Some nights on the ABC hit show - Dancing with the Stars - the intriguing twists-and-turns don't make any sense!
But - there is enough high drama, nubile & studly flesh, sexual innuendo, and dazzle in front of the floodlights - to trigger an onslaught of viewers each week.
Last week, Dancing with the Stars soared to the top of the ratings heap, for example.
It should be noted, though, that American Idol breathed down Bruno's neck, and rustled up a higher share of the much-sought-after 15 to 34 demographic.
Yup!
Occasionally, Dancing with the Stars - thanks to the old fart (Len) - gets a bit creaky now and then.
But, it's still entertaining (on the edge of your seat) bill-of-fare on some teary-eyed nights.
Since last's weeks segment, I make sure I have a box of kleenex nearby and tasty bon bons in hand, so I may chew up the dazzle that parades across the high-energy stage without interrption.
In view of what went down tonight, it appears that there may be a bit of sly maneuvering on the part of the head honchos behind-the-scenes, to propel the ratings-getters forward in the show.
For example, I got the impression that a judge or two were wearing poker faces.
Was there an Ace or two up their sleeves?
Just maybe, they were holding back a little in a bold-faced effort to finesse somewhere down the yellow brick road?
Some of the slight-of-hand was glaring!
In spite of the fact audiences roared their approval throughout the night (deservedly so) - on occasion - the Judges' criticisms caused the fans to grumble loudly in the bleachers.
In fact, raucous boos at emotional high points in the competition hinted that a lynch mob was getting ready to demonstrate their anger, and go for a pound of flesh.
No wonder!
At times, the Judges appeared to contradict themselves.
For instance, on more than one occasion - in spite of the fact a dance assessment was flattering - the kudos did not translate well in the scoring department.
Were they letting the dancers down gently?
Sly devils, all!
The tension heightened this week also when ABC execs raised the stakes a tad.
The judges have been instructed to issue up two tallies - one for technique - and the other for performance.
Erin Andrews and her partner were first up.
Ever tactful, Erin asserted to the camera (and viewing audience at home) that the advice offered up the previous week was insightful.
True to form, the newscaster stressed that she intended to focus on her footwork, pursuant to one of the Judge's instructions.
Her partner told her to forget Len, though, and just focus on her dancing.
It will trip you up, he cautioned, in so many words.
This week was a bit tricky for Erin to begin with due to an injury (a contusion) she suffered on last week's show.
But, the doctor on board gave her the green light to compete nonetheless.
The handsome duo danced the tango.
Erin was sexy and seductive in red.
But, her partner looked ridiculous in a black and white top open to the belly-button.
What a strange get-up that was.
Bondage meets nellie?
The attractive duo's interpretation - to the popular strains of "Sweet Dreams" - was romantic.
A female Judge opined that Erin was concentrating so hard that it interrupted the flow.
Picky! Picky! Picky!
Even still, there was wild applause and a standing ovation.
Evan and his partner felt confident about their performance but worried about technique.
"Look up," she instructed, after noting that Evan had a tendency to gaze downward (to his detriment).
Once again, the professional figure skater was a knock-out in his fashion choices for the dance number.
The glittery collar, on a basic black silhouette featuring a high waist band, were chic flourishes.
Fans reacted enthusiastically to a number which smartly unfolded from a position on one lone chair in the middle of the stage, to later encompass the whole stage.
Bruno, such a clever one with words, waxed that Evan was so fascinating to watch in view of his cat-like arrogance.
Purr-fect!
Another Judge was more generous in their assessment.
"The blend of artistry and technique was just right."
Anna's slinky dress left a lot to be desired, though.
Two slits at the bodice caused her boobs to flesh out in an odd way and was a tacky look overall.
Speaking of gowns, Brooke's was a disaster.
The fleshy tones did not suit her.
And, strap-like oddities - going this way 'n that - were downright befuddling.
Were they scrimping on wardrobe expenses this week?
Neicy was instructed by her teacher to focus on her spiritual side, in what amounted to a tribute her brother, who passed to spirit a few years ago.
A major criticism was that - "in her mind the dance was something special" - that didn’t translate well to the judges or the audience.
"I wanted to make a statement that there is life on the other side of loss and suffering," she poignantly noted with a tinge of sadness in her voice.
"I didn't want to do the cliché rumba love story," her partner pointed out to the Judges, in case they missed what he was aiming for.
A Soap opera stud made a big splash on the deck of a ship when he tore his t-shirt off at the request of frenzied fans who proceeded to snap publicity stills in a flurry of flashbulbs.
Unfortunately, there weren't any washboard abs in sight.
Aiden, you need to do some crunches, sit-ups, leg-ups - whatever!
His pecs could stand a little pumping up, too.
Nicole and Derek, as always, did not disappoint.
The handsome blond's schtick about his love hand was hilarious.
He's such a cutie, that its doubtful anyone would kick him out of bed, not for eating crackers anyway.
The couple's moves were exciting, elegant, and serene.
Derek must be gay to create tricky dance steps like that (and pull 'em off).
Nicole, the pussy-cat doll, was not unlike a creature that stepped out of a dream, according to the Judges.
I agree!
Jake promised - to not only give it his all this week on "Stars" - but one-hundred-and-fifty percent in fact.
For starters, he may spark a trend with his t-shirt, which sported a Judge's prior caustic remarks on its face.
"Turn up. Keep up. Shut up"
When he didn' give it his all , and instead struggled through the routine at rehearsal, his partner told him to hit the deck and give her ten push-ups.
What a task-master!
By the way, is it just me, or does Chelsie Hightower talk like she has marbles in her mouth?
Tony squeezed into a black leather suit somewhat reminiscent of a look from the 80's music phenomenon the "Village People".
Yawn!
Kate Gossellin's "do" - with feathery extensions which added a soft frame to her face - was quite flattering.
Bruno referred to her performance as a mini-breakthrough.
I think he was being kind; after all, I found it ho-hum.
Another Judge put it more succinctly perhaps.
"There wasn't any artistry, but there was a lot of determination."
Ouch!
Chad and Cheryl sparked a lot of gossip.
"What's with that sparkler on your finger," Brooke probed.
Cheryl insisted it was just a gift, but Chad hinted that he was in hot pursuit, and after more than friendship.
At one point, Tom speculated that Chad flirted with the lone female judge on the panel, as he majestically waltzed by the podium.
In response, Len quipped:
"Oh, I thought he was gazing at me."
The audience roared!
Pam Anderson - Hollywood sex Goddess - confessed that there was no man in her life right now.
If not, then who was that dude all over her at an after-hours club (Guys & Dolls) one dark and whiskey-soaked night last week trying to get in-like Flynn?
A one-night stand or paid bum boy, I surmise.
The gown she tossed on for her number was little more than a sheet (a momento of the other tawdry night?) tied here and there to prevent her private parts from flapping in the breeze.
Len was ecstatic about her performance.
"It was understated, but sophisticated. Well done."
Not to be outdone, Bruno chimed in:
"Pamela can do refinement and elegance and still be drop-dead gorgeous."
On that upbeat note, see 'ya tonight!
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