At the end of last year, I stumbled across a paper-thin dog-eared copy of "The Great Gatsby", so I opened the front cover and plunged in for a second read.
Frankly, I forgot what a remarkable writer F. Scott Fitzgerald was!
So, when I took in a screening of the adaptation of a lesser-known literary work - "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" - I was saddened by the convoluted mess I witnessed up on the silver screen!
Granted, the early scenes which moved along at a fast clip, managed to hold the rapt audience (myself included) in their thrall.
And, why not?
After all, intriguing special effects convincingly transformed actor Brad Pitt from a fortyish-male in real life to a gnarly old man in the world of make-believe - and in the creative process - buoyed up the premise of a man moving backwards in time to a credible standard of excellence.
Even when a plot twist hurled Benjamin Button (Pitt) on a tug boat - to toil for a brief stint as a sailor - the project remained afloat at sea.
To some, a clandestine affair with the wife of a Diplomat (Tilda Swinton), may have been a little far-fetched; but, it didn't upset the apple cart in my estimation.
However, Swinton's part amounted to a throw-a-way role, which was annoying.
What a waste of stellar talent on screen!
When "Button" shifted forward and focused the lens on the character's middle years, illogical plot twists flabbergasted me.
Subsequently, the overly-long feature from Paramount & Warner - that a handful of lunatic critics are raving about - ended up all "holes" to me.
For example, although Benjamin was raised in humble surroundings and was an uneducated down-to-earth man - in a revved up second half of the screen oddity - a Brad Pitt fashion show shifted into high gear.
In spite of a lack of foundation, Button is suddenly captured on celluloid jaunting about the globe - by jet, luxury auto, and pristine cabin cruiser - all decked out in what smacks of top-of-the-line Gianni Versace suits and a supporting cast (wardrobe ensembles) that would dazzle even the jaded Duke of Windsor!
Superficial crap!
For a moment, I thought was settling into a shameless segment of a Sydney Sheldon mini-series.
Then, at the heart of the film, the plot zeroed in on a love affair - and subsequent live-in relationship - that Button plunged into with great abandon.
Here, mind-boggling conflicts reared their ugly head for the discerning film buff to ponder incredulous.
For starters, I thought the lead actress - Kate Blanchette - was terribly miscast.
Since the tale is supposed-to hinge on Button's fascination with a mystifying magnetic beauty from his long suffering past, you'd think that the producers would have cast an actress capable of exhibiting those precious qualities.
To me, Blanchett was little more than a cardboard cut-out of the Fitzgerald vision, with mechanical moving parts that propelled her everywhere but in the right direction.
Kate, the bloom is off the rose!
Shortly after a child is born out-of-wedlock, Button is prompted to exit the home life.
Fearing that when he "de"-ages, he'll end up a toddling burden to his mistress and a baffling oddity to the daughter he dotes on (now sprouting into a nubile young creature by-the-minute in the bumpy storyline) Button chooses to roam the high seas.
Ciao, baby!
Now, there are endless shots of Benjamin Button toiling at odd jobs, travelling the highways and byways of the known world, and - on occasion - dashing off the occasional picturesque postcard home."Sure wish I could have been there for your first recital," Button whined in one.
"Sorry, I missed the chance," he moaned in another.
What a load of piffle!
When Benjamin Button returned for a visit years later, his buffed bod and mental faculties were still intact.
At this juncture (it was obvious to me, anyway) that Button could have easily attended those first recitals or journeyed home to toast a number of birthdays - even celebrate a special family event or two - before the great "darkness" settled in.
The wanderlust years amounted to beef helper, if you catch my drift.
In the final analysis, the "Curious Case of Benjamin Button" is not a film for the intelligent filmgoer.
No, it's just a lot of eye-candy that ends up leaving a bad taste in the mouth after a - ho hum - predictable ending.
On a scale of 1-10 - 10 being best - Benjamin rates 3 button holes for the snappy designer suit.
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