Fashion...may be injurious to your health! Quirky tips...

Today I was strolling through UCLA campus when I spied a gaggle of students queuing up for a free flu shot.

Because of a hectic schedule this past couple of weeks, I neglected to stop in for one at the local clinic.

Since CVS leases space to a qualified mini-clinic in their store on Westwood Blvd, I thought I'd stretch my legs a little and get a jab in the arm, before a nasty bout of the winter dregs descended on me.

As the technician prepared the vaccine, I noticed in their flyer that the nurse on duty was qualified to perform simple medical tasks which didn't require a Doctor's license.

I felt silly when a thought crossed my mind, but plunged ahead anyway.

"Can I ask you a dumb question," I asked hesitantly.

What's a person going to say to a silly request like that?

"Shoot!"

I prefaced my question by first noting that the medical affliction was a bizarre one.

Then, proceeded.

I pointed out that in the past couple of weeks - for some inexplicable reason - my belly-button (told you it was a zinger!) was swollen and sore to the touch.

"May I see it," she reacted without batting an eye.

When I lifted my tight-fitting "t" - designed by Abercrombie & Fitch (natch!) - I thrust out my less-than-toned stomach a tad so her keen eye could take a gander at the offending body part.

Her professional assessment jarred me!

The young beauty was familiar with the medical condition.

Whew, thank God!

In the back of my mind, I imagined that - just maybe - the doctor who delivered me screwed up at Toronto General a scant few decades ago (!) and I was just now suffering from the after-effects of a botched snip at the umbilical coil.

Just kidding!

The nurse noted that sometimes teen-age girls experience the same aggravating skin eruption when they wear tight jeans and hip-hugging shorts.

If the button (or buckle on a belt) is crafted in "nickel", she added, there may be an allergic reaction.

Have the Chinese slammed us once again with unsafe consumer products?

Recently, I purchased a couple of pairs of designer jeans, so her theory was conceivable! (no pun intended!)

"I recommend that girls take a bit of nail polish and swipe a bit on the side of the button next to the skin to prevent the problem from resurfacing."

A bit of make-up left-over from West Hollywood's Carnival would do the trick!

Long-term, though, I expect it may be a wise idea to snap up fashion outfits with plastic or bone buttons at the waistline, eh?

Either way, I trust I won't be sporting an unsightly mini-bump in the glorious ab zone of my 178 lb. frame - and likewise - scaring off potential dates next time I slip buck naked into the shower stall at the gym.