Life is tweet!
Dave Letterman stepped out of the dark ages last night and crafted his first tweet!
A few seconds shy of the momentous event, the toothy talk show host - like a kid with a new toy (or an old letch with a hot new babe) - rambled off a handful of statistics with elation.
"Oprah gets three million tweets," he excitedly pointed out to his rapt audience.
PC savvy bandleader Paul Shaffer was inclined to toss in a comment from the sidelines at this juncture.
"Followers, Dave. Not tweets."
The scandal-ridden late show personality was a bit confused about the semantics of the ongoing twitter trends floating internet surfers' boats around the globe.
Amused, Dave corrected himself.
"And it says here," Dave interjected with glee, "that Ellen DeGeneres has four million."
There were some oohs and aahs from the audience
The audience howled.
Dave giggled for being so naughty.
Since Ellen and her fans follow moi, I'll tweet this little update on Dave, so they'll be sure to get their t**s all-a-twitter over the less-than-tweet comment Dave uttered at the witching hour last night.
Surprsingly, the Dave Letterman show could only boast a paltry three thousand "followers", according to Letterman, who was surprisingly mum on the Tiger Woods dilemma.
"That's because people don't know you tweet, Dave," Shaffer comforted him from his lofty perch on the sideliness off-stage.
Also, birds of a feathe, tweet together, I surmise (in private and away from the likes of facebook friends who press their ears close to the wall, I expect).
With a bit of fanfare, a staffer plunked a computer down in front of Dave, and strolled off.
"They've brought me this twitter machine so I can tweet," Dave mischievously pointed out to his die-hard fans hanging on every word.
"That's a lap top computer, Dave," the bandleader pointed out.
The virgin tweetie was a bundle of nervous energy and raring to boldly twitter where none of the Letterman clan had ever ventured tweetly before.
As Dave started to key in a word or two, Schaffer was about to interrupt again, when Dave shooed him off.
"Paul, please. I'm doing something here."
A second after he turned back to the keyboard, he whirled around - gazed into camera with a schoolboy's expression of joy and wonder on his face - and noted some important information to be mindful of.
"Oh, you can only use 140 characters, too. So, if there is an emergency or something, forget it."
Once Dave managed to key in a tweet, he was in a quandry about how to proceed.
"What now?"
A handfulf of knowledgeable tweeters in the studio instructed Dave to hit enter.
Once done, he was a bit perplexed.
"Well, did it go," he wondered aloud in so many words.
Apparently Dave failed to strike the update button, but - once done - the twitter newbie proudly learned his tantalizing message was "received".
What were the first words spoken - and sent whizzing across the blogosphere - at the twitter site?
"Do you smell fried peppers and veal?"
"I thought I smelled fried peppers and veal just as I was about to tweet," Dave dead-panned to the camera.
I expect there will be a few hilarious replies this morning from Dave's followers.
In fact, now that Dave is a celebrated twitter aficiando, I expect his number of follows will leap.
I just signed on "to follow" Dave for curiosity sake.
Just how good a speller do 'ya think Dave is, after all?
News at 11!
Dave doubles-up guests in chairs for maximum ratings potential!
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