Well, although I was too old (their opinion, not mine) to audition - and in spite of the fact I practised for weeks to break my stage fright on ego-stroking Karaoke nights - I have now found a way to slip my formidable warbling talents before the likes of Simon Cowell at American Idol.
Yup, the tweet came down from the Heavens like golden manna, the other morning.
American Idol is now following MOI on Twitter.
Do you suppose my sleeping buddy Adam Lambert (kidding!) put in a good word with Simon between the silky bed sheets (wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall in that scenario) or was it just the fickle finger of fate following God's precious pop-idol cookie-cutter plan?
No matter, not unlike wacky Lucy (who schemed ad nauseam to break into elusive show business under the watchful eye of Ricky's thick - um - Cuban accent) I've hatched a clever plan to connive my way onto American Idol - and ultimately - bring down the house!
Right, the men-in-blue chasing me around a packed house of Hollywood hopefuls with middle America watching from the sidelines in their armchairs at home, should be good for a hearty guffaw or two!
All kidding aside, I am truly flattered that the glitterati at top-rated Idol have deemed me worthy of a click or two, as I report on the dazzling Entertainment landscape here on the West Coast, around this great country, and beyond.
Of course, I am a fan of Idol, so it is a painless responsibility.
Moreover, it should be noted that I have even given the No. 1 Entertainment Show a glowing review or two in the past, so it is no skin off my back to be sure dudes!
Just last year I penned a post on "Idol Gives Back", which was well-received here and a-broad, according to globe-trotting socialite pal Dame Edna.
There's nothing like a bit of philanthropy to uplift a dude's heart.
Post: 04/10/08
http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2008/04/american-idol-gives-backalong-with.html
Meanwhile, if there are special promos, events (oh-so-chic high-society soirees?) that I should be duly informed about and invited to (hint! hint!) do - um - belt it out, eh?
Finally, a few parting words from a wise old musical Saint, worth paying heed to!
"If music be the food of life, then eat on."
Uh, did I get that quote right?
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