Yesterday, after our mutual decision to follow each other on Twitter, I received an e-mail communication from John Vogel at the Democratic Committee headquarters (DCCC) in Washington (DC).
"I'm sure you've heard the same media coverage I have," he quipped in the opening paragraph of his greeting.
"Republicans have the momentum. Democrats are in disarray. The Tea Party movement is sweeping America."
At this juncture, Vogel made a pitch for me to join the Democratic party.
"January 20th marks the one-year anniversary since President Obama took office. The pundits and the Republicans are in full-blown "spin mode" trying to attack the President. We have set a goal of having 10,000 new members by January 20th and we need your urgent support today to reach it."
I guess he hadn't heard.
When folks probe me as to whether I am a Republican or a Democrat, I usually quip:
"I'm a Canadian."
But, since my disaapproval for Prime Minister Stephen Harper is pretty widespread, I surmise Vogel was urged by his "masters" to give it a shot nonetheless.
"There has never been more of a critical time to join the Democratic Congressional Campaign," he continued earnestly.
If I acted now, he concluded, there was a golden opportunity to show the world that I stood behind President Barack Obama and the Democrats.
If I made a contribution, and joined the political party officially, I would also receive a special House insider strategy session, an official membership card (who-ee!) and a battleground kit send out by U.S. Post.
I sat bolt upright.
I was intigued by the battleground kit, you betcha!
But, when I clicked onthe image, I was immediately transported to a donation page!
In fact, when I conducted a search to locate a photograph of the kit and its contents, I came up empty-handed.
Since a kit to prepare for battle must be secret from warriors on the other side, I expect potential new members are kept in the dark until their pledge is honored and the kit summarily arrives in a plain brown paper-wrapping at their home in the burbs in somewhere USA.
Once the handy kit ceremoniously arrives in the mail, I expect it will contain clandestine instructions on how to facilitate a bevy of the useful tools (and tips) the Democrats have graciously provided.
Here's what I expect to have been carefully packed inside:
1. Palin doll with 2012 etched on chest with 12 needles
2 Reid book with Obama quips lightly blacked out
3. McCain gaffes circled in bright red in Reid tome
4. Standard quips to utter when asked about healthcare
5. Document confirming Obama's birth somewhere.
6. Ayres terrorist manifesto with Perez Hilton scribbles on face
7. Testimonies from staffers that Obama is straight as arrow
8. Detailed map of bike trails in Washington (& Hawaii)
9. Locations of Burger Kings (& quickest late night routes)
10. Biscuits for 1st dog to curry favor next visit to white house.
The check is in the mail!
By the way, do you know what the other two biggest lies are?
*Black is beautiful
*I promise not to c** in your mouth
Picture worth a thousand excuses!
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