I laughed out loud when I read the caption for Susan King's feature in the Los Angeles Times for the Palm Springs International Film Festival.
"The world flocks to indie oasis."
Hardly.
If she thinks so, she's deluding herself.
To paraphrase Samuel Goldwyn:
"They'll probably stay away in droves."
Ms. King must have lost her artistic sensibilities.Either that - or she's on "the take" - maybe even friends with festival organizers and filmmakers screening their projects out in the boonies.
Come to think of it - in view of recent features she's penned - I'd have to conjecture she never had any worthwhile sensibilities to begin with.
Surely - she doesn't expect that on her "say so" - filmgoers are going to flock to the 9th Hole in Palm Springs to plunk down hard-earned cash for the piffle they're offering up in that cultural wasteland?
I expect that there is a self-serving motive behind King's gushing report.
Like the Richard Raddon /Los Angeles Film Festival fiasco - I expect a closer behind-the-scenes investigation just might ferret out Los Angeles Times newspaper ties to the annual event - politically, socially, financially.
Whatever!
After all, they're a scurrilous lot at the morning daily.
Ms. King started off by enticing readers with "Last Chance Harry" bait.
Ho Hum!
Dustin Hoffman's new release was premiered at the AFI Film Festival last month to tepid reviews.
And a scant few weeks later is - um - savoring less-than-full houses.
Who wants to drive down to P.S. to nibble at crumbs left-over from more prestigious film festivals around the country?
Unless up-close vistas of commercial buildings that hug a highway are your cup of tea - the ninety-minute trek down a bumpy two-lane highway sounds a tad pointless - don't you think?
Of course, if a fest enthusiast hankers for images of dizzying (!) tiers of highway overpasses (like those scraping the sky at the turnpike in San Bernardino) or getting their rocks off in truck-stop johns along the route- then, this jaunt is for you - Bud!
King proceeded to gush - like some infernal groupie or school-girl with a first crush - that the desert oasis horse & pony show was drawing "star" power this year.
Whoa nellie!
Excuse me, Ms. King, but the cast of "Revolutionary Road" doesn't fit the bill.
Isn't that little stinker languishing in movie houses currently and on its way to bombing big time?
Sean Penn, a draw?
Although many will concede Mr. Penn is a fine actor, I don't recall anyone ever chomping at the bit to catch a glimpse of him in person at a premiere, in the men's room, or acting naughty on the street.
If anything, the cautious are more inclined to avoid the man in person - and his political tirades - sure to put a blight on any upbeat social, cultural, or newsworthy event.
And - here's is a chance to catch a handful of indie films you won't encounter elsewhere on the circuit - she teases.
Frankly, my dear, the obscure ditties you referred to aren't of much interest to any discerning film buff.
In this instant case, in the event of a curiosity factor, I just betcha they'll wait until the celluloid oddities end up on their last legs at a $4 matinee screening at the Regency in West Hollywood.
King was also inclined to rave about a "Black Tie" gala event scheduled to kick off the festival first night.
Golly, nothing sounds more exciting than a function filled to the rafters with a gaggle of puffed-up Lounge Lizards in stuffy formal attire waxing incoherently about a medium they know nothing about.
Speaking of desert creatures, they left no stone unturned in this regard.
I expect that there is a self-serving motive behind King's gushing report.
Like the Richard Raddon /Los Angeles Film Festival fiasco - I expect a closer behind-the-scenes investigation just might ferret out Los Angeles Times newspaper ties to the annual event - politically, socially, financially.
Whatever!
After all, they're a scurrilous lot at the morning daily.
Ms. King started off by enticing readers with "Last Chance Harry" bait.
Ho Hum!
Dustin Hoffman's new release was premiered at the AFI Film Festival last month to tepid reviews.
And a scant few weeks later is - um - savoring less-than-full houses.
Who wants to drive down to P.S. to nibble at crumbs left-over from more prestigious film festivals around the country?
Unless up-close vistas of commercial buildings that hug a highway are your cup of tea - the ninety-minute trek down a bumpy two-lane highway sounds a tad pointless - don't you think?
Of course, if a fest enthusiast hankers for images of dizzying (!) tiers of highway overpasses (like those scraping the sky at the turnpike in San Bernardino) or getting their rocks off in truck-stop johns along the route- then, this jaunt is for you - Bud!
King proceeded to gush - like some infernal groupie or school-girl with a first crush - that the desert oasis horse & pony show was drawing "star" power this year.
Whoa nellie!Excuse me, Ms. King, but the cast of "Revolutionary Road" doesn't fit the bill.
Isn't that little stinker languishing in movie houses currently and on its way to bombing big time?
Sean Penn, a draw?
Although many will concede Mr. Penn is a fine actor, I don't recall anyone ever chomping at the bit to catch a glimpse of him in person at a premiere, in the men's room, or acting naughty on the street.
If anything, the cautious are more inclined to avoid the man in person - and his political tirades - sure to put a blight on any upbeat social, cultural, or newsworthy event.
And - here's is a chance to catch a handful of indie films you won't encounter elsewhere on the circuit - she teases.
Frankly, my dear, the obscure ditties you referred to aren't of much interest to any discerning film buff.
In this instant case, in the event of a curiosity factor, I just betcha they'll wait until the celluloid oddities end up on their last legs at a $4 matinee screening at the Regency in West Hollywood.
King was also inclined to rave about a "Black Tie" gala event scheduled to kick off the festival first night.
Golly, nothing sounds more exciting than a function filled to the rafters with a gaggle of puffed-up Lounge Lizards in stuffy formal attire waxing incoherently about a medium they know nothing about.
Speaking of desert creatures, they left no stone unturned in this regard.
King and the Festival folks - cross my heart - dragged out the ghost of Sonny Bono to hammer home the point that the festival erupted on the circuit initially with a smattering of glitz and glamour.
Why, an opening night celebration was once held at Bono's fancy digs, by golly!
Why, an opening night celebration was once held at Bono's fancy digs, by golly!
What happened???
Truth of the matter is, the venue is downright creaky.
Truth of the matter is, the venue is downright creaky.
Laid-back, Ms. King?
How about sleepy and out-of-touch?
I give it a two "liver-warted" thumbs down".
How about sleepy and out-of-touch?
I give it a two "liver-warted" thumbs down".
Dinosaur exhibit down the highway has more appeal!
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