Michelle sprints to podium to snatch up Best-Dressed prize!
Busty congestion & hooker lips puts Oprah on worst-dressed!
Mr. Blackwel king of the haiku quip!
One fashion victim is a Cleopatra wanna-be - another - an awkward jumble of fetish and purity.
Without doubt, the out-of-step painted ladies, are worthy candidates for the much-anticipated 1st Annual 10 worst-dressed list of 2008.
On the flip side, there is a silver lining, though.
In contrast to the red-carpet disasters aforementioned, a bevy of beauties at the other end of a chic spectrum, trip-the-catwalk fantastically with elegance and style.
So, with a nod to Mr. Blackwell, I am introducing a scintillating 10 Best-Dressed list in tandem with a "worst"-dressed run-down on the flip side.
Mr. Blackwell – a celebrated fashion designer – passed to spirit earlier this year.
During the course of his rich full life - the mischievous man with the laughing eyes achieved wide acclaim in the arena of Women’s Wear - having dressed a handful of high-society patrons, Nancy Reagan among them.
But, it was a fluky offer that descended out-of-the-blue one fine day that forever cemented his name in exclusive fashion circles.
Rising to the task of naming the best and worst dressed women in America for a features editor, the visionary fashion icon scored a big hit with the media, fashion designers, and the public alike.
In the form of a Haiku barb, Blackwell managed to astutely capture the essence of a subject’s fashion savvy, and the caustic fashion quip was born.
Several weeks ago, after penning a post on Fashion Tips, I was singled out by a blogger on the Internet as "the next Mr. Blackwell”.
A former model (who segued into fashion writing) I jumped into the fray with glee, delighted to take on the challenge.
My column, Dressing Right, appeared in a daily (Southam News) in Vancouver (B.C.) and ably prepared me for the task at hand.
Although US, Star Magazine, and People recently singled out a gaggle of "best" and "worst" dressed femme fatales this past week at year’s end, there were a couple of problems with their assessments, in my opinion.
For starters, the editors focused the spotlight on expensive gowns worn at high-profile functions or red-carpet events that did not accurately reflect the star’s individual style or taste. Indeed, the extravagant rentals, were getting the big push by up-and-coming fashion designers anxious to get noticed in the glare of all the Hollywood Tinsel.
Notwithstanding, gowns they plucked up from relative obscurity (Gee, where have I heard that expression before) were if-y choices. Whoever selected the entries knew nothing about fashion.
Heidi Klum, for instance, was propped up in a self-indulgent number memorable for its vulgar overuse of fabric.
Secondly, swooping down on a celebrity out-of-the-blue – without any context or hint of a fashion history to refer to – is a definite no-no when it comes to determining an individual’s style and fashion savvy.
A "best"-dressed candidate’s placement on such a list cries out for a number of key factors to take into consideration – body shape, complexion, lifestyle, consistent displays of fashion sensibilities to-and-from work, picking up the kids at school, at Hollywood premieres, and so forth and so on.
With that in mind, I plunged ahead and rustled up right-on-the-money 10 Worst-dressed and 10 Best-dressed lists for 2008.
10 Worst-Dressed Women (2008)
Cher
(Vegas Songbird)
A Cleopatra wanna-be mummified in 70’s fashion formaldehyde.
Paris Hilton
(poor little rich girl)
A Swedish milk maid gone amok at Frederick's of Hollywood.
Lindsay Lohan
(Party Girl Extraordinaire)
A pasty fur tart with all-the-wild-eyed innocence of a "tina" junkie.
Stripped down, on the down low, a sleazy sexpot without any gams or glam!
Emma Thompson
(stand-out fashion crimes against the Nation)
An over-ripe ingénue wrapped in swirls of bargain-basement K-Mart sheets, prone to tease with hooter-style booby-traps up top.
Oprah Winfrey
(pictured above)
Gifted gabber with no talent for playing "dress up”
A puffy éclair cinched in at the cream-filled middle with a zesty crown of chocolate shavings on top, one day, a jilted bride dashing home barefoot to gorge on southern fried chicken, the next
Sigourney Weaver
(a gangly spaced-out melodrama)
In one red-carpet appearance, appeared for all-the-world like a beanstalk with peek-a-boo limbs.
The gutsy machine-gun toter, for the most part, is alien to any fashion sensibilities past present or future.
Whoopi Goldberg
(court Jester or clown Prince?)
A grand lady of comedy in a hefty bag – punctuated with off-the-wall ties and bland layers of lackluster fabric on a secret mission to conceal congealing fat folds, that lurk beneath a gruff surface.
Even a gown (?) on the mannish mannequin is a fashion victim disaster no matter how you cut the cloth.
Pamela Anderson
(VIP for the Tattoo set)
Never one to be upstaged by a feather boa, the sexy siren is a flesh pot top-heavy babe, with hints of Bridget Bardot in a disappearing garment act.
Barbara Streisand
(Golden pipes and snoz for schlock)
A bellowing shrew keen on political top notes, swaddling in cutesy little girl fantasies in an upbeat make-up mood one day, prone to end up languishing like a beached whale in the shifting sands of Malibu, on another.
Ellen DeGenerres
(page boy with snappy shoes!)
A throwback look which harkens back to the dykes of the sixties - sparked up with cool argyle sweaters, polyester slacks in bland shades, and snappy sensible shoes - crowned with a butch haircut sure to attract any lipstick lesbo.
10 Best-Dressed
Nicole Kidman
(cruising without Top Gun to lofty heights)
A risk-taker from down under, occasionally over the top, who is often prompted to venture into wild couture territory on the heels of some whimsical fashion trend she's uncovered.
Invariably, Kidman successfully carries off the exploratory probe with her own inimitable style.
Michelle Obama
(pictured above)
Though crowned Blackie "O" by cynical fashionistas, Obama's hubby is "no" Jackie Kennedy by any stretch of the fabric.
Comfortable in her fashion skin, individual in her style, the 1st Lady elect always manages to pull off a casual chic befitting a carefully-constructed image, sure to fall short of ever embarrassing any self-respecting American. (photo above)
Candis Cayne
(Dirty Sexy Money)
A statuesque swirl of sensual style - showy, sexy - sure to turn heads when she sashays into the room.
Ariana Huffington
(Queen of the Blogosphere)
A thoroughbred sensibility with a keen eye towards a practical business "look", Huffington can mix 'n match with the best of 'em - and in the process - light up the world of rich media, faces of mealy-mouthed moguls, and fawning bloggers around the net.
Kathleen Quinlan
(Never promised a rose garden)
Subtly attired in ensembles for a woman of a certain age, Kathleen is a shining example of how to highlight assets without maxing 'em out in designer duds too splashy for a specific occasion.
Kate Bosworth
(Stylish lady)
A beauty with brains.
A midas touch when it comes to pushing a fashion envelope that excites! tittilates! Wows!
A role model for starlets chomping at the bit in pursuit of elusive fame.
Elaine Wynn
(Queen of the Desert)
A down-to-earth fairy-tale Princess in charge of her tactile senses.
With a dollop of luxury, and a modicum of fashion savvy, Mrs. Wynn trots the jet-set gangplank with understated elegance, individual style, and with a poise that is unmatched on the Vegas strip (and elsewhere).
Penelope Cruz
(exotic gem!)
Petite, pretty, and radiating youth and vitality, Ms. Cruz likewise steps into a fashion sensibility daily that sets her apart from other talents reaching for the brass ring.
An exotic gem with the world at her feet.(and a posse of men, no doubt)
J Lo
(the other half of a fated duo)
A flowering fashion icon with a flair for the feminine, a flourish for fabric and color, the dishy dame matures every day like a fine bottle of wine!
Kim Kardashian
(a flair for adventure in fashion)
High-spirited clothes horse that packs a wallop in the charm department. With an intuitive fashion sense under her wing, Kim pushes the limits not only in an adventurous way, but with the ultimate aim of avoiding faddish threads that might otherwise tarnish her polished image
http://www.julianayrs.com/
*Men's Worst-dressed list unveiled February 1st!
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