Ford Mariner tire jack a piece of poorly-designed junk
This past weekend, I found out the hard way that a tire jack accessory that FORD designed for my SUV, is faulty and not worth sh**!
Around high noon on Friday last, after a festive few days in Sin City, I hopped onto the on-ramp and was homeward bound to the West Coast and the "Big Bad Orange" (or so I thought).
Suddenly, as I was breezing along with the flow of traffic about twenty miles out of the Desert Oasis, I felt my Ford Mariner pulling to the left a bit.
Coincidentally, an off-ramp for a parkway was just coming up on my right, so I scooted off the freeway and into an ARCO station to get a fix on the dilemma I was facing.
Just shy of the gas pumps, I slowly pulled up to a curb; then, trotted out to inspect the rear of the vehicle.
Damn!
A flat tire on my rear left tire was glaring back at me in the sweltering mid-day sun.
I was inclined to pull forward under one of ARCO's canopies (there was one overhang for each set of gas pumps strategically placed here-'n-there about the lot) to ensure I'd be in the shade when I began the arduous task of changing the wobbey-gone tire.
But, I surmised (rightly so) that if I did - the attendant at the gas station would end up being pi**ed at me - if I interfered with the flow of ARCO customers or got in their way.
Subsequently, I pulled off my T-shirt under a pastel blue sky, and began the task at hand with the sun mercilessly beating down on me.
With manual in hand, I began to go through the necessary steps, with the express hope that I would soon be trundling on down the busy highway home.
Within minutes, the first problem reared its ugly head, though.
The instruction booklet led me to believe that the jack for the spare-tire-maneuver was under the false bottom in the boot of the SUV.
However, after I spent about ten minutes extracting all my personal effects from the storage space in the back of the vehicle - and rustling up a little sweat in the process - it became apparent that was not the case.
Upon further inspection, I determined the nifty-looking little gadget, was neatly folded up cute as-a-button in a side panel under an upholstered camouflage.
Once I located the elusive little devil, a new problem arose, however.
The jack was so perfectly tucked away into the small crawl space, I had difficulty rescuing it from its hiding place!
At long last, after wrestling with it a bit, it sprung free.
However, another glitch tested my mettle for a second or two, before the spare tire removal was finally underway.
Yup!
Undoubtedly, I'd soon be rubbing my hands in glee.
After all, the mere thought of being able to change a tire on my lonesome - without the professional assistance of the Auto Club or an experienced Tow Truck driver with a hitch of his own - greatly appealed to me.
Drats!
Another little snafu ended up turning my plans asunder.
Unfortunately, after I slipped off the flat tire, I was unable to jack up the car high enough to align the spare with the lug-nut openings on the frame of the wheel!
Talk about screwed!
Now, I was sweating like a hog - a tad exasperated - and breathing kind of heavy.
In spite of the unexpected hurdle strewn across my path, I continued to tackle the dilemma head on.
Suddenly, a young woman (mid-30's) who had driven up out-of-the-blue with a man in tow (about the same age) and three rambunctious kids trailing behind, strolled over and offered her help.
"You need a better jack," she piped up matter-of-fact.
At this juncture, the petite blond opened the trunk of her own vehicle, and stridently tossed out the contents onto the pavement in a search of her tire-changing apparatus.
Once in hand, she stepped past me and started to crank away!
I turned to her male companion at the rear of their late-model auto and put a question to him straight off.
"Sir, is this woman your wife?"
"Yes, she is," he calmly replied.
"Dude, you are a very lucky man!"
"I know," he responded without hesitation as a wide grin spread across his face.
As he tended the children - who were getting downright restless (and obviously annoyed with me for interrupting their outing with their parents) - his wife and I applied a little elbow grease and a lot of her mechanical know-how to the task at hand.
Within ten minutes or so the two of us managed to raise up the Mariner to a height to effect the tire change with ease, or so we thunk!
But, it was not to be!
As much as we struggled to inch up the rear end a fraction or so for the necessary clearance, it was a no go.
Imagine that!
Her jack ended up being shy of what we needed to facilitate the change-over, too.
"Time to call Bob," she barked out.
With a flick of her wrist, the feisty little gal (pretty by the way) had her uncle on the cell promising to head over straight-away.
True to his word, the strapping dude - about 6' 3" - roared up in his 4X4 about five or six minutes later - at which point - the three of us commenced with a new plan of action.
Needless to say, the SUV was finally propped up to a level where the emergency tire could be slipped on without difficulty - and likewise - installed with little more fuss or muss.
Whew!
After utilizing three jacks during the course of a very sweaty exasperating hour, the SUV was up-and-running and ready to hit the mountain trail for the two-hundred-fifty-mile trek back home.
Once I was safely back in Los Angeles, though, I made a vow to dial up the Ford Motor Company and give those executives a piece of my mind!
Rightly so!
In retrospect, in view of the nightmare I went through that day, I have to seriously wonder if the engineers at Ford ever bothered to "test drive" their jack on the open highway by the side of the road in a mock-up of a "break down" scenario, for starters.
In view of my ghastly experience - evidently - not!
In spite of the fact I was parked on fresh pavement with a flat surface under the best of "road conditions", the car jack was unable to perform the function it was designed to do by engineers at Ford.
Imagine if I had been on the side of a four-lane highway trying to change the tire on loose uneven shoulder with cars whizzing by at top-notch speed.
What a traumatic experience that would have been!
In my estimation, FORD owes me a personal apology for subjecting me to that disturbing emotional ordeal, which arose by virtue of a poorly-designed product at Ford which plainly doesn't work.
But, bottom line?
FORD must recall that car jack immediately - or in the alternative - offer to replace the one installed in each Ford Mariner SUV with a better-designed one that has the capacity to facilitate tire-changing safely (and promptly) on the freeways and byways of America without fail.
Wouldn't you agree?
Maybe I should switch to an air jack?
http://www.julianayrs.com
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