of interest in the arts disagree with me - I don't get all bent out of shape.

Different strokes for different folks, man!

Notwithstanding the obvious - it appears that a handful of Groban fans - are a little emotionally out-of-whack.

Their wild erratic responses indicate to me - anyway - that they lack the ability (and intelligence) to put forth any reasonable argument to back up any grounds for their nonsensical angry tirades.

Go figure.

Music tends to inspire the emotions.

In the case of Groban fans, they've gone looney tunes.

Grow up!

I don't know how to "wing it"...

Free Counseling Talkline...When you need to chat!

Occasionally, the challenges of day-to-day life drag you down, and there appears to be nowhere to turn to make sense of the unfolding drama.

If only there was someone to talk to, eh?


The National Counsel of Jewish Women provide a "counseling talkline" for individuals in the community who need to anonymously (and freely) open up about their problems with the ultimate aim of getting a handle on life.

Toll Free: 877-655-3807


The "Counsel" is comprised of young mothers, professors, attorneys, artists, activists, entrepreneurs, students, and even stock brokers.

In sum - the caring women are lifelong volunteers who describe themselves as "plain old do-gooders" - with strong ties in the community, local schools, and political/social institutions in search of like-minded souls.

Legend says that when God created the world he left it imperfect so that mankind could repair it, according to the spiritual principles of Tikkun Olam, which is practiced by the membership at the Council.

Tikkun Olam ("world repair") has come to connote social action and the pursuit of justice.

The phrase has origins in classical Rabbinic literature and in the Lurianic Kabbalah, a major strand of Jewish mysticism originating with the work of the 16th-century Kabbalist, Isaac Luria.

Toward this end, the Jewish "Angels" at the Council have fervently pursued their mission to:

*Free children from the yoke of illiteracy
*Help women find their voice and hold their hands through crises
*Clothe the needy
*Teach the young about the joys of discovery, learning, and reading
*Teach children to dream.
*Provide skills so that individuals may achieve
*Protect women`s right to choose
*Protect the individual rights of all.

To learn more about their organization and worthwhile programs:

Info: pr@ncjwla.org.