Over the weekend I decided to check out a recent phenomenon on the theatre circuit, when I slipped quietly into an AMC outlet on Wilshire to catch the latest chapter of the ongoing vampire saga titled, "New Moon".
The 11 am screening cost me a paltry six bucks!
Once I made the rite of passage, I was then given free reign to choose a plush seat at my own whim, on the heels of snatching up my buttered popcorn and thirst-quenching coke from the gushing attendant at the concession stand.
By the time the lights were snuffed out, and the previews sprang to life on the wide silver screen, there were only about a half-a-dozen theatre-goers in the two-hundred-seat auditorium.
Given the dismal turn out at the early morning show, one might conceivably assume that the main attraction was going to be a dismal bomb, sure to fizzle out at the box office in days to come.
Wrong!
"New Moon", the third in the Twilight vampire-film series, broke all box-office records on Friday in the wake of its wide release around the country - due in part, to the fact - there were dozens of midnight screenings kicking-off the premiere on Thursday night (November 20th) prior to actual V-Day (Friday November 21st).
In fact, ticket-talliers ecstatically noted today amid screaming headlines, that Twilight's "New Moon" release attracted the third-highest opening in domestic box-office history.
Through the course of the weekend, ticket sales jumped to a whopping $140.7 million, with no end in sight!
Who are the leaders of the pack?
Only "The Dark Knight" and "Spider-Man 3" have topped out bigger at the box office in recent years (no doubt buttressed up by an avid fan base comprised largely of young adult males and comic-book aficiandos).
Whether I pen a positive or negative review will be neither here nor there, at this juncture!
Like the energizer bunny, ticket sales will continue to rev up, long after potetial contenders to the throne have packed it in at competing movie-houses 'round town.
Essentially, if you read between the plot lines,"New Moon" is basically the same old same old (a tale of teen angst set against a backdrop of breathtaking natural beauty in a revamped - no pun intended - scenario).
Uh-huh!
Not matter how you cut it - a dollop of passion, love, and emotion in the hearts of young pimply-faced adults - is sure to dredge up a lot of melodrama.
So, fasten your seatbelts, folks - 'cause it's going to be a bumpy night!
After all, the Twilight sequel has it all in spades.
In "New Moon", however, Bella - the young heroine - is not just torn between star-crossed lovers.
Gosh no!
Our femme fatale here is forced to choose between a vampire stud and a buffed young dude inclined to transform into a nasty snarling he-wolf once his ire is triggered a tad.
Say, aren't there any normal down-to-earth dudes to hook up with in the Pacific Northwest, these days?
Heady stuff!
When you get right down to it, the plotline is pretty thin, too.
Much ado about nothing (really!)
This time out, Summit Entertainment hedged its bets on a smattering of male ti*s & a**, to push the
"New Moon" soap (let's face it, that's what it is, albeit in a darker vein) over the top.
Judging from the ticket bonanza - and the buzz in social hubs on the internet - the gamble paid off.
In sum, it appears that the American theatre-going public is not put off by half-naked men strutting their stuff, either.
In fact - in this homoerotic action-adventure - the dudes strip buck naked more-often than their sexy (but chaste) "fully-clad" female counterparts.
The big New Moon "focus" was set squarely on the studly persona of a character by the name of Jacob.
For the greater part of the film, he strutted across the wild country terrain shirtless, looking for all-the-world like an au naturel soloflex advertisement.
Bella, usually a competent actress, was powerless in this episode of the saga - though - when it came to rising above the mediocre brainless material which was so poorly scripted it was downright laughable.
My favorite scene?
When Pattinson's character alights from a pricey SUV and smugly strolls slo-mo (a-la Babe-watch) across the schoolyard tarmac with locks of beautifully-tressed hair rippling in a slight breeze!
Unfortunately, Robert Pattinson's character - a big draw for the Twilight audience - was relegated to a camero role this time out.
Big mistake!
A few glimpses of his half-naked torso, ruby-red lipstick-swathered lips, and pancake-makeup smeared face, were not enough to satiate the longings of die-hard Twilight fans who had pined too long for this ceremonious screen event.
Was there a rush at the box office for refunds?
Doubters!
Fans will just sulk and dawdle a while longer 'til the next serial springs to life on the silver screen somewhere down the road.
After the success of this premiere, I'm betting the sequel (prequel?) will be sooner than later.
Meanwhile, I'm framing my ticket stub for posterity.
Who knows, maybe it will be worth a few greenbacks to a collector (aging housewife) in the future, eh?
Cullens bitten by Jacob plotline!
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