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Showing posts with label Ellen DeGeneres. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ellen DeGeneres. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Gay Marriage...New York lovebirds tie-knot by Lottery! Adam & Steve thrilled!











Once it was announced that "gay marriages" would be recognized in New York within thirty-days of a court ruling allowing same-sex unions in that state, droves of residents (and long-time lovers living in sin) logged online in a frenzy to reserve a coveted spot at City Hall to "get hitched" legally on that special day.

When the celebrated day rolls around, lovebirds won't have to worry about getting in line "on time" at City Hall, though, to be guaranteed their civil right to say "I do".

Once City Officials determined that there were too many applicants to "service" that day comfortably (or in romantic good taste) Mayor Bloomberg announced that 764 couples would be chosen by "lottery" to tie-the-knot on July 24th (2011).

The rest will have to eat cake, 'til a later date, eh?

"We wanted to make sure that Sunday is not like a trip to the Motor Vehicles," a city spokesperson acknowledged in no uncertain terms to the prying press quick on-the-uptake.

Uh-huh!

What self-respecting (loving) couple wants a publicity still of their "vows" that looks for all-the-world like a mug shot taken at the DMV?

Amen!

http://www.thetattler.biz








Monday, October 11, 2010

Ellen DeGeneres...adopts a plump Turkey! Gobble! Gobble!








Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres - a  well-known vegetarian - is urging folks around the country to consider adopting a turkey or two before they face the axe this coming Thanksgiving.

"Save a life this thanksgiving and join me in starting a new tradition of adopting a turkey instead of eating one," chirped DeGeneres in recent days, in her new role as spokesperson for the Adopt-a-Turkey project run  by the Farm Sanctuary.

In place since 1986, the annual adoption program offers a safe haven at its New York shelters, or through  placement with concerned citizens who take the harmless birds on as backyard pets.

At their website, the organization notes that on the Thanksgiving alone, at least 46 million of the gobbly creatures will be slaughtered so that the tradition of eating turkey meat may continue in homes across the country this upcoming holiday weekend.

Its important to note that the because Turkeys are excluded from the Humane Slaughter Act, each and every one will face a brutal cruel death, usually a short fourteen to eighteen weeks into their short life span.

Talk about merciless slaughter!

You go, girl!





Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Portia De Rossi...changes name to DeGeneres! The female in the relationship?








Portia de Rossi allegedly applied to legally have her identity reflect that she is betrothed to a partner.

Ellen DeGeneres' mate wants to go all the way - and change her name - to reflect her same-sex marital status with the perky talk show host.

Once the paperwork has been processed, Portia de Rossi will officially become known legally as Portia Lee James DeGeneres.

De Rossi's petition was filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court last Friday, according to court sources.

In the application, the legal document notes for the record, that the "Petitioner" (De Rossi) is taking the name of her spouse.

Previously, De Rossi changed her birth name to De Rossi when she first became an actress pursuing a career in Hollwood.

Actors tend to change their name in the event a member of the Screen Actors Guild already has a similar name to avoid confusion, or because the one given at birth by parents, is cumbersome to spell or not appropriate for an actor's image on stage or in the realm of TV or film.

Archibald Leach, for example, later became Cary Grant.

The couple started dating in December 2004, and officially married at the their Beverly Hills estate on August 16 (2008), in a full-dress chi-chi ceremony which was attended by the Who's Who of the Hollywood elite.

Ellen excitedly gushed in interviews that when she and De Rossi became hitched she was elated.

"I couldn't  believe this beautiful woman was interested in me at this age," she giggled in so many words to a reporter at a night-time tabloid news show.

Since Portia is taking Ellen's surname, some wonder if this is an indication that "Ellen" is the man in the relationship.

Would that make Portia a lipstick lesbian?

Inquiring minds want to know!




Thursday, July 29, 2010

American Idol...Ellen DeGeneres bows out as Judge! Not right fit...








Viewers knew it before she did, but at long last Ellen DeGeneres finally saw the light, woke up and smelled the coffee, whatever!

The perky talk-show host - with the quirky two-steps - wasn't cut out for the role of intense discerning Judge on American Idol when it got down to brass tacks.

So, she tweeted the news to her fans!

"I'm outta there, folks."

Although the announcement may have been untimely - grumpy old Simon Cowell is also departing to develop his spanking-new offering - Fear Factor - Fox Network Execs weren't taken by surprise.

No temper tantrums for Ellen, not even any coy game-playing, in a bid for higher bucks.

'Cause she's classy, all the way.

Like any seasoned thoughtful pro, the popular afternoon talk-show host gave advance notice.

While admitting that her plate was basically full - and that her duties at Fox were tipping the balance of things a tad - she was up front and honest about the obvious.

"I didn't like hurting people's feelings," she fessed up.

Unlike Simon Cowell, who often left young hopefuls discouraged about the future and in a puddle of tears for family and fans (and Ryan Seacrest) to mop up!

So, the hustle is on, once again.

Who (are) the next likely candidates to take up the coveted spots?

How about a regular Joe rotating each week (selected by weekly give-a-way).

That might be a hilarious twist, in-of-itself!

And, a roster of Judges plucked up from popular daytime and nightime TV shows may have a lot of audience appeal?

I'd even take a shot, if Ryan promised to share a beauty secret or two back stage.

I confess, a tip on hair conditioner may do wonders for my unruly mop, which one fan compared to a Steve McQueen "do".

My favorite compliment from a stranger who came up to me on the street one day?

"You look like Peter O'Toole. When he was young and glamorous."

Now, that's a hoot!




Peter O'Toole & Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia


Saturday, May 29, 2010

Ellen DeGeneres...launches record label! Bieber contender vys for spotlight...









Ellen DeGeneres intends to make a big splash as a record mogul with the launching of a label she'll christen "eleveneleven".

Next Wednesday, the perky talk show host will officially announce her entrance into the high-stakes world of the music industry.

DeGeneres is pinning her hope chest on a dazzling YouTube whiz - Greyson Michael Chance - who recently rustled up 30-million hits when music lovers scrambled to catch his rendition of Lady Gaga's hit song "Paparazzi".

The video-taped performance was originally recorded at a Church talent show in Edmond (Oklahoma).

Guess the Lord liked what he heard and pulled a few strings behind the scenes with his invisible hand  to give the kid a boost into the spotlight, eh?

Just recently, the young singer/pianist expressed his wonder over his good fortune.

"It's crazy thinking about 30 million people," Chance said.

"It just makes me happy. It really hasn't sunken in yet. It's awesome."

Chance has signed on with the Management team that handles Madonna and Lady Gaga.

Not shoddy at all!



Thursday, May 20, 2010

American Idol...Casey bites dust! Justin Bieber a hit!






An electric stage performance by Justin Bieber drove pretty bodacious babes into a frenzy, Idol hometown visits - in what amounted to Hero's welcomes - brought tears to the eye, and a Perez hopeful stormed the stage to take a grab at the brass ring.

On one of those rare occasions, the Judges were weepy, too.

In fact,  all four struggled  to hold back tears - but ended up wearing their hearts on their sleeves - nonetheless.

What an emotional night!

When the big 3 finalists graced the Idol stage - somehow - it all seemed right.

The scuttlebutt this past week at water coolers around the Nation was ominous for the sexy heartthrob.

Casey's "got to go" appeared to be the mantra.

For the handsome stud it had been a thrill ride, of sorts.

As his popularity soared into the stratosphere, the low-key musician often accommodated the scheming shifty-eyed  producers looking to exploit his - um - talent.

The soap contender tossed off his shirt right, left, and center to boost the ratings and win over a female (or male) fan or two at the drop of a hat, in fact.

But, when push came to shove, the people had spoken.

Last night Casey sang his swan song.

Now - Katie Bowersox and Lee DeWiez - are left to belt it out next week in the finals!

The one that nabs the golden prize will probably be climbing the charts shortly after that - the potent power of an Idol plaudit - is that sweet and promising.

To underscore that point?

It  didn't escape my attention that during the course of watching the show, a band singer in the lounge of my Hotel downstairs, chose Adam Lambert's catchy tune - What do you Want for me? - to open her set.

There were a number of surprises last night - enough jolts and adrenalin  rushes - to satisfy even the toughest critics.

For instance, Ryan Seacrest suddenly announced that Perez Hilton was on hand, to introduce a young performer that he "discovered".

Perez - in black "t" (with a ubiquitous caption etched on its face) and jeans beamed

"So, what did you see in Travis Garland," the metrosexual man of-the-hour pointedly asked the Queen of the Blogs.

Did I hear a snicker or two in the audience?

"The fact that he is better than Justin Timberlake."

Unfortunately, that did not turn out to be the case.

Ah, the prooof is in the pudding, as they say.

I found his dance routine sluggish.

After all, it appeared he was trying to recall tricky steps that his backup dancers performed with ease.

The tune - Believe - was mediocre at best.

Efforts by the studio suits to jazz up the number with a myriad of nifty effects didn't manage to disguise the fact the composition was weak and nothing to write home about.

Perez, what were you thinking?

Multi-talented Timberlake must be having a big laugh this morning.

Don't look for a day job, Justin.

In one touching moment, Crystal Bowersox was reunited with her young child, as family and loved ones gazed on choked up with emotion.

Is Ms. Bowersox part of a biker clan?

At a big blow out, the Mayor of the City presented Bowersox with the key to her home town, Toledo.

Crystal later held a concert in the park - Bowerstock - which was packed with well-wishers and signaled the innovative musician is on her way into the big leagues.

Very deserving!






Wednesday, May 5, 2010

American Idol...singers lacked ba**s to pull off Sinatra! Those with no life experience need not apply!









As  I was switching the dial on the old boob tube last night, with an eye-out for some entertaining bill-of-fare, I happened across one of the American Idol (Fox) contestants butchering a classic Frank Sinatra tune (which should have come off smooth as butter).

OMG!

A second male vocalist also tried a stab at an ol' blue-eyes  hit - and missed the mark - too.

Embarrassingly, so!

Meanwhile Judges like Ellen - and even normally-sane Simon Cowell - gave the pop hopefuls a false sense of security when they raved about the misguided musical musings (disasters?).

Gosh, the taste of the Idol Judges is either up their wazoo these days, or those blaring musical interludes in-between segments these past few weeks have managed to deafen the two.

When Frank Sinatra crooned - "My Way" - the reason the celebrated hit touched (and is a all-time favorite in Karaoke bars around the globe today) - was because Frank sang each word (and the note that couched it) as if he lived it (which he had).

Yes, Sir!

Frank did it "his" way.

When he crooned about the heartaches of love - or moments of reflection - the muscial emotions resonated with audiences.

Why?

The legendary singer was able to reach inward - let go, let it out - and along the way (without any  regrets) reveal the innermost underpinnings of his soul.

Sinatra's bang-on phrasing and the subtle nuances in his golden voice were icing on the cake - in the final anaylsis - and were the tools of the craft he facilitated to buttress the song up so that it could float out to rest on appreciative areas.

The end result?

For a short while, audiences basked in the glow of a gifted performer - the likes of which - music-lovers will rarely ever witness on the live stage again in their lifetime.

The idol pap was all puff pastry, in my estimaton!




Frank Sinatra-style career ahead for Lambert!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Ellen DeGeneres...Family Feud contestants choke on gay issue! Simon unpopular...








OMG!

On the West Coast - especially in the show biz arena - we are all so blase about Ellen DeGeneres being "openly" gay.

Married to a pretty lipstick lesbo?

Who cares!

Not so - in mainstream America - if we're to try to fathom what went down on Family Feud this week.

Even Ellen was a trifle perplexed (miffed?).

Game show contestants were asked to take a stab at a quiz that should have been a snap!

During the segment - "Things that people know about Ellen DeGeneres" - it became quite evident that the guests (a typical middle-class American family) were having a difficult time dealing with the issue of Ellen's "gayness".

I expect the first answer that popped into the fuzzy little heads of the viewers at home was quite obviously one that pertained to the fact that Ellen is "gay!".

Nope.

First answer?

"Ellen has a talk show."

Okay, not bad, but just betcha the next response will focus on her same-sex persuasion (I thought to myself from the comfort on my Hotel suite in San Francisco).

The second answer tripped off-the-tongue of the contestant trippingly, no problem.

"She is a funny lady."

Uh-huh.

Not queer, mind you, just funny.

Golly, the next words to be uttered up would  surely have the - "H", "G", or "L" - letters in it (wouldn't you have thunk?).

"Ellen doesn't like this country," the husband hazarded a guess (with a straight face, mind you!).

Huh?

"Ellen takes care of her mother," flunked out too.

Not on the ubiquitous board above the stage!

Finally - gosh almighty - a family member piped up that Ellen's married.

Bingo!

But, the tactful woman stopped short of noting the particulars.

"To a woman, you idiot!"

Needless to say, when Ellen showed the clip on her show earlier today, she was obviously in need of some consoling.

Til now, the perky talk show host - and upbeat friendly Judge on American Idol - must have thought she was the darling of America.

Nope.

Hard to swallow, eh Ellen?

In another surprise moment (when Ellen was setting up a belated April Fool's Day joke) she announced that Simon Cowell was exiting American Idol.

The spirited guests in her audience cheered!

Or was there an applause sign being held up from the sidelines?

Nope.

Ellen was shocked.

"You want Simon Cowell to leave Idol?"

The crowd roared in approval.

Life is full of surprises, isn't it?


Monday, April 5, 2010

Ellen DeGeneres Show....Nick Jonas no Springsteen! Great riffs, lousy voice...







Nick Jonas performed live! on Ellen - without siblings - today.

Don't give up your day job, dude!

For starters, he needs a hip stylish "do".

The popular heart-throb must have been having a bad-hair day because the curly mushed-up-mess he sported on Ellen singled him out as a nerd for sure.

I laughed out loud at one point because the Jonas boys - minus two -was obviously under the mistaken impression that he was a hard-rocker along the royal lines of  Bruce Springsteen.

If his voice was strained, and the notes fell harshly on the ears, it was because the material was unsuited for his limited vocal range.

I confess that in a musical interlude, a few solo riffs, underscored his ability on the guitar.

But as front man or headlining act - beyond the hokey bubblegum realm - he is not.

By the way, was he on speed?

Bless Ellen's heart for giving him a day in the sun.

Stick with the bros, kid!



http://www.thetattler.biz/

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Ellen DeGeneres...Miley Cyrus niave! Fibber at it again...


 



Shortly after I published a post yesterday afternoon which focused on Miley Cyrus's growing lack of credibility (she's a teller of tall tales, after all) I found myself yelling at the old boob a few minutes later when Miley trotted out on the stage of the "Ellen Show" and proceeded to chat up a storm.

"There you go again."

In a post last week, I reported that Miley shut-down her twitter account, because she alleged threats were received from users who were angry with comments she made in support of Gay Marriage.

Post: 03/22/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/03/miley-cyrustweet-or-twit-gay-marriage.html

Since that time, Miley has been reluctant to confirm those shocking events on-camera, unless cornered to do so.

For example, when Jay Leno quizzed her about the twitter incident, she tried to change her story.

"Oh, I quit because twitter-users tweet about stupid things, like going to the bathroom," she chided in so many words.

Leno appeared to be taken aback.

"I thought it had to do with the fact you supported Gay Marriage?"

Perhaps it slipped Miley's mind?

After all, the excuse about the "Gay Marriage" comment, is the one she offered up to Parade magazine a few weeks ago.

Miley got a little flustered for a sec, then fessed up that Jay's take on it was correct.

Did she wise up to the fact that - once a comment is made on the record about a particular subject - it's probably best to stick to the original story for credibilty's sake?

No!

On Ellen's show yesterday she claimed there was another reason why she quit twitter.

Arghhh!

The perky talk show host (herself gay) probed further.

"I heard it was because you supported Gay Marriage!"

Good one!

Go in for the kill, Ellen.

In the aftermath, Miley scrambled to sort-out the dilemma she found herself in.

"I was asked a question. So, I gave my opinion."


But her naivete really charged to the fore when she quipped:

"They were saying that love was wrong. How could love between two people be wrong?"

Huh?

Ms. Cyrus has obviously not mingled much with folks in the mainstream around the country - or for that matter, given the issue much thought - otherwise she wouldn't open her yap and make such a silly remark.

The argument for gay marriage does not hinge on the question of "Love" per se.

Contrary to what Ms. Cyrus thinks, the people she was complaining about, don't believe that love is ever "wrong".

Christians in the heartland, for instance, tend to take a cue from scriptures that teach that homosexuality - "a man lying down with another man" - is not only sinful but goes against the laws of nature.

There is a better argument to pursue that has a lot more bite in respect to the issue of "gay marriage".

For instance, there isn't any proof that the passages in the Bible Christians refer to in support of their position, are - in fact - the word of God!

Over the centuries the scriptures have been revised - and quite possibly rewritten - to  meet a specific agenda of the day (or the powers-that-be).

Elsewhere in the scriptures, another passage underscores that when God calls on an individual, it is not necessary for that person to change.

The Lord accepts the individual as they are.

Miley's on the right track in many respects, but needs to step out of her protected shell - get real - and spout off accordingly.

To quote myself:

"If your actions are pure of heart, there is no harm."

Amen!



Thursday, March 25, 2010

American Idol...Miley Cyrus triumphs! Simon hissed! Dark moody vibes reared ugly head!






Miley Cyrus inspired a standing ovation, disgruntled members of the audience hissed a bit**y Brit, and Ryan Seacrest got down to the nitty-gritty to the chagrin of many.

Uh-huh!

"American Idol" kicked off a new season filled with promise, until things started to go bump in the night, and sent nervous contestants (and Judges) down a topsy-turvy path that left a few biting their nails and pondering their futures.

Post: 03/24/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/03/american-idolmiley-cyrus-steals-show.html

In contrast, American Idol appeared to be struggling to pull itself up by the bootstraps last night, in the aftermath of the fiasco that went down Tuesday evening.

In a heart-to-heart with the contestants, stacked side-by-side like ducks in a row on hard benches, Ryan Seacrest attempted to make sense of the scoreboard (with a little input from the performers) to determine the status of each hapless competitor.

Talk about tough love!

At one point, when Seacrest repeated  a criticism uttered up by a snide Simon the night before, a handful of guests in the audience hissed enthusiastically.

Ouch!

Was it just me - or did the Judges appear to be on the "hot seat" - last night?

On occasion, Ellen - for instance - appeared to be put out by the line of questioning.

"Well, I wasn't happy with the song he chose," she retorted in response to a query about Casey's turn at the mic on Tuesday night.

"But, I liked his voice," she snipped a bit indignantly.

At one point, when Cowell was asked if he wanted to change an assessment he made, he paused for a second red-faced before reacting.

"No, I don't," he finally coughed up in so many words as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

In view of the pall that was hanging over the room, it was crystal clear to me, that there must have been some grumbling from above by the powers-that-be on high in the executive suite over controversies that reared their ugly during the American Idol premiere show.

Obviously, the boom had been lowered.

In contrast, when charismatic Miley Cyrus alighted on the stage to perform her new single - "The Last Song" - the mood was all hearts and flowers.

In fact, when the pretty songbird wrapped up her performance on a powerful high note, the electric moment garnered her a standing ovation.

Cyrus was taken aback.

"I've never had a standing ovation before," she gushed.

I wasn't surprised.

The song was perfectly suited to her voice and perfomed to perfection with heartfelt emotion.

American Idol contestants would be wise to follow her example!

Nuff said!


Ryan handled details well last night!


That bad, eh?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Kellan Lutz...hearts flutter on Ellen! Cast in role of Poseidon!






Hearts were all aflutter on Ellen this week when Calvin Klein underwear model - Kellan Lutz - trotted out from behind the curtain.

The pulses started racing when Lutz - slated to burst out on the wide screen on June 30th in the Twilight sequel (Eclipse) - sauntered into the studio audience to get up-close-and-personal - after a brief chat on the couch with Ellen.

No bump & grind, though.

The pretty boy's physique has proven to be quite an asset of late.

Lutz's handlers just announced, for instance, that their client has been signed to take on the mantle of  "Poseidon" in a big-budget feature (War of the Gods) starring Mickey Rourke, Henry Cavill, and Freida Pinto.

Mythical or muscular role playing?

Since the project is being billed as a "new action film" it causes one to wonder!

Meanwhile, in the modern day (in a certain part of town), movie-goers can only surmise what ominous events are bound to unfold when "Nightmare on Elm Street" - starring Lutz - splashes (slashes?) across the silver screen April 30th!

Understandably, the rising star has become a triple threat of high order in Hollywood show-biz circles.

Vampire cum God slash hacker!

With a bit of box-office luck, and expert nurturing from his theatrical agent, Lutz may be able to close the door on the cheezy underwear ads in the near future.

Did I hear a sigh of disappointment?




Male erotica!


But, can he act?

American Idol...Miley Cyrus steals show! Simon shocks with kudos to Crystal Bowersox!








A nerdy-looking gal with horn-rimmed specs belted out Stevie Wonder in her own inimitable style, a misguided teen screwed up big tiime with a god-awful rendition of "I heard it from the Grape Vine", and a carpet-toting guitar-player managed to rustle up kudos from Simon Cowell (astonishingly).

Ah - another dramatic emotionally-charged segment of American Idol kicked into high gear tonight - as one of the country's best-dressed metrosexuals gazed on from the sidelines trying to look important to the proceedings.

I confess.

I've never actually watched American Idol from start to finish.

Imagine that!

But, I turned the corner in that regard this starry night.

I tend to be a channel surfer (with attention deficit disorder perhaps?) who rarely ever hunkers down for the duration of a half-hour sitcom (even if the humor rocks my funny bone) or a sappy night-time serial calculated to provoke thought or wrench a gut.

The Oscars? 

Well, that's a whole different ball of sticky wax.

I stock up with a carton of soft-drinks (or maybe spring for a pricey bottle of wine depending on my mood) and a truck-load of junky addicting snacks just prior to start-up to ensure I don't miss one juicy broadcast tidbit.

But, for some inexplicable reason, I found myself surfing back to American Idol throughout the night.

In part, I was fascinated by the oddball panel of judges who were inclined to walk a sloppy slippery slope, more-often-than-not.

Gosh, their opinions were all over the musical map!

The charismatic appeal of Miley Cyrus - a guest hostess (with the mostest) - kept me glued to the set whenever she sashayed across the screen, though.

The producers invited the popular chanteuse to kibitz with the contestants - as they prepped for the competition - to obviously lighten the load (and calm their nerves a trifle).

"It was great to talk with Miley because she's my own age and been there," one nervous vocalist gushed awkwardly into camera.

The poignant backstage clips were a welcome respite from on stage maneuverings that bordered on the mundane on more than one awkward occasion.

I was intrigued by Miley's fashion choices - definitely  risque - at one point.

The perky singer tended to lean towards chic cocktail dresses cut high on the leg and low on the chest (which made her ripe for potential wardrobe malfunctions).

During one segment, when an excited contestant swooped up Miley into his arms for a hug, I thought American Idol was going to cross over into X-rated bill-of-fare.

At any moment, I half-expected Miley's bare ass to flash across the screen, for starters!

If Perez Hilton was ogling the TV over at his den of iniquity, I surmise he was muttering - "that sl*t -  under his breath as he circled a publicity still or two to publish on his naughty web site.

Fortuately, the vivacious babe was wearing make-shift panties!

Meanwhile, the show - itself - zipped along at a good pace for the most part.

When Simon handed out a kudo or two, though, my jaw dropped.

Was Simon mellowing with age?

On the heels of negative critiques by two of his contempoaries on the panel, Simon was quick to point out - that contrary to their lofty opinions - the singer in question would be wise "not to change a thing".

In fact, the edgy Brit compared the pretty lass's performance, to a knock-out rendition of the standard by PINK.

Was the leopard changing his spots?

Evidently not, because a short while later, Simon was insulting artists at the drop of  a sour note - left right and center - as the show progressed along its bumpy course.

Old habits die hard, obviously.

At that juncture, it caused me to wonder - as a couple of others did tonight - how it was possible for  two individuals watching the same performance to end up wrestling with such differing lasting impressions.

For example - when studly Casey belted out (sort of) a Huey Lewis hit - two panelists (both women) raved.

"You're ready to record," one judge hammered home with a smug look of satisfaction on her tarted-up face.

In contrast, Simon flatly labelled Casey's performance on par with that of a lowly cover band.

 Ouch!

"There wasn't anything original there," he sniped.

I was in accord with Simon's assessment.

There was a question of relevance, after all.

We already have one Huey Lewis on the music circuit.

Do we really need a watered-down version making a fool of himself on stage?

Subsequently, the issue of the show's relevance reared its ugly head.

"The point of this show," Simon elaborated, "is to find a recording artist."

It's not about jumping up and down on stage or using shameless gimmicks to nab the spotlight, Simon lamented in so many words, with a touch of frustration in his voice.

Another discussion on the issue of the selection of material resonated roundly with me, too.

Inexperienced performers have a tendency to choose a song that fails to properly showcase their own unique voice.

Worse than that, they usually end up performing material on stage, without much style or originality.

It is not enough to belt out a classic hit - a true artist breathes their own artistry into it - and makes the material their own.

Frank Sinatra is an excellent example of a singer who always put his own stamp on a tune, by virtue of phrasing, a new arrangement, and what-have-you..

Barbra Streisand is capable of that, too.

The kids on American Idol struggle to fathom that reality check out from week-to-week without a clue about how to resolve the dilemma.

For example, one pretty singer sashayed across the stage, like she was in a Broadway musical.

The judges responded accordingly!

"You weren't feeling the song, or projecting any individual style. You looked like you were just acting out," seemed to be the general consensus.

Uh-huh!

It would be helpful if contestants tried to figure out why the composer wrote the song.

Was he or she in love, for example?

Then, that is the heartbeat of the song, that needs to be expressed successfully to drive it along.

Otherwise, the American Idol spotlight ends up being a glorified karaoke segment.

In the case of one vocalist, Simon was forced to utter up the awful truth.

"It's ironic that you kept singing - "You're no good. You're no good." - he snidely remarked.

"You sucked the life out of it."

A black contestant's song styling was labelled "loungey and boring".

Sadly, the assessment was bang on!

Then, there is always the question of nerves.

It is difficult for any competent singer to breath properly - or unfaltered project crystal clear notes - when he or she is suffering from a serious bout of the willies.

Relaxing into a song is of utmost importance.

I noticed last night that singers often dashed up to the mic, and before alighting with their feet firmly planted on stage (or having caught their breath), jumped into the material without the focus needed to launch it successfully.

More instruction in this area Judges, please!

After all, it's important that a singer be "in control" to effectively perform.

With that in mind, one smart young lady (Crystal Bowersox)  dragged along a snatch of carpet to perch on, in order to properly set the mood on stage.

"The stage is so cold and bare, otherwise" she calmly explained.

Her approach was not that unusual, though, when you reflect on it.

Show biz performers tend to be a superstitous lot, after all.

If you recall, one Star Search wonder trotted out each week in his favorite pair of ratty old sneakers, for good luck.

It did the trick!

The problem with the the bulk of idol contestants?

For the most part, contestants lack the necessary talent and experience to pull the stint off.

Sorry!

You've either got it, or you don't.

An artist may be technically good at what they do, but without that magic "X" factor, they're just spinning their wheels.

That is why it is important to develop originality and and distinctive style.

In the final analysis, competent appealing singers are a dime-a-dozen, flooding the music scene with mere piffle.

In the case of American Idol, mediocrity appears to be the opiate of the masses.


Ellen stressed out?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Ellen DeGeneres...shameless promotion! Chelsea Lately gets a**y-face with dog...




Ellen turning into a woofer!



Will success spoil Rock Hunter - or - Ellen DeGeneres for that matter?

Usually, when I tune in to the perky talk-show host's afternoon show, Ellen is all sweetness and light.

And, the content - an hour or so of entertaining fluff - pretty harmless for the most part.

So, I was taken aback when the "aw-shucks" down-to-earth stand-up comic made a tasteless commercial pitch to guest Chelsea Lately.

Chelsea, who hosts a show featuring her own personal brand of humor on E Entertainment, was sharing an amusing tale about a dog she adopted (that otherwise would have been put to sleep) had she not stepped forward to provide shelter.

"I didn't have a dog for the same reasons I didn't have babies. I don't like feeding 'em or cleaning up after 'em, " she lamented with a look of smug satisfaction on her pretty face.

But, the experience of owning a pet warmed her heart a tad.

For instance, in spite of the fact she imagined she'd never be the kind of individual to allow an oversized dog into her comfy bed at night, Chelsea confessed the little charmer won her over.

In about two seconds flat the pouch was hopping up onto the bed snuggling up.

"But, it wasn't what I expected. I thought he'd curl up and put his hang-dog face next to mine," she giggled in so many words.

Fat chance!

After he did a little helicopter whirl around the bed once or twice, he flopped down, and thrust his a** right in her face!

The ultimate compliment, Chelsea!

Can 'ya hear me snickering?

Now, excuse me, while I throw up at the thought.

But, what really irked me yesterday, was the tasteless promotional plug that followed.

"Chelsea, I have some gifts for you," Ellen teased.

From a hiding-place nearby, the comic scooped up a dog collar and presented it to a surprised Chelsea.

"I have something else for you, too," the out-host excitedly piped up.

At this juncture, Ellen made a pitch for a product she sponsors.

"You know, Chelsea, I have a line of pet food. So, I put together a gift basket."

When a gofer strode out with a pretty basket chock full of dog food (and pet treats) Chelsea was speechless understandably.

Embarrassed for Ellen, perhaps?

It was such a shameless promotion, after all.

As Chelsea sat stone-faced for a second, Ellen made a pitch to the audience.

"It has a lot of nutritional value and the brand is good for your dog," she chirped with all the charm of a snake-oil salesman.

Don't they pay her enough at the Network?

Ellen, don't lower yourself, please!



Sunday, March 7, 2010

Barry Manilow...fan-a-lows big night upstaged by power outage! Crooner's "look" more natural...






Barry warbles popular tunes from eighties!



While Barry Manilow was gearing up for his opening night @ Paris in Las Vegas the unthinkable happened!

A power outage (which caused computer glitches to mangle the electrical flow of musical instruments prorammed for the show) forced the legendary crooner to reschedule the much-anticipated Friday kick-off show.

Because slotted attendees were left in an unexpected lurch, show producers were quick to assure Manilow fans that the precious tickets could be exchanged (or refunded in the alternative).

Meanwhile, just prior to the snafu, Barry was interviewed by perky Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight.

In the past, I have joked that Mr. Manilow - with his shock of bottle-blond locks - was looking alot like Ellen DeGeneres every day.

Perhaps he perused the post?



On ET last night, the talented performer was very natural-looking, with a head of hair that was more in keeping with his skin tone, age, and stage persona.

His wardrobe was understated and elegant.

I expect the popular hit-maker will be well-received during his run here in Las Vegas!

Break a leg, Barry!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

American Idol...disc jockeys titter over an Ellen DeGeneres poke from Patti LaBelle! Ratings soar...






Bit** fight titillates Fox viewers!




This morning disc jockeys were all over the Ellen DeGeneres controversy like flies on sh** on the heels of this remark bypop icon  Patti LaBelle:

 "Someone shouldn't be on American Idol."

"Wonder who that could be?" they chortled in jest on one popular morning show.

"Well, three of the judges have been on Idol for years and nothing was said before. So, you figure it out," quipped one perky female jock.

All music pointers appeared to be jabbing at the podium in the direction of Ellen.

"The problem is she's a type "A" personality," one seasoned broadaster wailed.

"Simon too," a  gossip reporter retorted in an astute uptake.

Double-trouble, alright.

"She used to sit next to Simon - but when she complained that he was fondling her leg - they moved her," he snidely uttered in an aside.

Yeah, some men find the idea of bedding a lesbian a kinky erotic sexual turn-on, for sure.

"So, now you've got these two bookends on either side anchoring down the panel," they conceded unhappily.

The scuttlebutt actually bordered on nasty.

"Oh, there's a definite chill in the air on Idol now" they accused.

The general consensus was that Ellen - in the final anaylsis - managed to destroy the chemistry of the show.

Simon and Paula used to be the mom & dad on American Idol. Then, they brought in the uptight (bitchy) new wife, they argued somewhat convincingly.

Sloppy seconds?

They wondered aloud about the politicking, too.

"Simon used to have the last word. Ellen gets it now, did you notice?"

Must be a humilating castrating experience, eh?

In sum, the disc jockeys giggled with a tinge of incredulity in their voices that the high-profile Karaoke-style ratings-getter had become the Ellen DeGeneres American Idol show.

Come on, dudes (and dudette).

Maybe it was just that time of the month last night.

Hmmm!

What would acccount for her dismal performance last week?

A bad run of the unfunnies, I guess.

Elsewhere, backstage staffers at American Idol have been tittering that Ellen and Simon can't stand each other.

"He does things just to annoy her," one whispered in confidence.

Guess everyone loves a good  bit** fight, though.

Ratings on Ellen soared last week and  Wednesday  night American Idol beat out the Olympics to land in the No. 1 spot.

Will producers take advantage of the Ellen-Cowell power-struggle?

News at 11!




Patti LaBelle new guest Judge?


http://www.thetattler.biz/