Surprisingly, the one-hour Barbara Walter special opened with bodacious Pop Icon Lady Gaga,
Personally, I expected teasers throughout the night - crafted to entice fans to to remain transfixed in front of the old boob tube - in anticipation of an insightful reveal of the naughty chanteuse as promised by the undisputed Queen of insightful probes.
So, if you dashed in the front door a few minutes into the special - or sauntered out to walk the dog at the stroke of ten - you may have misssed an honor that Lady Gaga accorded the talk-show legend.
Shortly after being introduced, the platinum beauty (looking more Italian than ever) slipped off her ultra-chic dark sunglasses and confided that she rarely dropped that barrier for just any showbiz sucker.
Barbara was in top form last night - all decked out in a chic black cocktail dress which accentuated her trim toned physique- sparked up with an elegant necklace which begged closer inspection.
More importantly, Barbara WAWA didn't beat around the "bush".
No pun intended!
"It's been reported that you like women," Barbara started off slowly, as she tested the waters with Lady G.
Before the flavor of the month could respond, Barbara pounced with a second question, in a sort-of surprise sneak attack.
Have you had sex with women?
Were it not for the thick white pancake make-up, fans - for the first time ever - you may have actually caught the outrageous stage performer blushing!
For a moment, it appeared for all-the-world that she'd answer the ball*y query, too.
But, when the slightly-quirky pop star opened her sensuous lustily-painted lips to speak, for some inexplicable reason, a half-expected bona-fide no-holds-barred confession was not forthcoming.
Gosh, she appeared to utter from the depths of her soul, that's quite a personal question.
For a split second, the poker faced lady was anything but; in fact - in essence - the chart-topper was literally reduced to a shy awkward virgin reticent about - well - talking turkey!
A disappointment, when you consider that Gaga is usually the playful sex kitten on stage, flaunting her sensual brand of passion without any qualms or holding back.
"Yes, I am a homosexual."
Who knew!
On this newsbite, Barbara clearly caught the tail end of the comet.
Ho Hum!
Lambert didn't offer up any excuses for his controversial stage persona in recent days, but frankly, admitted he let his passions get the better of him (in an unrehearsed fly by-the-crotch adrenalin rush) on stage that fateful night at the American Music Awards - which ultimately - caused the swish-buckler to be banished from ABC airwaves.
"I wear my emotions on my sleeve," he confessed somewhat poignantly.
At the close of the interview, he had a message for American TV viewers (and critics).
"Deal with it."
Never to be caged in (or hankering to be too predictable) Barbara spun off in a new direction at this juncture and focused for a brief duration on the sports arena.
Brett Favre's flip-flopping football career was great fodder (and thus) established in the eyes of Barbara that he was not only a candidate for "hero and myth-maker" but ripe for the title of one of most fascinating (10) people of the year.
After all, the stud's unique brand of rise and fall theatrics (on and off the gridiron) was the stuff that legends are made of.
When Barbara announced an upcoming spot with Sarah Palin, an announcer noted that the most-fascinating individual would follow after the spot with the perky politician.
Ah, the suspense was over; obviously, Sarah Palin was not going to be "the" most fascinating person of 2009 (just one of ten singled out by the veteran newsie).
I admit, Palin is the most intriguing gun-toter, polar-bear killer, and in-law hater.
But, one of the ten most fascinating?
Poppycock!
In the somewhat low-key segment, Barbara asked point blank if Sarah wanted to be President.
Her reply was a tad evasive.
Fresh from commerical break,the upstart from the great white north, admitted she didn't know why people found her fascinating.
Say what?
Do they?
If you ask me, most of the celebrated dung was being flung from her party.
In response to a query about Dave Letterman, she was hard-nosed and to the point.
"He's a sexist," she retorted without batting a pretty eyelash.
T*t for tat, eh?
Her life was "kind-of a reality-show", she sighed.
When asked what most she'd like to change about herself, her answer was swift.
"To be more patient," for starters.
What does she dislike most about her appearance?
Bearing five children tooks its toll, she admitted, so the old bod suffered some fall-out.
"Don't make me go into details."
Palin's idea of a perfect day goes something like this:
Snow is falling on the ground, it's a wonderful beautiful Alaskan day, and all family members are at home and enjoying each other's company.
Except for Levi Johnston, of course!
Talk about squeaky-clean bull-crap!
Time to move on, wouldn't 'ya say?
Michael Jackson was singled out in the top ten, too, in spite of his untimely demise.
Instead of focusing on the pop star and his music, Barbara chose to focus on his adorable kids, his conscientious efforts to provide a good home, protect the children from prying eyes of the media, and be a good father (in spite of the storms raging on outside of the family compound).
In that segment, Ms. Walters closed with one stinging criticism from Michael (which appeared to come straight from the grave).
"I didn't like being called wacko-Jacko!"
The well-thought-out top ten list also included a talk show host notorious for being outspoken and expressing unpopular views.
A governor's wife was also applauded for the way she handled her husband's indiscretions.
And, the intriguing list would not have been complete without an actor in tow.
Yawn!
Finally, the big moment arrived.
The most fascinating person, in the final analysis, appeared to have been catapulted into her heady status by virtue of her muscular eye-catching arms alone!
Any ideas?
Yessir!
The prestigious title was bestowed on the 1st Lady, Michelle Obama - who, by Walters' accounts - was shaping up to be so much more than the sum of her toned body parts.
When asked to describe the past year of her life, the Mrs. Obama was quick on the uptake, in a refreshing on-camera moment which was not unlike a breath of fresh air.
"It's been a whirlwind. I visited eight countries, planted a garden, got a dog, and now getting ready for the first Christmas in the White House."
But, there had been humanitarian accommplishments, too.
"We began to lay a foundation for the health of kid in this countrys. One in three children, you know, are obese. African-American children suffer most from this problem, with hispanic children right behind."
Now, Barbara wanted to talk about the famous Michelle Obama arms.
Could they?
"Certainly."
"Do you feel pressured about keeping them up," Barbara amusingly quizzed in so many words.
Michelle prefaced this part of the conversation by noting that - In spite of her hectic schedule - her personal routine hadn't changed much.
The busy homemaker started to work out and get in tip-top shape after Maria was born, in fact.
"It was a bit of revenge because Barack always found time to stay in shape and go to the gym. I was resentful of that."
One day, it all fell into place, she explained to Barbara just like that.
"At four o'clock, I would get up to feed the baby. So, I thought, I may as well go to the gym."
Instinctively, Michelle also knew that if she wasn't there at the house, her hubby would get up and feed the baby in her absence.
"The arms took a lot of determination," she asserted, in a last-ditch effort to square away the details.
By the way, Mrs. Obama looked stunning!
A coral-colored gown - which draped off one shoulder with a understated (but elegant) fashion flourish - suited her pretty looks.
A swept up "do" - somewhat reminiscent of the Victorian era - highlighted and drew attention to her distinctive facial features - in particular -a prominent forehead, high cheekbones, and strong (determined) jaw.
Kudos!
The 1st lady noted - when asked - that her downfall tended to be inherent in the realms of poor food-based habits and low-brow TV programs.
Heaven, to Michelle, is an hour of quiet time - with the dog in her lap - reflecting on life (and day-to-day matters).
In spite of the fact Michelle has resided in the White House for almost a year, the happily-married mom still marvels at the sumptuous White House environs.
Bascially, she feels blessed, when the limo purrs up the front drive of the beautiful home, and the staff greet her with two heartfelt words:
"Welcome home."
At times, just betcha, Michelle pinches herself to fathom if it's all a surreal dream.
In sum, the President's wife was charming, eloquent, and projected a classy image.
Ah, a 1st lady all American should be proud of, right?
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