On the eve of the release of a tell-all bio on talk-show host - Oprah Winfrey - the sh** is flying, and subsequently, titilating tattlers all over the blogosphere.
A tearful Kitty Kelley (who penned the penetrating tome) complained to one tabloid magazine show that Oprah is using her considerable weight in the industry to lock her out of the talk show circuit to promote her new book which is simply titled "Oprah Winfrey".
“Barbra Walters won’t have me on "The View". And, Larry King doesn’t want to have anything to do with me,” she bellowed to all within earshot.
Then, Kelley took a poke at Dave Letterman.
“He said he didn’t want to disrupt his relationship with Oprah. But, he's been in an ongoing dispute with Oprah for sixteen years,.” she lamented in total disbelief.
Gail, Oprah’s BFF (some say Lesbian lover) laughed that Kelley’s credibility was lacking.
“She said she interviewed 850 people for the book. Oprah doesn’t know that many people.”
That argument doesn’t hold up to me.
Over the 25-year course of the Oprah gab fest, the rotund little interviewer must have crossed paths with at least that many individuals, without so much as a cheery hello.
It is conceivable that those individuals made astute observations on the sidelines along the way.
How a person acts back-stage and out of the spotlight - when they think no one is watching or taking notes - is often quite a revelation.
If Gail thinks otherwise, obviously she’s been using so much hairspray on that tacky "do", that it seeped into her skull and eroded her brain!
Kelley pointed out that she culled hundreds of interviews - from dog-eared newspaper clips, insightful magazine profiles, and talk show appearances - and thus - was able to use Oprah’s "own words" in the book.
Provided the quotes were accurate, of course!
But, critics at the New York Times had their own take on that slant.
“It’s just a lot of old material, gleaned from ancient clippings, rehashed," they accused in so many words.
Kelley is adamant that the book contains choice new morsels for readers to chew on.
“I spoke to Oprah’s Aunt Katherine and she revealed who Oprah’s real father is.”
On talks shows, meanwhile, the controversy raged.
One guest gushed that she loved Oprah and that she wanted to digest every delicious detail about her favorite TV persona.
Another labeled the book smut and denounced the author.
“I want Oprah on a pedestal,” she rallied in support.
Gail took the position that because Oprah has allegedly been straightforward about her life, that the book amounts to a lot of silly pap, not worthy of a day's read at the beach.
“It won’t end up on the Oprah book of the month club,“ she laughed.
Gail is daft.
Undoubtedly, the book will sell oodles of copies, once the word gets out.
Surely gossip mongers around the country will want to devour every salicious detail about an affair Oprah jumped into with John Tesh way back when.
One charged that Oprah was entitled to her privacy.
In response, another pundit laughed hysterically.
“But she’s on a talk show everyday!”
Vernon Winfrey - who granted a rare interview to Kelley - opined that Oprah’s success was all about timing and came when there was an auspicious upswing in the civil rights movement.
According to Kelly, though, Vernon is not Oprah’s real father.
In a 3-days huddle with Aunt Katherine, Kelley swears that she learned who sired Oprah.
“I was sworn to secrecy, though,“ Kelley confided.
The controversial literary figure with the acid pen would prefer that Oprah discover the truth herself, though.
Is that the bombshell that Oprah doesn’t want anyone to know about?
Maybe Ms. Winfrey is now primed and ready to appear as a guest on the popular new TV hit:
"Who do you think you are?"
As to Kelley, well, if she takes a poke at Oprah for any alleged plastic surgeries - in my mind's eye - that would be like calling the kettle black.
After all, Kelley's plastic-looking (stretched skin) is a sure indicator that she has the corner on that market!
News at 11!
Oprah simple-minded backwoods gal!
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