If you saw the morning papers, you probably noticed all the "creases" in the crotch area of Barack Obama's slacks as he stood outside Downing Street chatting up England's Prime Minister.
Ah, this means one of two things.
Barack was either wearing "linen" slacks which crease at the drop of a hat (plunking down in an easy chair just once will do the trick) or has been sitting on his fanny too much chewing the fat with World Leaders overseas.
Fortunately for Barack, I am a former Men's Fashion Writer.
My column - "Dressing Right" - appeared in a Southam News daily.
Needless to say, I have a couple of handy grooming tips at my disposal to pass on.
Of course, Obama could take the easy way out. For example, he has only to "knock up" (English term for calling a bloke on the phone) the Concierge and ask that the Hotel cleaners give 'em a quick once over.
But, in view of the recent "prayer" episode in Jerusalem, maybe not such a good idea!
The Fleet Street rags would have their scumbag reporters all over those trousers - like flies on sh** - scouring the label for his designer, verifying the circumference of his waist and length of leg - and so on and so forth.
Well, there is a smart alternative!
Barack could tote a "compact" iron in his well-travelled suitcase. But - at "Customs" - that dandy little helper may be considered a bit fussy by onlookers (and a trifle "gay").
Wouldn't you say?
Besides, if Barack slips up and places the iron directly on the fabric, he'll end up with a shine in the seat of his pants! Who wants a glow coming up the rear?
Barack, just hang your slacks on a coat hanger on the shower curtain rod in the loo (English term for bathroom). Then, turn on the hot water full blast.
And, don't forget to tightly shut all the windows and doors!
In about twenty minutes, the designer duds will be steam-pressed, for free!
Ah, lucky for Barack, I'm pretty capable when it comes to pressing matters of State!
Maybe I should make a pitch for the illustrious role of "man's man"?
Or, would that be considered too "piss elegant" by American voters?
They're so touchy, 'ya know?
A little body sculpting may be in the offing too...
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