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Showing posts with label 1st Dog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1st Dog. Show all posts

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Ellen DeGeneres...shameless promotion! Chelsea Lately gets a**y-face with dog...




Ellen turning into a woofer!



Will success spoil Rock Hunter - or - Ellen DeGeneres for that matter?

Usually, when I tune in to the perky talk-show host's afternoon show, Ellen is all sweetness and light.

And, the content - an hour or so of entertaining fluff - pretty harmless for the most part.

So, I was taken aback when the "aw-shucks" down-to-earth stand-up comic made a tasteless commercial pitch to guest Chelsea Lately.

Chelsea, who hosts a show featuring her own personal brand of humor on E Entertainment, was sharing an amusing tale about a dog she adopted (that otherwise would have been put to sleep) had she not stepped forward to provide shelter.

"I didn't have a dog for the same reasons I didn't have babies. I don't like feeding 'em or cleaning up after 'em, " she lamented with a look of smug satisfaction on her pretty face.

But, the experience of owning a pet warmed her heart a tad.

For instance, in spite of the fact she imagined she'd never be the kind of individual to allow an oversized dog into her comfy bed at night, Chelsea confessed the little charmer won her over.

In about two seconds flat the pouch was hopping up onto the bed snuggling up.

"But, it wasn't what I expected. I thought he'd curl up and put his hang-dog face next to mine," she giggled in so many words.

Fat chance!

After he did a little helicopter whirl around the bed once or twice, he flopped down, and thrust his a** right in her face!

The ultimate compliment, Chelsea!

Can 'ya hear me snickering?

Now, excuse me, while I throw up at the thought.

But, what really irked me yesterday, was the tasteless promotional plug that followed.

"Chelsea, I have some gifts for you," Ellen teased.

From a hiding-place nearby, the comic scooped up a dog collar and presented it to a surprised Chelsea.

"I have something else for you, too," the out-host excitedly piped up.

At this juncture, Ellen made a pitch for a product she sponsors.

"You know, Chelsea, I have a line of pet food. So, I put together a gift basket."

When a gofer strode out with a pretty basket chock full of dog food (and pet treats) Chelsea was speechless understandably.

Embarrassed for Ellen, perhaps?

It was such a shameless promotion, after all.

As Chelsea sat stone-faced for a second, Ellen made a pitch to the audience.

"It has a lot of nutritional value and the brand is good for your dog," she chirped with all the charm of a snake-oil salesman.

Don't they pay her enough at the Network?

Ellen, don't lower yourself, please!



Thursday, August 6, 2009

Barack Obama...crack open a Bowser Beer for Bo! A brewski with barley to promote a shiny coat...


Chug-a-lug!



Consider this scenario, Barack!

You plunk yourself down in front of the TV, crack open the piping-hot foil on a scrumptious Hungry Man dinner, and take a swig of your favorite thirst-quenching ale.

Then, you catch a glimpse of Bo's puppy-dog-eyes sadly pleading from beneath the table.

What about me?

Suddenly, you feel guilty.

Not anymore, 1st Dude!

Bowser Beer has rustled up a beefy non-alcoholic (non-carbonated) beverage to put that special bark in man's best friend!

The dog-eared ale is a fun, healthy, and unique alternative to water that can be served up with a chewey dog treat, straight out of the bottle, or as a topping on dry food.

The lusty brew is made with human-grade ingredients - but get this - it's also low in calories and fat.

So, there won't be any unexpected trots down the walk in the middle of the night, if you know what I mean.

What exactly are the ingredients?

The tasty beer is made of 100% American beef broth and is cooked with real beef!

It also contains smidgens of pure malt barley - just like in real beer - which will add much-needed lustre to a pet's shiny coat.

And, there's a magical touch of glucosamine to promote joint health!

Bowser Beer comes in a six pack of twelve-ounce size bottles.

There are other perks, too.

When you dash off to the "john" during half-time to take a quick whiz, Bo will be so gung-ho about slurping down his own bowser beer, that he won't be inclined to surreptitiously steal sly licks off the lip of your frosty mug.

So next time 'ya stretch back for a pow-wow in the beer garden with brewskies in hand, don't forget to slip a Bowser Beer to the 1st dog, eh?

Skoal!





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