Oprah Winfrey...shows off butt crack curbside! Honorary Oscar has noses out-of-whack!

Quite a few noses got out-of-whack earlier today when it was announced by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences that the Queen of afternoon schlock - um - talk is going to be given the nod with an Honorary Oscar!

As Barbra Streisand would say:
"Hello gorgeous!"

But, not so fast.  Do a posse of power-players in Tinseltown have the clout to nix the prestigious outfit's unprecedented favoritism?

Meanwhile, I'm still chuckling over all the exposure (!) Big "O" unexpectedly snatched up from the jaws of fate at a chic dinner party night-before-last with the former Governor's wife and handsome teen son in tow (on the mend, by the way).

Once the celebrated trio alighted from the chi chi eatery, the paparazzi immediately began to swarm every which way but loose, as they jockeyed for a perch.

As it turns out, the posse of photogs was Oprah's undoing, alright.

Wouldn't you know it?

For example, when the hefty talk-show Diva bent over to scramble inside the purring limo at the curb (albeit in a cumbersome fashion) a tabloid gossip monger nabbed a revealing shot of Ms. Oprah's butt-crack!

It reminded me of a joke I used to tell when I was a kid (which always got a big laugh, by the way).

You know what I'd buy if I had a million bucks?

A new ass 'cause mine is cracked!

Although mine is a tidy butt, Ms. Winfrey has enough bucks for a truckload of fill, if needed!

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Piers Morgan...John Boehner (boner) debt crisis quote of day!

It is not often that I respond with a big guffaw when a TV personality makes an off-handed quip on the old boob tube.

But, I literally cracked up last evening when Piers Morgan (who I normally can't stand; after all, he's usually all-over every B-list celeb like flies-on-shit) gave his assessment of Congressman John Boehner's (boner) proposed budget bill which was sinking fast into the sunset.

"He has two hopes.  No hope.  And, Bob Hope."

Ouch!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Color of Boehner's tie always signals mood!

38th Annual Daytime Emmys...Ho Hum telecast! Bold & Beautiful Best Soap! Ellen gets talk-show nod!

 

Fans of daytime TV coughed up $525.00 a ticket to mix-and-mingle with celebrated guests, B-list actors beamed on the red carpet, and Network Brass nervously stood on the sidelines waiting for the winners to be announced.

Although the 38th Annual Emmy Awards Show was tossed in an exotic locale in the desert oasis at the tony Hilton Hotel, they didn't really take advantage of it.

In sum, the broadcast was pretty pedestrian with few jolts or surprises.

No wonder!

After all, the daytime bill-of-fare on the old boob tube - endless talk, soap operas, and a multitude of mindless game shows - represent the "industry" side of the business.

A posse of workers routinley rise at the crack-of-dawn., head to the studio around six or seven as the sun is rising in the east, then - turn-out a few taped shows like clock-work - before they head home for dinner during the family hour.

Notwithstanding, a current transformation in the entertainment business has resulted in the cancellation of a handful of shows (long-running once-popular soaps, Oprah Winfrey, you name it), which has forced the suits to re-evaluate the tastes (and habits) of the American viewing audience.

Ronn Moss (an actor who plays "Ridge" on the Bold & Beautiful) theorized that one day the sizzling daytime pot-boilers (with plot lines that move along at a snail's pace) will be broadcast on the Internet.

Something tells me that sophisticated web-surfers (who populate the blogosphere) may not be interested in the fluff that the major networks are inclined to offer up though.

By the way, the "Bold & Beautiful" got the nod for the "Best Soap".

Grrrrr!

Years ago, when the serial first started up, I appeared on the show in a cameo role.

Of all the soaps I ever worked on (General Hospital, Young & Restless, Days of Our Lives) the cast of B &

Mr. Moss had a big ego (and acted like he owned the show) while Susan Flannery had the tendency to throw her weight around which was (and still is!) considerable.

By the way, the industry was inclined to sing the praises of Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek (two game-show hosts who have survived the axe over the years) and honor both with Lifetime Achievement Awards.

Deserving!

Of course, there was a loving tribute to Big "O" (Oprah Winfrey) on the heels of her departure from daytime Network TV.

In fact, the organizers of the event conjured up a spanking-new award-category to specially honor her.

The presenters gushed - so much so - that it ended up being way over-the-top.

Gladys Knight's parting song to Oprah was a disaster, too.

I didn't think it was possible for the legendary DIVA to bomb, but she did last night.

On occasion, Knight warbled off-key, gasped for breath, and strained to hit the high notes (which she missed more-often-than-not).

In contrast, Celine Dion sang one of Oprah's favorite hits beautifully.

At one point, when Susan Lucci sauntered up onto the stage, the host was inclined to take pokes at her character Erika Kane.

"You know, Erika was actually married eleven times, not eight," he joked.

"In fact, she played both sides of the fence," he quipped - at which point - a clip of Erika Kane marching down the aisle with Ellen DeGeneres sprang to life on the screen.

The audience roared.

By the way, the Ellen DeGeneres show won in the best talk show category this year.

Congrats, Ellen!

Unfortunately, Wayne Brady (a game-show host locally) failed to make the grade in his capacity as Master of Ceremonies.

Well, I'll put it this way.

Brady is no Neil Patrick Harris!

'Til next year!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Posse of Soap Hunks attended Emmy Awards in glitzy Vegas!




 

Oh Land...debuts on Dave Letterman! A smash performance!

A few weeks ago, I caught a live! performance of Oh Land - a Pop Singer who hails from Denmark - at the Abbey in West Hollywood and was knocked out.

Needless to say, I posted a rave review!

Post:  02/04/2011

http://ijulian.blogspotlandlive-performance-abbey-hit-with.html

Once again, life proved to be synchronistic in nature.

I was casually channel-surfing last night, when I landed on Dave Letterman just as he was introducing the pretty pop star in her debut performance on Network Television in the U.S.

The pop beauty unveiled her new single - "Son of a Gun" - to the enthusiastic audience.

No doubt - the smash bang-up set - will trigger her musical career into the stratosphere in coming months.

Congrats, Oh Land!

Love 'ya.

http://www.thetattler.biz



Dave scoops up talent true to form!

Portia De Rossi...changes name to DeGeneres! The female in the relationship?

Portia de Rossi allegedly applied to legally have her identity reflect that she is betrothed to a partner.

Ellen DeGeneres' mate wants to go all the way - and change her name - to reflect her same-sex marital status with the perky talk show host.

Once the paperwork has been processed, Portia de Rossi will officially become known legally as Portia Lee James DeGeneres.

De Rossi's petition was filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court last Friday, according to court sources.

In the application, the legal document notes for the record, that the "Petitioner" (De Rossi) is taking the name of her spouse.

Previously, De Rossi changed her birth name to De Rossi when she first became an actress pursuing a career in Hollwood.

Actors tend to change their name in the event a member of the Screen Actors Guild already has a similar name to avoid confusion, or because the one given at birth by parents, is cumbersome to spell or not appropriate for an actor's image on stage or in the realm of TV or film.

Archibald Leach, for example, later became Cary Grant.

The couple started dating in December 2004, and officially married at the their Beverly Hills estate on August 16 (2008), in a full-dress chi-chi ceremony which was attended by the Who's Who of the Hollywood elite.

Ellen excitedly gushed in interviews that when she and De Rossi became hitched she was elated.

"I couldn't  believe this beautiful woman was interested in me at this age," she giggled in so many words to a reporter at a night-time tabloid news show.

Since Portia is taking Ellen's surname, some wonder if this is an indication that "Ellen" is the man in the relationship.

Would that make Portia a lipstick lesbian?

Inquiring minds want to know!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Oprah Winfrey...Dad pleads with Big "O" to call him! Heartless bit**...

Baggie eyes verify Oprah's guilt-ridden sleepless nights!

Shortly after Kitty Kelley mentioned on talk shows this past week, that she undercovered the identity of Oprah's "true" father, the media hounds were off-and-running!

Who was the mysterious man that Oprah was allegedly denying the existence of?

And, why would Oprah - who touts herself as a decent caring human being  (?) - shut the man out on his death bed?

Talk about heartless bit**!

Norh Robinson, an impoverished elderly gent, resides in a humble VA hospital in dirt-poor Mississippi.

When interviewed this past week in person, Robinson said he dreams of speaking just once with Big "O"  (my affective term for the gorilla-sized  talk-show host inclined to throw her considerable weight around much to chagrin of people with a modicum of class) as father and daughter.

Her dad - who she was separated from as a young child before her carefree wild days where play-for-pay helped Oprah pay the rent in the "hood"  (according to Kelley) - confided that Oprah has never even given him the courtesy of a reply.

What a phony, when you consider Ms. Winfrey's " holier than thou" attitude on her puffy talk show, all these years.

Mr. Robinson even agreed to a paternity test to establish the truth.

In sum, it appears that the lusty rotund one is afraid that skeletons in the closet may pop out of the past to haunt her, I expect.

Mr. Robinson fondly recalled that he met Oprah's mom when they worked in the same part of town of Kosciusko.  In fact, the pleasant out-going man gave her mother rides to and from work when she could ill afford to make the trek on her own.

Some thanks, Oprah!

Oprah's real-life Dad was upbeat and cheerful at the end of the interview in spite of Oprah's snub.

"She's taken after her daddy," he said.

"I was a handsome man growing up at the time."

I guess if it wasn't for all the junk food Ms. Winfrey shoves in her mouth daily, she might not be half-bad to gaze upon either.

They say you get the face you deserve at 50.

Oprah's is a roadmap to hell, alright.

http://www.thetattler.biz

Twitter...Jimmy Fallon & guest chat about glitches! Celebrity identity theft...

Did you get that tweet, baby?

Last night, talk show host - Jimmy Fallon - and a guest were griping about glitches at Twitter which were a little unsettling.

What a relief to hear that I am not the only individual in the limelight who has encountered difficulties with respect to logging in, being recognized by the system, getting feedback from technical staff at Twitter, and so forth and so on.

Fallon's guest expressed frustration over the fact that if you're a celebrity - you can't just sign up and tweet up a storm - without getting a shake-down from Twitter staff first.

For instance, well-known actors have to go through a verification process.

Twitter will field various questions, and likewise - engage in a few histrionics to determine "you are who you say are" - for starters.

After all, what is to stop a wicked identity thief from suddenly jumping on the social hub, and misleading fellow tweet afficiandos into believing they are Johnny Depp, let's say.

There have to be some security measures in place, for sure.

A few  months ago, when I casually mentioned in the course of a conversation that Shannon Tweed was following me on Twitter, a friend quipped without hestitation.

"How do you know that it's really her?"

"Well," I fumbled for words, "It is."


I hestitated for a moment, then found myself snapping back to "he of little faith".

"Twitter wouldn't let that happen."

Would they?

In addition, Fallon and his guest, grumbled that even though they provided the right information in the "verification process", the problem was not resolved right away.

"My verification was denied," the actor snorted in disgust.

I feel their twitter pain!

One day, after I posted a tweet about a tribute to Johnny Cash on Facebook, I got locked out!

Every time I attempted to log in, a dialogue box popped up requesting that I try again.

After several failed log-in attempts, I finally tried the old twitter - "retrieve password" - function.

But, to no avail.

Each time I clicked on the link they provided in an e-mail - inputted a new secret password and attempted to log in - I was denied access.

At this juncture, I zipped off an e-mail to twitter and quizzed the technical staff.

"What gives?"

After about two days, the support team responded, and confirmed that somewhat was WRONG!

However, days passed, and no action was taken to alleviate the problem.

A follow-up e-mail failed to rustle up any response (or respect).
So, for about two weeks, I was unable to tweet!

Followers must have thought I dropped off the face of the earth or grown weary of twitter-ville!

Then, this past week, I thought I'd give the log-in the old college try!

Eureka, the magic twitter portal opened magically without explanation, and I was busy happily tweeting away once again!

Perplexing, eh?

Uh-huh!

Life is not always that tweet @ twitter.

Yoko 1st Celebrity to follow me on Twitter!

(or was she?)

http://www.thetattler.biz

Bill O'Reilly...Factor host hails Tom Hanks a pin head! Pundits don't escape wrath...

Pin Head slight of day!

The other evening Fox's O'Reilly was quite adamant that Tom Hanks was a pin head.

Gosh, I've been wising folks up about the fact that life with the "Big" star is not a box of chocolates, whenever the puffy-looking dork takes the stage.

Frankly, Bill O'Reilly's jibes are more searing when he zeroes in on pundits he invites on the show to spout off about subjects they have failed to research or know little about.

O'Reilly doesn't take any prisoners in that regard.

Nope, without hesitation, he goes in for the kill.

For example, when an alleged female "analyst" appeared to discuss the pro's and con's of Barack Obama's Health Reform plan the other night, she goofed big time.

And, O'Reilly was there to jump on the gaffe, much to her chagrin.

When asked what were "three positive aspects" of the Health reform plan currently on tap, the twit stridently asserted that everyone would be forced to select a health plan.

What a ludicrous notion.

"It won't fly," O'Reilly stated matter-of-fact in so many words.

Oh it will, it will, she insisted as she arrogantly tossed back her head.

"It won't," he quipped, "because we have a U.S. Constitution."

The dizzy broad still didn't get it (and argued the point further to her detriment).

O'Reilly tried to explain that the government (even insurance companies) couldn't force people to buy a health plan (or participate in one).

In a nutshell, the whole concept was un-American, after all.

To save face, she quickly grappled with the dilemma, then offered up an off-point alternative.

"Well, they can't be denied insurance based on pre-exisitng medical conditions, then."

Typical of a handful of these big-mouthed "know-it-alls" - the dragon lady - was clueless.

The issues she was struggling to address, amounted to "oranges" and "apples", for heaven's sake.

Other guests faired just as poorly under the glare of O'Reilly's insightful spotlight.

Say what you will about O'Reilly, but the man has ba**s.

Tthat's why he's the King of the heap when it comes to getting to the nitty-gritty in the hardball realm of  dirty politics.

http://www.thetattler.biz

Ellen DeGeneres...hot men swagger by show! Dennis Quaid, the Bachelor, Colin Firth...

Was it just a coincidence that throughout the upcoming week Ellen has slated a bevy of buffed studs to guest on her highly-rated afternoon talk fest?

Or, just maybe, the perky hostess-with-the-mostest has jumped ship!

For viewers who are into a little eye-candy in the afteroon, I gather there will be ratings leap at the network, that should  have the suits rubbing their hands with glee.

On Monday, Ellen has invited " Bachelor" Jake Pavelka, to grace the hot seat.

Just betcha, that scandals revving up this season, will be titillating fodder for viewers at home to sink their teeth into.

Same afternoon, country super star - KEITH URBAN - is slated to gab  about his four deserving Grammy nominations.

Can the persuasive little tease convince Keith to pluck on his guitar for her appreciative audience?

Tune in and find out!

On Tuesday, an average guy will be applauded for risking his life to save an elderly woman, who was accidentally pushed off a platform at a train station.

He'll get a hero's welcome, 'fer sure!

And, Justin Timberlake's musical find - Matt Morris - will discuss the  recording contract he just signed with the Pop Icon's label.

But, I expect die-hard Justin Timberlake fans will surf over to Ellen, for one fantastic reason only!

Why,  to catch the sexy crooner snuggling up to Ellen, of course!

Dennis Quaid, known for having the best abs in the business, swaggers in on Wednesday (amid a flurry of frenzied wolf whistles and cat-calls).


The handsome actor will share productions notes on his upcoming feature "Legion".

Colin Firth, riding high on great reviews for his stellar portrayal of the "Single Man" (mine included) strides in on Thursday to bask in the glow.

If the glare of the spotlight turns him to booze and drugs, by golly, I expect he could pull aside the doc from the popular hit - "Celeb Rehab" - for some theapeutic advice (appearing that day, too).

The week closes out with Sean Hayes (Friday).

Since the talented actor (known to play gay characters to the hilarious hilt) hasn't been on the show in four years, you can bet your sweet bippy he'll be updating Ellen with every salacious tidbit.

As they say at Warner Brothers:

That' all folks!

www.julianayrs.com

Jay Leno...Comics tar & feather NBC's strutting peacock...

Will Leno take it on the chin?

Well, if Jay Leno was sprawling on the couch last night - snacking on natchos and flipping channels to rustle up a bit of material for this weeks run of "show" of "shows" - it was probably a tough row to hoe.

No wonder!

All over the night-time TV talk-show terrrain, the slack-jawed comic's contemporaries were tar-and-feathering the peacock network's top dawg!

Dave Letterman lit into him, for example, without mercy.

In a monologue called - "Law & Order: Leno's Victim's Unit" - he lumped the whole sorry cast of late-night comics together (Conan, Fallon & Carson Daly) and branded 'em Leno's victims.

Ouch!

Then, Dave drummed up a hilarious impression of the beleaguered comic - which was pretty darn impressive - according to most side-splitting accounts.

"They just want Conan to quit and go away and do a show in his basement," he later huffed.

Jimmy Kimmel - tossed on a "do" and in-your-face chin - and spiced up the schtik with an acid quip or two.

Will Leno take a swipe back tonight - or, be a goodie-two-shoes - and take it on the jaw?

News at - um - 10!

Contrary to popular belief Dave & Conan not one in the same person!

(just joined at the hip)

http://www.julianayrs.com

Chelsea Handler...bi**ch fight with Paris! No class dish-water blond...

Skanky, baby!

In a recent interview Chelsea Handler - of  E! Entertainment infamy - hissed that celebrities were dumb plain and simple because they didn't know she said bad things about them.

Ms. Handler appears to be under the mistaken impression that the sun rises and sets on her ugly mug!

Not!

According to the dizzy dish-water blond - Paris Hilton, in particular - has taken leave of  her senses.

"She comes up to me and tells me how much she loves my show," the B-list talk-show hostess chided with a grimmace on her tarted-up face, in a one-on-one interview with Style Magazine.

"And,  I'm like, uou can't love my show if you can hear."

Meow!

Just betcha, not one nasty quip slipped by the intelligent young heiress, from the get-go.

Instead of  flying into a rage and instigating a bit"" fight, though, Paris chose to take the high road instead.

Indeed!

When Hilton offered up the compliment on a silver platter, it was obviously her intention to smother Handler with kindness.

When push came to shove, the lady showed a little class - unlike the green-eyed monster - 'ya  know?

Notwithstanding, according to Joan Rivers, Chelsea is simply "not funny".

Ouch!

The last laugh

http://www.julianayrs.com

Tyra Banks...talks turkey with one of my advertisers! Skin care & healthy habits, for all...

A placenta face cream manufactured by one of my local advertisers (EMK of Beverly Hills) will be featured on a segment of  the Tyra Banks Show (Friday September 11th).

In this entertaining (but highly informative) installment, Tyra divulges the healthy new lifestyle that helped her lose weight and completely change her life.

Plus, she reveals her secret weight loss weapon!

Tyra also plays a game with the audience called:

“Guess My Age: Plastic Surgery Edition”

In addition, to sharing a handful of practical common health tips (viewers may try at home), the outgoing talk-show hostess (with the mostest) will focus on the lastest trends in skin care treatment such placenta wrinkle cream, snake venom, and the latest figure fixers!

Tune in! Get a new lease (and face) on life like Tyra did!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Larry King..tries to trap Depak Chopra and place blame for Michael Jackson tragedy!

It should have been obvious to the keen observer last night that Larry King was clearly laying a trap for the New Age self-proclaimed Guru - Depak Chopra - or at a minimum was pining to toss a little of the blame for Michael Jackson 's untimely demise in his direction.

Was Depak one of the much-scorned inner circle enablers responsible for Michael Jackson's death now shrouded with mystery and intrigue?

According to Depak?

No.

The soft-spoken articulate man was inclined to offer up a handful of scenarios for the viewing audience to digest.

In one instance - when Depak mentioned that children who were abused were often susceptible to various disorders in their adult years - King was quick to interrupt and underscore that a news report released earlier that day stressed there was no evidence supporting that theory or line of thinking.

Ah, King was obviously laying in wait for unsuspecting Chopra!

Without doubt, the scandal-chasing talk-show host tried to seize the moment to discredit Depak on the air, without fair warning.

But, the Spiritual leader was quick on his feet and managed to out-fox the mouthy late-night talkpiece with the penchant for loud tasteless ties!

In fact, Depak not only adeptly sidestepped King's deceitful maneuvers, but managed to score points when he proceeded to clarify for the record that one respected journal just published an article on the issue in support of the theory based on a research project conducted with a handful of qualified subjects.

Without skipping a beat, King pounced.

"Are you saying they're wrong?"

"They're obviously not up on the literature," the best-selling author responded coolly.

Obviously miffed at failing to snare his prey, King sprang into the attack mode on a different front to save face.

"Some say (he didn't specify who) that you tarnished Michael's reputation," he retorted with an accusing tone in his voice.

In his defense, Depak noted in so many words that he simply refused to gloss over the facts.

Depak admitted on air last night, for example, that on occasion he spied an IV Drip in Jackson's bedroom.

In addition, he also witnessed the presence of pharmaceutical paraphernalia out-of-place in a home environment setting without medical supervision.

Michael knew that Depak had a license to write prescriptions for narcotics and tried to trade off of their friendship for access to drugs he felt he needed to alleviate his pain, according to Chopra.

"I refused to write the prescriptions, " Depak noted for the record without blinking an eye.

"Did Michael get angry?" King probed further.

"Yes."

On the heels of this admission, Depak added that Michael was quite a manipulative individual.

And, he added as an afterthought, Michael was difficult to refuse, on occasion.

"That is the problem with celebrity. Doctors are afraid to say no."

The sentiment echoed those expressed by a Jackson attorney on a talk show earlier.

"Michael begged me. He said - 'that machine runs the business' - so, I have to have it," the lawyer fessed up to the interviewer.

Based on that curious argument, the Pop Icon also demanded a doctor be hired 24/7 to administer the drugs at his home at his whim.

So, the handler complied with the request.

In the final analysis, Depak Chopra - in spite of what Larry King may think - is an honest individual who meant well.

In fact, Chopra is exalted in some quarters for a spiritual slant on the natural order of things, which some find quite insightful.

The truth of the matter?

In essence, his new age musings are just watered-down interpretations of the teachings of wise old masters, presented in a palpable new way.

Sadly, his quick-fix solutions were too flimsy to provide a lifeline for Jackson.

Clearly, it was the fault of handlers - business associates, superficial friends, doctors (even Jackson family members afraid to engage in tough love for fear of losing favor with Michael who held the purse strings) - that are responsible for his death.

In due time, the truth shall be revealed.

http://www.julianayrs.com

Ellen DeGeneres...Twitter Escape! Between tweets, perky talk-show host whipped up a fun-filled fan-packed cruise!

The morning started off quietly.

Not one peep from Ellen (DeGeneres) on the Twitter landscape.

Had she attended a screening of "Hangover", and ended up with one, or was she simply laying low before the curtain went up on her daily talk show?

Suddenly, about mid-afternoon, the perky blond with the infectious grin, breezed onto the Twitter site brimming with a handful of novel ideas for a whimsical holiday Ellen-style.

How about a cruise, she excitedly queried her fans online.

"Yes, " I quipped.

"If the buffet doesn't give us the trots and we loll about in some exotic locale," I added with glee.

On the heels of this brainstorm, Ellen tossed in another teaser.

"How about poker? Last man standing?"

I chuckled out loud.

After pointing out that I was graced with a great poker face (!) I joked that the bosses in Las Vegas also welcomed "whales" to sin city.

Imagine that, Ellen was quick on the uptake.

After conferring with her loyal assistant toiling on the sidelines off-screen, she surprised us all with her flexible no-holds-barred approach to the smorgasbord of choices before us.

"We can do both! A whaling cruise one day. A poker night the next."

The twitter site was all abuzz now.

Indeed, the walls had ears, too.

An alert from Twitter informed me that Texas Hold 'em was now following moi!

And, shortly thereafter, Poker Mom jumped on board, as well.

Meanwhile, Ellen issued a turning-point "tweet".

"We'll call it the Twitter Escape."

After that, the details just started to fall into place.

When to set sail - Ellen wondered express tweet to her fans - July or August?

While I would have liked the outing sooner, an August date was stamped on the itinerary.

After all, that calendar month gelled best with the schedules of all pining for the relaxing get-a-way with their Clown Princess, Ellen.

Fifty EllenFans was a cozy cut-off number for the cruise, all agreed.

Meanwhile, the entertaining banter continued on in an upbeat, entertaining fashion.

Gosh, I don't recall ever having so much amusing interplay with folks on twitter, since I joined a scant few moons ago.

From the get-go, it was obvious that charismatic Ellen was not only a great party-planner, but one to jump in and roll-up her sleeves to get the task done, when the occasion required it.

Around 5 pm when I was forced to log off to honor a prior social obligation, I half-expected that by the end of the business day, EllenFans would wrap for a day or so until the stardust settled a tad.

No, Sir!

When I perused my e-mail late this evening I spied a direct message from EllenFans regarding the much-anticipated outing with Ellen and her adoring flock mid-summer.

Ellen's sidekicks were busy firming up guests for the cruise, securing contact information, and moving full steam ahead.

At the Ellen Show site, fans signing up for the magical cruise that Ellen plans to officially helm, were already gushing about the Twitter Escape.

One staffer was inclined to note for the record:

"Of course there will B dancing @ The Ellen Fans Twiter Escape Aug 21 - 23rd. Someone will be crowned Dancing Queen! or King! R U That Person?"

Who, moi?

Do I look like the type?

Okay! Nuff said, Ellen.

Another excited Ellen cruiser offered up some useful info on the whaling expedition.

"This region is a feeding ground for 13 species of whales, amongst which, the blue whale, the most imposing animal on Earth."

Will there be video?

Ellen's response:

"Yes of course we will film a video of it. That's a GIVEN! :)"

Who knows, maybe there will end up being an offshoot reality TV show!

In the interim, Ellen, looking forward to meeting the Missus.

http://www.julianayrs.com

Twitter...Ellen DeGeneres tucks in twits - er - tweeters! Howard Stern & "Hangover" trigger raft of dialogue!

Ellen entertains flock with over-the-top frock!

In a round-about-way, I ended up signing on to "follow" the Ellen DeGeneres talk show, at ever-popular Twitter.

Of course, I've always been fond of the quick-witted comedian's style.

It all started when I inputted my user name and password to enter the Twitter site late yesterday afternoon a moment or two shy of posting a feature on Ellen's novel idea to gift fans of the show by tweet express.

Curiously, when a "thread" of conversation sprang to life on the screen, right away I spied a tweet from Ellen informing her "followers" that Howard Stern allegedly quipped that he didn't like her dancing on the show.

For those of you in the dark - on occasion - Ellen dead-pans a soft-shuffle or two to the delight of her gushing fans.

I was taken aback by the timeliness of the Stern barb!

Just minutes earlier, I published a post which also took a sly poke at Ellen's somewhat spastic (no rhythm!) two-step style.

Of course, the jibe was a bit tongue-in-cheek, and not meant to crush the bright-eyed talk-show host's penchant for engaging in the romantic past-time.

Since the Stern tweet was on the heels of my own post regarding the same subject matter, I was inclined to surf over to Ellen's fan site, to investigate the synchronistic moment further.

So, I clicked on the shock jock reference link provided by the charismatic show biz personality, and ended up plunk down in the middle of the Ellen "show" web site.

What a fun place (well, instinctively, I half-knew it would be!) for the curious to kick off their shoes and put their feet up.

Ok, I fess up.

I tapped the "follow" button - and within minutes - I was interacting (mostly reacting!) to a host of dazzling "Twitter" personas heretofore unknown to moi!

Golly!

Then, just before I keyed out at about 10 p.m , I took one last gander at the socially hip hub site I was now joined at the heart to, before signing off.

Now the Ellen "tweet" on Howard Stern was going full-steam ahead after triggering a slew of responses (mostly negative) from Ellen fans who flew to her side in a defense mode.

One irate tweeter was particularly angry with old garbage-mouth for dissing a woman on air about her abortion.

I won't repeat what she quipped in the heat of the moment, though.

This is a Disney-style family blog, after all.

Yeah, right!

And, I don't sleep buck naked at night, either.

One of my followers - Caesar's Palace - was all hopped up over "Hangover".

Throughout the starry night, CP urged tweekers to catch the entertaining feature just released around the country.

The mere mention of the comedy, which has garnered rave reviews in the local and National press in recent days - set off a tidal wave of glittering chatter - not unlike the kind you'd encounter in a trendy single's bar in Anytown, U.S.A.

Looks like I have springboarded into a dizzying strata of fresh meat - um - contacts.

Like Facebook & Twitter, membrs are often led through one door and out another, at Twitter.

If you're a true adventurer with a thirst for life, who knows where you'll end up!

Computer heaven?

Or on a fast track to trojan hell?

By the way, did you know that a major computer in Europe has been nick-named "The Beast".

Insightful thoughts on the subject, anyone?

As I was reflecting on these matters of import, a warm & fuzzy feeling swept over me when I caught sight of one last tweet from Ellen before she slipped off into another dreamy landscape that must have been beckoning from afar.

The tweet was short and sweet:

EllenFans Good night all my Tweeple!

Imagine that!

The quirky talk-show host tucks in her tweeters each night.

That's true class!

http://www.julianayrs.com/

Twitter...Ellen DeGeneres tweets gifts! Good gal to follow...

For those of you who toil away in the afternoon at work and don't have the opportunity to sneak a peak at America's favorite token "lesbo" talk-show host, be forewarned.

Unless you tweet, you'll be left out in the dark when it comes to "treats".

Yup, from my Divine Divan one lazy afternoon, I caught one segment of the Ellen Show in which the quirky dresser announced to the rapt audience that she was going to use her Twitter-time to gift viewers and tweeters alike.

To demonstrate, the ball*y comedian broadcast a small clip which captured three young ladies turning up at a bus shop to snatch up tickets for the show which Ellen & her staff planted there, before a random tweet invited adventurers to scout 'em down.

A lone woman turned up at the location within minutes of the tweet going out.

She proceeded to slyly search the drop-off area on the down-low to ensure she didn't tip off any other contestants as to the possible whereabouts of the coveted prize.

As luck would have it, on the heels of her arrival, she spied two excited ladies scurrying down the street in her direction, so she was forced to abandon ship and nonchalantly drifted off out-of-sight with the obvious intention to return.

Not a smart move!

The two aggressive interlopers spotted the tickets in a jiffy!

And, ended up on Ellen's afternoon show.

The perky blond has a gaggle of hilarious off-beat ideas that tickle my funny - um - bone.

For instance, she conjured up a delicious scheme to ensure that pesky adverts that fly out from inside the pages of slick magazines don't end up littering the streets.

"Replace the flyers with money," she giggled.

The audience roared!

Now, if she could only manage to sell Publisher's Clearing house on the idea.

Hang in there, dreamboat!

As to me, well, I would be remiss if I did not admit that Ellen's dance segments drive me batty!

Portia's better-half isn't cool-lookin' at all when she trips-the-light fantastic across the stage and up into the aisles on a wing and a prayer.

If you ask me, the men's clothing she sports each day, may be restricting her rhythm (and menstrual flow, quite possibly, ya know?)

Portia, get her out to Arthur Murray's, pronto!

Well, I gotta go.

Who knows, maybe the engaging TV personality will be tweeting about a nifty party she's throwing @ Pink's in Hollywood - with free hot dogs and all the trimmings - since an HD Video I just shot there revealed her pretty little face beaming down from one wall on the tables below.

Post: 06/10/2009

http://julian1st.wordpress.com/2009/06/10/pinks-world-famous-hot-dogs-star-snack-hang-out-in-hollywood/

I feel a tweet coming on.

See 'ya there!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Oprah Winfrey...twitters! There goes the neighborhood! Some cry foul...

Geek meets twit!

Your head must have been in a toilet or something for the past twenty-four hours if you didn't hear the news about Oprah Winfrey and "twitter".

Yes, Ms. Smarty (overstuffed) pants has ventured into the 21st Century by signing up!

Understandably, Oprah needed someone to hold her hand.

The idea of it was so revolutionary, and frightful, after all!

On her daytime talk fest Friday, the founder of "Twitter" was at the side of goody-two-shoes, as she browsed around the Twitter site all agog at the potential of it all.

One light bulb definitely went off inside her head.

'A great way to keep track of Steadman' (or any other eligible beau waiting in the wings in Tweetville) must have been one mental note she made to herself.

Twitter just might be what the fad doctor ordered to keep the feisty gabber from falling of the diet wagon, too.

All Oprah has to do is "tweet" one her new pals about a deep-fried oreo she's about to wolf down - when, I expect - a host of die-hard fans will step in and pull-the-plug on that naughty bit of self-indulgence from the get-go.

And, what about those new "best buds", anyway?

According to a news item in the morning paper, Oprah sauntered into the twitter arena with 70,000 "followers" right off-the-bat.

L. Ron Hubbard must be turning over in his grave somewhere in Science Fiction heaven!

Meanwhile, the morning air waves were awash with cries of "foul".

"How the heck did she do that?" one envious bimbo babe was inclined to ask increduously of her fellow squawkers on air.

"She got 'em to give her all those tweeters," one sly disc jockey accused off-the-cuff.

Aghast, a female gossip-monger on the popular morning show lamented:

"Is that legal?"

"Sure," a jock quick on-the-uptake quipped cynically.

"Twitter's chief twit probably offered Oprah a twaddle of tweeters as an incentive if she'd sign up for the popular social hub during a live broadcast on her afternoon talk show."

Ashton Kutcher must feel old money bags breathing down heavy on his pretty lily-white a**.

Nothwitstanding, some fear that twitter has tweaked!

When mainstream folks like Oprah jump on board, the once-hip ship is sure to sink, savvy trend-pundits theorize.

"Twittering is not tweet any more, dudes!"

Even face-book is suffering a backlash.

Some whine that all this kissy-kissy "be my friend" stuff has gotten so candy-ass that it doesn't pass the smell taste anymore.

Yup, I'm going to start up a "book" rife with a gang of "enemy" Internet snots, I'll be able to take a "poke" at whenever I'm in the mood for a nasty bit** fight.

Here's mud in your eye!

Ashton Kutcher & the Tweeters on tour!

http://www.julianayrs.com