Hillary...guess who's coming to dinner?

Yesterday, I received a curious e-mail from Bill Clinton inviting me to dinner - provided I cough up five smackeroos - of course!

But, I found the body of the message perplexing.

In it, Bill quipped,

"During the campaign, Hillary and I didn't have the chance to eat together much because we were usually on the trail in different states. Now that the campaign's over, I'm glad we can share more meals again."

But - if we're to take a cue from the family portrait they sent along (captioned above) - it's apparent the Clintons are going through an identity crisis.

So, I'm zipping off a publicity still to remind 'em both, who they truly are!

Scarlet Bill and slick Hill ...

Enzo G. Castellari...celebrates birthday at screening of "Inglorious Bastards". Film actors Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson on hand to sign autographs!

The theatre was testosterone-charged!

Fans - mostly young males under thirty-five - whooped, hollered, and stomped their feet roundly - as the thrilling non-stop action in two of Enzo G. Castellari films (Inglorious Bastards and Battle Squadron) unfolded on the screen.

And, to the delight of die-hard film buffs - the respected Italian Film Director was on hand - to chat up the fans, answer queries, and sign a newly-released DVD packaged under the Severn Films label.

When I arrived at the New Beverly Cinema around 6:45, a line of excited filmgoers was already snaking down the block, in spite of the fact the doors would not swing open until 7:30. And, by the time the curtain fell, there was not a seat left in the house.

The popular director, who was celebrating his birthday, was wowed by the turn-out.

"It's so great to see so many young faces here."

Two of the lead actors - Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson - signed autographs and offered up some behind-the-scenes trivia.

Fred jokingly quipped,

"I came because I wanted you all to see how great I look."

The audience howled.

"There's nothing hanging down anywhere that shouldn't be hanging down," he joked.

Bo, a little more low key, noted that he was thrilled to attend because Mr. Castellari impacted his life both creatively and otherwise.

"He taught me Grace," Bo added humbly.

During the course of the night when I had the opportunity to get up-close and personal with a question or two, I was wowed by the man's vigor.

And, of course, his charismatic presence.

Last evening Mr. Castellari wore an elegant black suit (Italian?) with a well-coordinated dress shirt open at the collar.

One young man in the audience asked the legendary director if he could provide any advice for talent starting out in the field.

"Get experience," he commanded.

On the heels of this worthwhile advice, he noted that he came up through the ranks.

"I brought coffee to this person. Moved a chair over for that one."

Working as an assistant director was a good idea, he stressed.

"In Italy it is difficult now to produce a film. So much politics. Unless you are the son of an official. Then, yes. you'll get the chance. But no one will go to see the movie," he chuckled.

He hinted at the need for "confidence" in one's abilities and that there must be a base of knowledge to back up choices.

"When you say - 'place the camera here' - that is the big moment."

There was a bit of scuttlebutt about the differences between filmmaking in America and Italy.

Bo Svenson, for instance, noted that sound was never recorded on the set.

"There were so many distractions. While you're acting in a scene, someone is asking the person next to you if they want an espresso. Activity on the set continues during filming, unlike Hollywood."

I recall the ritual, vividly. Once the bell rings on the sound stage - and the assistant director calls out - "Quiet on the set" - no one utters a word.

Not in Italy!

Bo noted that looping later in the studio was not a process he hankered to.

"I prefer the spontaneity. The magic of the moment when the scene is being captured on film."

Distractions can be upsetting to some actors where the "eye line" is concerned.

Years ago - on the set of "Black Moon Rising" - I recall actor Tommy Lee Jones "going off" when an Executive standing on the sidelines twitched (!) and spoiled his concentration when he was emotionally involved in a scene.

Joan Collins is another who prefers no movement around the peripheral when she is working on-camera. On the set of a "Dynasty Reunion" - I was standing in the wings and caught her eye - but avoided her wrath somehow. When she noticed me a few feet away - instead of calling the A.D. to haul my butt out of there - she gave me an approving glance up-and-down and carried on.

Whew!

In Italy, it appears, you fly by the seat of your creative pants!

When the first feature flickered up on the silver screen I was inclined to let the storyline unfold. But, within minutes, I found myself sitting up and paying very close attention to Mr. Castellari's celluloid offering.

Clearly, a deft capable hand was at the helm!

From the get-go, Castellari's innate ability to draw the filmgoer into the action in a seamless - almost magical way - was evident.

There was a subtlety to the "set ups", too. In fact, each frame of celluloid was carefully crafted, a work of visual art.

Elsewhere on the canvas, Bo Svenson strode through the landscape, a virile manly presence capable of carrying the film.

Fred Williamson's machismo was also appealing - but, it was often his risk-taking in comic moments - that grabbed the audience and caused them to cheer from below the floodlights.

Hats off to the New Beverly Cinema for providing a high-energy night of satisfying entertainment!

Beijing...fudged on smog data! Faces scorn of world...

A week ago - I reported on Beijing's last-ditch efforts to curb smog in anticipation of the upcoming Olympics - by shutting-down factories, limiting the number of vehicles on the road, and so forth and so on.

But, the surge forward to clean up the environment has been to no avail, according to reports out of Beijing over the past forty-eight hours.

A huge cloud of smog still hangs thick and ominous over the horizon - obscuring the dazzling new superstructures built to impress the world - and posing a potential threat to Athletes due next week to participate in the games.

In fact, Olympic Officials have expressed their concerns that the quality of air is less than standard and may be a hazard to the health.

A Greenpeace Campaign Director - Lo Sze Ping - blamed the bad air on what he characterized as a - "develop first, clean up later" - approach by the Chinese Government which has obviously backfired.

Meanwhile, over the weekend, it was reported that smog around the Stadium is "unhealthful for sensitive groups".

The Chinese Government - which won the games on the provisio the environment would be "cleaned up" for the Olympic Festivities - has issued a statement in which they flatly allege they have reached their commitment to make sure the air quality is satisfactory for the Games.

Beijing Environmental protection official (Du Shaozhong) asserted to the press in recent days that seventy-percent of the days were able to boast acceptable levels of pollution or an improvement over last year's figures by twenty percent.

However, some are pointing fingers at the data, and accusing Chinese Officials of fudging the figures.

For instance, Steve Q. Andrews - a U.S. Environmental Consultant (who analyzed Beijing's figures) - alleges that two air monitoring stations in congested parts of the downtown sector were dropped from the Government's calculations for the air pollution index and substituted for monitors in the outskirts of the city.

Notwithstanding this kind of obvious skullduggery, those in-the-know claim that China does not even measure ground-level ozone levels which are a major component of smog, according to scientists in the field.

Andrews got a little ballsy and griped,

"They are manipulating the way they measure and what they measure so much that you cannot say the air quality is improving."

As athletes vow to wear masks during the games, China has been forced to look into novel ways to clear the air. For one, they are exploring the idea of artificially inducing rainstorms to dissipate the smog.

In the final analysis, it all appears to boil down to Karma, in my estimation.

Until China stops violating "Human Rights" and denying Monks "Freedom of Speech", and being "negligent" about the environment, their country will continue to face the wrath of God by virtue of floods, famine, earthquakes, poison air, and the like.

China must commence with a spiritual cleansing now - and pray, ultimately, for forgiveness - or face continued ongoing hardships to her detriment and well-being as a Nation.

What do they say?

Confession is good for the soul!

Big-Budget Disaster film...slated for fall release!

On the heels of the morning jitters here in Hollyweird and a raft of unrelenting wild fires that swept out-of-control in recent days throughout California, one of the major studios has hatched the idea of producing a big-budget disaster film based on two box-office hits - "Earthquake" and "Towering Inferno".

The project slated for release in the fall is tentatively titled:

"Shake & Bake"

Ah, gotcha!

Earthquake update...5.8 magnitude shaker centered near Chino Hills!

Devastating effects of Northridge Earthquake!

News reports are now filtering in.

The earthquake that struck at approximately 11:43 a.m. has been determined to be a preliminary magnitude of 5.8.

At my location in Beverly Hills, the shaking was quite violent.

When the tumbler hit, I was in the public library surrounded by a number of frightened patrons at the public facility.

I guess people were perplexed about what to do, at first.

When the shaking did not subside in a second or two (but grew in magnitude instead) and persisted in jolting the building violently - many let out little cries - then darted out the front door with the assistance of the capable library staff.

I struggled to pop off a news flash onto the Internet, but within seconds, my hands were shaking so much that I was having trouble typing on the keyboard.

According to online news reports, the quake shook buildings in downtown Los Angeles and was felt as far south as San Diego and as far east as Palm Desert.

"The quake was centered near Chino Hills," noted one spokesperson at the United States Geological Survey.

In spite of that, Los Angeles was seriously impacted.

Construction workers walked off a site concerned about safety and their well-being.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was inclined to activated the "Office of Emergency Services" when he learned about the width and breadth of it.

As of 12:45 p.m, there have not been any reports of injuries.

But, the Stanley Mosk Courthouse on Grand Avenue was evacuated as a precautionary measure. Security officials said they expect the building to reopen early this afternoon.

The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors were in a closed session at the time of the earthquake but did not suspend their meeting apparently. Hopefully, they were all under their desks out of harm's way.

The quake interrupted a City Council meeting. Undoubtedly, when the 27-story City Hall building began to sway, officials realized the urgency of taking cover.

Apparently Councilman Zine cried out, "Earthquake! Earthquake".

Another quipped, "It's still happening".

I know the feeling.

At the library, where I was returning books, people were paralyzed with fear - unable to take action - so shocked were they by the powerful momentum of it.

Believe it or not, Orange County also rocked 'n rolled.

"It's the first time in my life I actually got under my desk," said Anaheim Police Sgt. Ken Seymour, who has lived in Southern California his whole life.

"It's too early to tell if there's any major damage but all units are checking overpasses, bridges and tall buildings," he said.

The last occasion I felt so awestruck by the force of an Earthquake was when the Northridge Earthquake struck in 1994.

At about four o'clock in the morning, I suddenly felt a large jolt against the side of the building.

What was that?

Then, the bed shook violently, as dishes rattled and floorboards creaked.

Earthquake!

Normally, we're such a jaded lot here on the West Coast. After all, a new year barely flutters by without a little earth rattling now and then. Normally, Californians just roll over and slip back into dreamland.

But, on the Richter scale, this one was a staggering 6.8.

I was renting an apartment in a New-York-style walk up fashioned in old rugged bricks.

No retrofit, of course.

So, of course, when the tumbler "hit", it felt like an airplane had smashed into the five-storey building. Yes, there was a lot of creaking and groaning goin' on, as the foundations seemed to give way.

As I peered out the window, the lights around Los Angeles systematically shut down - in what amounted to a domino effect - as far as the eye could see.

I scrambled out of bed naked - yes I slumber in the nude - but had difficulty getting my bearings in the pitch black that had fallen all around. As I searched for my pants and my keys and a flashlight - it suddenly dawned on me why it is often hammered into residents to be earthquake prepared.

The next time (!) I'll have a handy little kit packed away in a safe place primed and ready-to-go - with candles, matches, flashlight, and emergency water - you name it!

When I managed to locate a few stitches of clothing, I stumbled to the door - but a sturdy oak bookcase and a number of leafy plants which had smashed to the floor - were blocking the exit. After a few minutes, I managed to squeeze my way through into the pitch black hallway.

Not a soul in site.

To make matters worse, the emergency doors had sprung shut and the elevators had automatically shut down.

I headed for the back stairwell barefoot and cried out in pain when sharp edges of broken plaster bit into my flesh.

Throughout the ordeal, I did not encounter anyone.

When I stepped out into the street - people were huddled in near hysteria on the sidewalk - scantily-clad in skimpy nighties, boxers, and the like. A couple of neighbors were frantically listening to the radio for an update on the quake.

The newscasters were reporting that Los Angeles was hit by a devastating quake centered in Northridge.

At this point, I realized my "lovebirds" had been left behind upstairs. Against protests from acquaintances, I dashed back into the crumbling building to rescue them from their perch in the kitchen.

Later that morning - we were notified by the Manager that the dwelling was red-tagged - unsafe to inhabit. All the tenants were forced to seek emergency shelter or turn to family and friends for assistance.

Northridge itself was shattered by the event.

Three-story buildings were turned into pancakes, freeway bridges were downed, and there were - of course - a number of deaths.


Down the street in Hollywood proper, as I sauntered into a local cafe for a coffee, ubiquitous armed guards stood at the entrance to retail stores to prevent further looting which had been earlier curbed.

I felt like I was in Beirut or some war-torn place like that.

In the final analysis, Earthquakes are part 'n parcel of life in California.

Is the "big one" on the way?

You bet your sweet bippy...

'Til then, we continue on our merry way.

Shaken, but not stirred!

Note

The Federal Emergency Agency recommends that if you're indoors when a quake hits, you should take cover under a sturdy piece of furniture, cover your face, and stay away from glass and walls. If outdoors when the earth shifts, move away from buildings and streetlights and stay in an open space until the shaking stops. And, don't forget about potential aftershocks!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Earthquake rattles Los Angeles...11:45 a.m.

Just moments ago, the Beverly Hills Library was shaking violently due to an earthquake that has struck Los Angeles at approximately 11:45 a.m.

Patrons in the facility have reacted in shock in view of the fact the shaker has probably been on a large scale - yet unreported - but undoubtedly the biggest one to hit the Southern California area in recent days.

As I struggle to get this story out, Staff are beginning to herd the public out the front door.

Oh, boy! Now I feel some rocking and aftershocks!

Maybe I should get under a table?

Gosh, my hands and wrists are shaking so visibly that I can hardly type.

More later.

Julian

Beijing Olympics...Toronto blames Otis for losing bid for Games!

A couple of years back, I was up in Toronto visiting relatives, when the Olympic Committee was in town considering "Hog Town" for the site of the 2008 Olympics.

The Natives were restless, alright. After all, the competition was tough. In spite of that, T.O. made it to the short list.

At a time when one of Canada's largest metropolitan areas was seeking status as a "World Class City", fate dealt Mayor Mel Lastman a nasty blow.

While touring a facility in the downtown core, all the Officials got trapped in an elevator for thirty to forty-five minutes before a rescue crew saved 'em from the sweltering heat.

Although the Committee assured his honor that the mishap would not affect their vote, many swear to this day that the incident cost Toronto "the good" their bid for a shot at the gold ring.

To the elevator company, it was just about life's ups and downs.

To the residents of Toronto, it was Otis' fault for failing to provide the much-needed lift beneath their wings.

With all the brouhaha brewing over a boycott of the Olympics in Beijing - and likewise, the ensuing headaches - in retrospect, maybe the Committee wishes they took the stairs instead.

Authority...quote!

Give some people a little bit of authority
And they become drunk with power...

Julian Ayrs
The Daily Planet
Collection of Poems

Nastassja Kinski...attends screening of "Exposed" as James Toback holds court with Tarantino playing foil!

Rudolph Nureyev was hungry for at least three butch men a day, Harvey Keitel sequestered himself in his trailer in a deliberate attempt to totally "inhabit" his role, while Jim Brown stumbled over dialogue (ironically) crafted with his idiosyncrasies in mind.

Those were a few of the juicy tidbits filmgoers were treated to at a double-bill of "Fingers" and "Exposed" last night at the New Beverly Cinema.

Writer/Director James Toback essentially held court over the festive occasion as a high-spirited (at times mischievous) Quentin Tarantino played foil.

Nastassja Kinski almost slipped into the Theatre unnoticed, until someone spied her.

The fans were ecstatic!

The bill-of-fair was an intriguing mix.

In the earlier film - "Fingers" - a younger Harvey Keitel surprised me with a few moments on film which didn't ring quite true. But later - in "Exposed" - turned in a characterization that underscored his greatness as an actor.

Likewise, James Toback's celluloid offerings were a bit ragged, on occasion.

In the opening scene of "Fingers", for instance, Toback holds a "wide shot" for an excessively long few minutes, then pans in. Not before the trained professional senses there has been a slip-up, of sorts.

In fact - a handful of shots signaled his lack of experience behind the camera - at that juncture of his cinematic career. In a couple of the scenes, the set-ups were quite studied, for instance. Camera pans were quite noticeable, too. On occasion - I was distracted by the movement of the lens - which is generally not a "good sign".

When I asked Mr. Toback if he'd take a different approach to "Fingers" today - given the wealth of experience under his belt since the original release - curiously he noted he'd change scenes which happened to be those that jarred my own filmmaking sensibilities.

But, I have to admit, in - "Exposed" - he redeemed himself. The transitions there were smooth and seamless and allowed the audience to be drawn into the storyline naturally. The down-to-earth director also noted he was inclined to allow the actors to work comfortably within a framework (which was evident by a chord of truth that was struck).

Although from a technical and artistic viewpoint - "Exposed" was a more highly- polished project - there were too many distractions which ultimately derailed the film.


Rudolph Nureyev - cast as a love interest for Nastassja Kinski's character - was a hysterical notion, for example.

During the lively discussion - in fact - Quentin chided Toback about the choice. And, Toback confessed, it was problematic.

"Nureyev was such a flamboyant gay man. No overlooking it."

As to his acting, well!

In one scene he breaks into a young lady's apartment and she angrily confronts him. Instead of turning on his heel and making a normal exit, he simply swings open the door with one hand - steps backward a foot or so (still facing her, mind you) - then pulls the door closed with a deft flip of his wrist. That may have worked on stage - but on the wide screen - no way!

The audience cackled!

Toback's fans were titillated when he revealed the dancer's man-size appetite for - well, um - men. And, they roared in disbelief when the easy-going director divulged that Rudolph slept with women, too.

Toback alleged that Nureyev slept with over three hundred women - if only because it was too difficult to say "no" - to 'em. Yeah, those sympathy fu**ks go a long way when it comes to selling ballet tickets!

There were revelations, too, about the underbelly of the "business".

After proudly noting to a backer that he had negotiated a deal for distribution of the film, the funder scolded him for getting involved in "matters" which were beyond his realm of involvement.

"To you it is a film. To me, it's a pair of shoes I'm selling to the highest bidder."

That was a rude awakening, 'fer sure!

Of course, Toback was quick to lament that "Exposed" was misunderstood when it was first released.

But, he was fast on the uptake.

"Jacqueline Kennedy 'got it'."
Allegedly, Jackie arranged for a private viewing of the film. At the end - unlike the others who hurled insults at the screen - the former 1st Lady gasped out loud and wept openly.

For me, it was a different reality.

I wondered inwardly - why is it that characters go to such great lengths in high-speed hair-raising car chases to track down and shoot their arch rival - then carelessly turn their backs on 'em before confirming they're dead as a doorknob?

You figure out the end scenario. A cop-out by a lazy writer?

Talk about Jim Brown - who appeared in a role that fit like-a-glove in "Finger" - garnered a wild raucous reaction from the audience.

There was a lot of scintillating gossip about drugs and orgies at Brown's digs, for instance.

"And, in the midst of the goings-on, it was disclosed that little Mike Tyson (all of eighteen) wrestled on the sidelines lapping it all up.
Funny that," laughed Toback. "With my documentary due out on Mike in February, it appears that after thirty years everything has come full circle."

Toback also joked about how frustrated he was at the time when Jim Brown's dailies came back and he was confronted with a "rotten tomatoes" performance that was stiff and unnatural.

Ironic, that!

The writer made copious notes - after observing Brown in conversation with friends, family, and hangers-on - to ensure he got the rhythm of the actor's speech patterns just so. Even still, Brown couldn't get a handle on the dialogue. Go figure!

As I strolled up to the lobby for a snack at intermission, I bumped into Ms. Kinski snapping up a soft drink and popcorn in anticipation of the second show.

When I queried her about potential acting projects on the horizon, she shrugged politely, and noted she's just a mom now with three children.

Not a bad accomplishment - at all - Nastassja.

But, in view of the luminous performance I witnessed on screen last night that captivated the audience, it's undoubtedly a great loss to the Cinema!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Federal "Shield" Law...Journalistic ethics separate wheat from chaff!

Interactive newsroom a wave of the future?


In the OPINION section of the Los Angeles Times, an attorney - Scott Gant - penned an article on the issues surrounding a proposed Federal "Shield" law geared towards protecting Journalists, their work product, and subsequent sources.

Mr. Gant noted that the Bush administration opposes the measure on the grounds that it would weaken law enforcement efforts and jeopardize National Security.

Baloney!

Currently, any reporter or news organization that refuses to cough up documents and information on the heels of a subpoena, may be fined, held in contempt of court, or tossed into jail.

Mr. Gant posed an intriguing question.

Who would fall under the protection of such a Statute?

The Washington legal eagle mused that by virtue of a proliferation of - bloggers, podcasters, and a myriad of fawning news outlets on the World-Wide-Web - that lawmakers would have to take a "stand".

To date, the House has defined Journalism as:

"The gathering, preparing, collecting, photographing, recording, writing, editing, reporting or publishing of news or information that concerns local, national or international events or other matters of public interest for dissemination to the public."

Understandably, under current thinking on the "Hill", due protections would be extended to those who "practise" journalism regularly and for a "substantial portion of the person's livelihood for substantial gain".

Would those who sell "gossip" be included?

Indeed - should the shield law be limited to so-called "professionals" - or be more inclusive to reflect a broader view of Journalism in the Internet age?

From there Gant took a giant leap and boldly asserted:

"The line distinguishing professional journalists from others who disseminate information, ideas, and opinions to a wide audience has been blurred."

He summed up by concluding:

"We're all capable of being Journalists now."

On the contrary!

Documentarians, perhaps. Journalists, no.

In my view - the distinction between a Journalist and one who "documents" and/or disseminates information - is crystal clear!

Journalists check their sources, for instance. And, verify their facts. Also, they endeavour to present a level playing field where both sides of the issues may be argued so the reportage is ultimately unbiased and balanced.

To quote the Detective from the old Dragnet series:

"Just the facts, man."

Notwithstanding, it should be noted that Journalists usually attend a College or specialized "learning institution" to "be educated" about - well, let's see - silly little concepts like ethics, rules of professional conduct, and standards in Journalism.

Oh yes, there may be a fine line between Journalists and those "others", to some.

To me, it's evident after perusing a few "news bites" on the Internet this morning, just how wide the "divide" is.

I found Mr. Gant's arguments not only self-serving but laughable and naive; in essence, he was reaching!

If anything, he has a skewered slant on things.

To boldly assert that the musings of a few - who dabble in social or political commentary on a personal blog or by podcast - are to be taken as legitimate Journalistic offerings is a ludicrous assertion by any stretch of the imagination.

Sir, there is an old saying:

"Consider the source."

Fortunately, there are a handful of true journalists who still carry the "torch" - and likewise - make every bold-faced effort to shed light in dark corners in a courageous pursuit of the truth.

Gee - maybe that's why we have Awards for outstanding accomplishment in Journalism - do 'ya figure?

Yes, to honor those who exemplify the epitome of standards and ethics in Journalism.

Citizens in the land of the alleged "free" should take every precaution to preserve - what to a handful - may appear to be a lofty ideal fading into oblivion.

Henry Anatole Grunwald once said:

"Journalism can never be silent: that is its greatest virtue and its greatest fault."

Barack Obama...creases in crotch require grooming tips!

Works every time on dress shirts, too!



If you saw the morning papers, you probably noticed all the "creases" in the crotch area of Barack Obama's slacks as he stood outside Downing Street chatting up England's Prime Minister.

Ah, this means one of two things.

Barack was either wearing "linen" slacks which crease at the drop of a hat (plunking down in an easy chair just once will do the trick) or has been sitting on his fanny too much chewing the fat with World Leaders overseas.

Fortunately for Barack, I am a former Men's Fashion Writer.

My column - "Dressing Right" - appeared in a Southam News daily.

Needless to say, I have a couple of handy grooming tips at my disposal to pass on.

Of course, Obama could take the easy way out. For example, he has only to "knock up" (English term for calling a bloke on the phone) the Concierge and ask that the Hotel cleaners give 'em a quick once over.

But, in view of the recent "prayer" episode in Jerusalem, maybe not such a good idea!

The Fleet Street rags would have their scumbag reporters all over those trousers - like flies on sh** - scouring the label for his designer, verifying the circumference of his waist and length of leg - and so on and so forth.

Well, there is a smart alternative!

Barack could tote a "compact" iron in his well-travelled suitcase. But - at "Customs" - that dandy little helper may be considered a bit fussy by onlookers (and a trifle "gay").

Wouldn't you say?

Besides, if Barack slips up and places the iron directly on the fabric, he'll end up with a shine in the seat of his pants! Who wants a glow coming up the rear?

Barack, just hang your slacks on a coat hanger on the shower curtain rod in the loo (English term for bathroom). Then, turn on the hot water full blast.

And, don't forget to tightly shut all the windows and doors!

In about twenty minutes, the designer duds will be steam-pressed, for free!

Ah, lucky for Barack, I'm pretty capable when it comes to pressing matters of State!

Maybe I should make a pitch for the illustrious role of "man's man"?

Or, would that be considered too "piss elegant" by American voters?

They're so touchy, 'ya know?


A little body sculpting may be in the offing too...

Elaine Knoles...scumbag "PI" terrorizes consumers and violates privacy rights!

Undoubtedly, a number of you are following the Pellicano case underway in the Los Angeles courthouse.

Mr. Pellicano is a private investigator who was hired by a disreputable individual to run interference against his enemies - sully their credibility and spread smut about them - with the ultimate aim of damaging their names and reputations.

And he used every trick in the book - including a handful of illegal ones - to accomplish that end.

He is currently on trial for alleged wiretapping, racketeering and other crimes.

This past week, there was a lot of testimony about a retired phone company technician - Rayford Turner - who is accused by the Government of having helped Pellicano with the wiretaps.

Teresa Wright (a former sales support manager at the phone carrier) divulged on the witness stand that she surreptitiously supplied Turner (a friend) with confidential information on people the government alleges Pellicano was wiretapping.

On the heels of this revelation, it was disclosed to the rapt Jury, that accessing that information without a valid service reason violated the phone company's code of ethics.

As Nixon henchmen would joke - "Pellicano "rat-f**ked" people, man."

All in a day's business for most private investigators.

When it comes to divorce cases, PI's are generally hired to sift through the dirty laundry.

You'll spy 'em lurking outside sleazy motel rooms in rattle-trap late model autos (picking their noses, no doubt) as they lay in wait for the incriminating "catch" - a revealing photo or some juicy tidbit - to aid in their client's scurrilous bidding. No holds barred.

Think - LA CONFIDENTIAL - and you'll get the idea.

Apparently - when a dispute between a top model and her ex-boyfriend struck frenzied peaks - a PI actually delved into garbage bins seeking DNA samples from items tossed in the bathroom trash. Yup, the stakes get high when high-profile careers and big bucks are involved!

According to my sources - car dealerships are notorious for hiring "Private Dicks" to track down vehicles that have gone astray after failed payments or disputes have arisen after a buyer determines the sellers unloaded lemons on 'em - or misrepresented the vehicle or financing details. You name it.

Oh, those folks are a nasty low-life gang of white-trailer trash, for sure.

Elaine Knoles - who uses the aka "Susan Holmes" - claims to be a licensed "Private Investigator" out of Trabuco Canyon in Orange County. Curiously, in spite of a thorough search on the Internet, this shadowy figure is difficult to pin down.

A review of the State's database of licensed investigators, for instance, doesn't turn up diddly squat.

Note: it has been confirmed that Ms. Knoles hasn't any State license.

Maybe, she's using the alias to distance herself from her outlandish unlawful antics?

If so - it would appear that in her twisted mind - she's under the wild impression that she's as keen at the art of detective work as the master Sherlock Holmes. Why else would she associate with the surname, Holmes?

With these demented losers, who knows!

If she's the "Susan Holmes" who posted a comment on a web site about her ability "to hide drugs" from the police, then maybe that's the answer in a nutshell. If the woman is an addict - her faculties may be so befuddled by the stupor - that the line has blurred between what is lawful and what is not.

Could it be that it's the sale of drugs that has afforded her the luxury of boasting ownership of a horse ranch in Trabuco Canyon? After all, it's difficult to fathom how a lowly agent for a repo agency manages to lay claim to such expensive digs. The spoils of her illegal pursuits? You figure it out.

Someone should take aim and upset her little apple cart because she's not only trampling on an individual's privacy - but oftentimes - viciously harassing and violating their rights in the process.

On one occasion, Ms. Holmes actually posed as a consumer's wife (he was single at the time) in a sneaky bold-faced effort to obtain his private phone records from the telephone company; then, proceeded to call the numbers on the billing statement to summarily slander and defame the unsuspecting individual to friends, family, and business associates.

Then, she disappeared into the woodwork, bragging about the mayhem she left in her wake.

Without any qualms, she's known to falsely allege that a person she's "tracking" is - homosexual or lesbian (whichever applies), taking drugs, carousing at gay (or straight) bars all night, ripping people off - whatever it takes to shock and demean is okay in her books.

In fact, it appears that she gets some kind of a perverse kick out of it, according to my sources.

While the attack is intended to defame - on occasion - she manipulates the cause to coerce a party into succumbing to demands - and ultimately - abandoning legitimate claims against her ensigns and employers.

Do her neighbours in Trabuco Canyon know what skullduggery she's up to when she slips out at night to to foist cars out from under unsuspecting citizens deep in slumber who are unaware of the evil that is about to descend upon them?

Her associates are prone to make outrageous threats, as well.

On more than one occasion, sources have informed me that callers at her behest, have hissed at startled victims,

"Unless you return the vehicle now a bounty hunter will track you down."

In fact - PI's often make menacing calls several times a day - in spite of the fact Consumer Protection Statutes specify that such conduct by debt collectors is unlawful.

And to think this kind of repulsive conduct is condoned by auto dealerships like Sunrise Ford (San Fernando Valley) and others in the Los Angeles area.

The film "Repo Man" wasn't far off in its depiction of the trade!

You'd think these establishments were run by the mob - and that at any given moment - burly guys in black suits with spaghetti on their ties might show up to break legs and bust heads.

Unfortunately, Ms. Knoles has been so clever at covering her tracks (and concealing her elusive whereabouts by deceitfully using aliases) that victims have been unable to bring legal action or lodge a complaint against her with State Officials who regulate the conduct of Private Investigators.

Understandably, the field is so poorly policed, that most of these degenerates get away with their harassment and what amounts to "Urban Terrorism".

Until now, that is.

A formal complaint was lodged against Ms. Knoles this past week with the State Attorney General's office and an investigation is pending.

It boggled my mind to learn friends of the parties being "chased down" had the audacity to answer phone calls from these flakes - and on occasion - disclosed intimate facts about their friends and family without hesitation. I'd show those "good buddies" the door!

Thereafter, Ms. Knoles and her henchmen used the private and confidential information to further their cause.

A handful of intelligent consumers have gotten wise over the years, have you?

Out of curiosity, I took a course for "Private Detective" work a few years back to get a take on the "industry".

What an eye-opening experience!

I was flabbergasted to learn what any bozo is capable of dredging up on the Internet with a few tools of the trade and some smarts at his or her fingertips.

The first place a skip tracer checks?

The voter's list of course; the info is a matter of public record and easy to obtain. Yeah, although you think you're doing your civic duty when you sign up each year to vote, you may be opening yourself up to the clever maneuverings of an ambitious bill collector, a stalker, or worse.

A suggestion?

Rent a mail box at the local post office. Then, use the secure mailing address for all records that filter into the public realm, so no prying eyes can act on 'em.

To avoid further scrutiny, be wary of signing up willy-nilly for subscriptions to newspapers and magazines. After all, it's a snap for an experienced PI to access those files, too.

Did you know that detailed financial information on mortgage papers are in the public domain as well? Granted, a person has to engage in a little savvy legwork at the Hall of Records to secure the data - but when bucks are involved - you bet your sweet bippy someone will be quick on the uptake.

After all - mortgage documents not only reveal the name of your bank - but your social security number and your marital status (among other things).

With this information, the PI can saunter off on another tangent; who knows, maybe access IRS records by their automated system or find out your last transaction from a credit report to fathom where you shop.

Then, use the info to lay in wait for you!

Seem preposterous?

Most of these pretentious d**ks are just small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Once their victim coughs up the money - or they manage to snatch up the vehicle - they'll go their merry way.

But, shouldn't you take precautions for the future?

Tips

Use a Post Office Box to ensure your home address is confidential and out of the public record. For instance, direct mail for your Driver's License, credit card accounts, and bank statements to that location for security reasons. In the event you are out-of-town on holiday, or business, it may be lifesaver and bring you peace of mind to boot.

Use a voice mail number for applications, surveys on the street, and contests to avoid being the victim of thieves, spammers, and rip-off salesmen.

Use initials to signify your identity whenever possible - on subscriptions for e-mail newsletters, magazines, and the like - to protect gender info and throw off potential stalkers.

Use a secret code on your telephone account so no one can access your statement over the phone without your knowledge or permission.

Install a secret code on credit card accounts to prevent a review of your account without your authorization or knowledge.

Buy a "call display" screen device for your phone so you can verify the identity of a caller before you pick up. If you're out when a message was left - use reverse look-up (Internet Search) - before returning the call for further protection. If the number is not listed - and the caller claimed to be a business entity or service provider - be cautious. It may be a scam and/or a fraudulent attempt to "fish" for information.

And, finally, inform your family and friends not to give out personal and confidential information on the telephone to anyone - under any circumstances - without your permission first (no matter how tempting).

After all, protection starts at home...

Be wary of Micro cameras in belt buckles...

Barack Obama...prayer PR ploy? Heh, God's watching!

The door of deception

There was a big flap in the media overnight when it was learned that a prayer Barack Obama slipped into the Western Wall in Jerusalem was lifted by "persons unknown" and allegedly sold to a Hebrew-language newspaper.

When a copy of the handwritten note was published, many of the faithful were outraged.

Rabbi Shmuel Rabinvitz - who is caretaker for the Holy site - lamented:

"The notes placed between the stones of the Western Wall are between a person and his maker. It is forbidden to read them or make use of them."

Personally, I wouldn't want to raise the wrath of the Almighty.

But frankly, this whole incident doesn't quite pass the "smell test" to me.

Is it possible that one of Obama's "handlers" turned over the prayer to a third party for circulation?

After all, the contents of the "note" are mighty curious to me!

Barack allegedly penned:

"Lord - protect my family and me. Forgive me for my sins (ah, he has some!), and help me guard against pride and despair. Give me the wisdom to do what is right and just. And make me an instrument of your will."

Talk about covering all the bases!

If you ask me, it was written with the knowledge - or intention - that it would be revealed to the world.

Yeah, call me cynical.

But, the prayer is too "perfect" and smacks of having been crafted.

An attorney - Guy Mashiach - went so far as to conjecture that Obama knew what would happen to his prayer and acted according.

A public relations ploy to solidify his image as a do-gooder and a man of the Lord?



Notwithstanding, the scriptures are quite emphatic about the importance of praying in private.




Matthew 6:5 - 7

"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites [are]: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

"But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do]: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking."

To make a show of his appearance (knowing full-well the "prayer" would be the focus of attention) and to pad the note with much "speaking" - assuredly puts Barack's baffling actions - into question.

Obama, the Lord is watching!

As Albert Einstein once said,

"Before God we are all equally wise and equally foolish."

Barack Obama...side-steps questions! Typical slime-ball politician?

The morning papers were awash with news bites on the heels of Barack Obama's brief stop-over in France - and his subsequent meeting with President - Nicolas Sarkozy.

Some reporters focused on their discussions about Iran's nuclear program, global warming, and such.

But, for many, issues pertaining to U.S. and French relations appeared to be at the fore.

Others wondered, how would Barack's meeting with Sarkozy, would be interpreted by the voters?

In one report, it was theorized that John Kerry's French "connections" negatively affected his campaign for President a scant few years ago.

Outspoken critics, for instance, poked fun and hinted he was "less-than-American" because of family ties in St. Briac-sur-Mer and his ability to fluently converse in the French language.

To prevent such a crisis from arising in his camp - it appears that Obama's intuition shifted into high gear - and he reacted according.

For example, when the Senator was asked - "whether it was a good thing to be loved by the French in the United States" - he evaded the question!

Instead, he responded by diplomatically stating,

"I think the American voter understands that problems like climate change, or energy, or terrorism cannot be solved by any one country alone and that it has to be a group effort."

Heh, Obama!

It was a simple question that required a simple answer: "yes" or "no".

Ah, that sneaky dem side-stepped the issue!

Yeah, the presidential hopeful went for the pat answer that would appeal across the board without offending.

But, the question still remains.

"Is it a good thing to be loved by the French in the United States, Obama?"

We're waiting patiently for your answer!

As an unknown pundit once said,

"Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason."

A mother's love...quote!

There is no substitute for a mother's love...

Julian Ayrs
The Daily Planet
Collection of Poems

Rosemary's Baby...Nuart Midnight Screening. July 25th!

Rosemary's Baby will be screening tonight at the Nuart Theatre in West Los Angeles (July 25th) at midnight.

I recall when the intense thriller first graced the screen.

The intense horror flick - starring Mia Farrow - caused quite a sensation.

Although the special effects no doubt pale to the offerings today - what with all the advances in technology over the years - Rosemary's Baby still ranks high as one of the top scariest films of all time.

The sensational feature was adapted from a novel by known Satanist Ira Levin.


The movie version produced at Paramount was directed by the celebrated (now somewhat infamous) Roman Polanski.

Levin was hired as a consultant on the high profile project.


Anton La Vey - founder of the Satanist Church - appeared briefly as the devil.

La Vey touted the film as,

"The best paid commercial for Satanism since the Inquisition."

When Ms. Farrow was asked to play the role, she was married to Frank Sinatra at the time.

During the course of the film - Mia's normally luscious locks of hair - were cropped quite short (a la "twiggy-style") to accommodate a storyline which caused one former flame to quip to the press,

"I always knew Frank would end up with a boy."



Concerned that Mia would be on location a lot, and out of romantic reach, Frank issued an ultimatum: pick me or the movie.

Ms. Farrow chose to continue filming; consequently, shortly thereafter she was served with divorce papers on the set one day just as she was about to shoot a dramatic scene.

Curiously, events surrounding the film, caused many to consider the real possibility that dark forces were at work behind-the-scenes.

On June 5 (1968) - ten days before Rosemary's Baby was released - Polanski and his wife Sharon Tate dined with Robert Kennedy in Malibu. Shortly thereafter, Mr. Kennedy was assassinated at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles.

A year later - on August 7th (1969) - Charles Manson disciples brutally murdered Sharon Tate and her unborn baby - along with four other people at the Director's in the Hollywood Hills in California.

Rosemary's Baby was shot at the legendary Dakota Apartment complex in Manhattan.

Arnold Schwarzenegger...budget mess signals lack of leadership!

Give a man a couple of inches and he thinks he's a ruler...


News reports logging the negative impact of the current budget crisis in California are quite disturbing to read.

While politicians like Arnold Schwarzenegger loll around on their fat a** - smoking foot long cigars and plotting on how to "best" their enemies in Sacramento over the issues - the lower classes are forced to suffer.

For example, pending the approval of a budget, it has been announced that funding for Medi-Cal clinics have been suspended. Of course - this means that the poor and disadvantaged in the State - may be without health care until the "deadlock" is freed up.

In addition, agencies that provide services for the disabled (which are funded one hundred percent by the State) may face life-threatening hardships, too.

I expect that home-owners and renters - who rely on a tax credit about this time each year - will also be shut out in the cold (no checks will be issued) until that "girly man" in the State Capitol gets his act together.

Arnold, you lack leadership skills!

Get off your high horse, roll up your sleeves, and get thee into negotiations.

Have you no conscience, Sir?

Anonymous blog comments...to post or not to post?

Well, when you first start up your blog, you face one dilemma right off the bat.

Do you accept comments across the board without censorship?

In view of the fact there are a staggering number of wackos out there - spewing a lot of psycho babble as they surf the Internet daily - for me the answer to the question was an easy one to come to grips with.

Then, the issue of "anonymous" comments surfaces.

There are many good reasons why an individual may be inclined to post a comment anonymously.

It is wholly possible the person is a celebrity or in the public eye and they want to make a contribution to the dialogue without throwing the spotlight on themselves.

Okey-dokey!

On the other hand, setting up an account (at Blogspot, for instance) with requisite - e-mail contact address, background info, and profile shot - may be a bit of a pain in the butt (and too time-consuming) for some.

In that event - if the "anonymous" author makes an intelligent comment or worthwhile contribution to the discussion topic - I am inclined to "publish".

But, when it comes to "anonymous" comments that take pot shots at personalities mentioned in a post, or that go into a vitriolic rant about some political or social issue, I am inclined to "reject" the remarks.

For good reason!

My blog is not a forum for cowards who seek to assassinate the character of public figures while they remain out of harm's way anonymously.

Nor is it a launching pad for those with a "secret agenda" either!

Once I start to peruse such a missive, and determine the nature of its misguided focus, I just hit the old "reject" button.

In fact, the comment remains not only "unread", but does even see the light of day!

The bar is set pretty high for those who seek to make the "cut" at the Tattler.

But, my standards are reasonable under the circumstances.

For example, in spite of the fact I am inclined to pen and post daily - and make a few outrageous remarks on occasion sure to rankle a few - at least my mug shot (and legal name captioned above) squarely identify me.

Brooke Shields once said,

"I make no excuses."

Nor do I.

Frankly, it's liberating!

As George Bernard Shaw once said,

"Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated."

Senator Kuehl...foul-mouthed Democrat backs Hillary!

Barack's studly cowboy image sure to rustle up gay votes...


In one of the throw-a-away "GAY" rags, there was a report that during an OUTFEST (Gay Film Festival) panel discussion on Senator Barack Obama, Democrats complained that the presidential candidate was moving towards the "middle".

Not unlike the mainstream press, the gay media took that cue when Obama was inclined to vote "yes" on a waiver for Telecommunications companies (that would exonerate them from allegations of wrongdoing in any criminal proceedings) who were involved in the illegal government wiretaps at the height of the terrorist threats.

On the heels of the discussion, a handful of "gay dems" lamented they're tinkering with the idea of voting for John McCain this fall.

In response, California Senator Kuehl (Dobie Gillis) allegedly scowled,

"You tell 'em, they'll do whatever Hillary fu**in' well tells 'em to do."

Ms. Kuehl, unlike your "Zelda-ites" - who obviously fall into line when you bark orders - intelligent democrats follow the beat of a different drummer.

In fact - I am inclined to hazard a guess - that it is best for the Democratic party to take a line of action that is the opposite of whatever Hillary offers up.

After all, Barack Obama is the "future".

Hillary and her cronies are political dead-beats relegated to the past!


Kuehl, mouth like truck driver...

John McCain...to pick Jeb Bush as VP?

We fooled the voters once, we'll fool 'em again...


Whoa Nellie!

I sat up and took notice when I spied a list of potential running mates for that crotchety presidential candidate, John McCain.

Jeb Bush is on the short list?

If that's the case, let's take a gander at the potential scenario.

John McCain wins the Presidential race with Jeb on the VP ticket.

Then, one evening - after ingesting a bit of nitroglycerin for the old ticker - an impotent moment with Cindy inclines the aging Lothario to pop a tab of Viagra.

Faster than you can say - double whammy! - McCain is carted off to the hospital quick as a wink.

Too late!

So, who becomes top dog in the White House?

You got it: Jeb Bush.

Well, looks like Obama may be a shoe-in, after all, once voters get their priorities straight!

I still like to swing even if John is not up to it...

$25.00 fines for exposing tight-whities! Abercrombie & Fitch flesh, ok?

Townsfolk in Southern Chicago have approved an ordinance that will allow a fine of $25.00 to be levied against any male exposing over three inches of his - um - tight-whities in the hood!

Their reasoning?

The unsightly display of soiled undergarments may keep major retailers and economic development at bay.

Heh, give Abercrombie & Fitch a call, Mayor.

The savvy retailer gives a bold twist to fashion cheek - er - chic!

Idiots...quote!

You can't talk reason to an idiot!



Julian Ayrs

The Daily Planet

Collection of Poems

Beijing Olympics...China ignorant about Global Warming. "Dog meat" consumption revolting notion!

China's last gleaming...

Protests in San Francisco...

In anticipation of a host of swarming masses descending on the Olympics in the next few weeks, China has issued some ultimatums to create a "greener" setting for the games.

For example, Officials have restricted the use of private automobiles on the streets over the next few weeks to reduce smog.

And, have increased mass transit in a bold-faced effort to alleviate the problem as well.

What a joke!

According to recent statistics, at least sixteen of the twenty most polluted cities are in China.

And - in spite of the fact the Chinese government has recently begun to relocate factories, haul old clunkers off the street, and plant trees to get a jump on global warming - it's all a little too late, isn't it?

The 11th hour actions should have been prompted by concerns about the environment, not by a deceitful attempt to gloss over the obvious - and in the process - conjure up a superficial image to the Nations of the world!

In essence, the whole bold-faced ploy is a white-wash.

In fact, China's efforts are akin to slapping a band-aid on a deep wound that has been hemorrhaging for years.

Indeed - some of the damage caused to the environment - is undoubtedly permanent.

The idea that restricting vehicle traffic for the next three weeks will rid the skies of green house gases is a ludicrous notion!

What really turned my stomach, though, was the announcement that a popular entree - "dog meat" - would be taken off the menu during the duration of the games to ensure foreign visitors were not offended during the course of the athletic celebration.

Are they going to allow a few stray dogs to wander the streets for appearances sake, too, before they herd them back to the chopping block at the close of the Olympics?

Talk about inhumane conduct!

This is a country populated by savages, in my estimation.

The arguments for "Boycott" are ripe!

Tom Brady...plugs thirst-quencher with smarts!

Well, the ta ta's had a little somethin' to do with it...

A double-decker sightseeing bus roared around a corner just off tony Rodeo Drive and caught my appreciative eye.

One whole side of the vehicle - packed with rollicking tourists - was splashed with a studly shot of All-Star quarterback Tom Brady alighting from a helicopter with a bottle of "smartwater" in his clenched hand.

Must have been one of those sizzling hot nights!

On the reverse side of the carrier, Tom gets down 'n dirty with rough 'n tumble team-mates, primed and ready to go.

Ah, that smart water.

The trendy liquid not only quenches the thirst, but adds a bit of zip to boot.

Used to be, Gatorade was the "after-drink" of choice to restore electrolytes after a strenuous work-out.

One problem, though.

The lime or cherry-colored magic water was packed with a mountain of sugar!

18 grams, or so, to be exact.

Now, dudes-in-the-know, grab the intelligent stuff.

Must be somethin' else lurking inside that sensual-looking designer bottle.

If the potent potion can keep me up (!) and capable of carousing all night with blond bimbo babes - like Tommy boy - then order me a carton, please!

Now, play ball!

Barack Obama...lay off the Missus!

No nookie tonight...


This past week, Barack Obama grumbled to whoever would listen, that the press has been quite tough on his life partner, Michelle.

"Lay off the wife," was his basic war cry.

Well, Barack, the missus is part 'n parcel of it all.

Once the finicky voters gave you the once-over (and a nod to throw up your feet on the desk in the Oval Office) the spotlight turned on your - um - better half?

Americans need to know Michelle can pass the muster, so-to-speak.

We know she's no "Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis" - pill box hat or not - but the former Ms. Bouvier set a pretty high bar, 'ya know?

John Kerry probably lost the election because of his hubby.

Americans just weren't ready to warm up to the idea of a condiment heiress strolling down the hallowed halls of the White House barefoot after midnight swilling a glass of expensive Chablis.

Even if they do like ketchup on their potatoes!

Barack, a piece of advice...

If Michelle perfects the image of the "dutiful" mate, she'll manage to pass the smell test.

At that juncture, Americans may conveniently forget the unsavory remarks about being - "proud of being an American for the first time" - and let the two of you get on with the journey (wherever it may lead) in life!

On the issue of campaign behavior, Eleanor Roosevelt once said,

"Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."

Is it Barack's time?

X-Files...Fan Celebration at Grauman's Chinese Theatre. July 23rd!

They're back...

Fans have been waiting patiently in the wings for the X-Files movie to debut.

Now, the big screen version of the TV hit is about to be unveiled to an ecstatic fan base next week.

To honor the "X-Philes" (as enthusiasts are known) 20th Century Fox is hosting a Fan Celebration at the World Premiere screening of:

"THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE"

The studio is inviting X-Philes to gather on July 23rd at Grauman's Chinese in Hollywood (CA) in specially-built seats (along the Walk of Fame) where they can observe the "red-carpet" arrivals and participate in a special conference with the film’s popular stars "David Duchovny" and "Gillian Anderson".

In addition to the actors, Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz (who wore writer/producer hats for this project) will be on hand to field questions from filmgoers and the press.

Seating will be on a first-come first-serve basis.

Please note:
Special credentials will be distributed at 4:00 p.m. to the first 500 fans who show up.

The festivities will commence promptly at 6:00 p.m.

In addition, X-Philes around the globe will be able to experience the gala event live via a special Internet site from which they can direct questions in real-time to the film’s cast and filmmakers.

During the course of this "Entertainment Extravaganza" - a worldwide community of fans will have the opportunity to interact with over one hundred of the co-stars, guest stars, and behind-the-scenes personnel who toiled on X-Files - who have committed to appear.

To get a jump on the celebration, surf to the X-Files web site today:

http://www.xfiles.com

See 'ya there!