A couple of days ago I penned a post noting that a sports writer at the TIMES was hinting that Olympic Swimmer - Michael Phelps - might be gay.
Shortly thereafter, the Internet was all a-buzz with speculation.
Today, Kevin Van Valkenburg (a sports writer) asserted for the record that - not only is Phelps straight - but that he has a girlfiend.
However, Kevin poohed poohed suggestions by TMZ that the woman in question was a fellow swimmer.
After a clever cat 'n mouse game, the columnist finally concluded by espousing a philosophical message which I perceive as the quote of the day:
"Some things in a guy's life deserve to be kept private."
He got that right.
Like, what kind of condoms he uses. And - in particular - whether he springs for premium-size latex or "one size fits all".
Yeah, quite a few guys hang in the humbler category.
Then, there's the issue of lovemaking. A woman should never disclose that he likes it doggie-style or missionary-style - or even if he likes to talk dirty - when he gets down 'n nasty.
And, it's a definite no-no to talk about the size - um - grandeur (or lack thereof) of his man tool.
Don't want to give him a Napoleon complex, do 'ya?
By the way, guys - if you ever decide to check out your best buddy (at the urinal, in the locker room, or while showering) to fathom what he's got hanging between his muscular limbs that turns the women (or guys) on - just remember one thing.
Not all studs are "showers".
Uh-huh. Some dudes are "growers".
While flaccid, a regular Joe may look like his co** is the size of a church mouse's.
But, once aroused, his "Johnson" may turn into a roaring monster.
Yup.
That's how legends are born!
If it doesn't fit, you can't convict...
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