Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Special...Brad Paisley a stand-out! Poor Direction! Beyonce's bad-hair day!

For the most part, the Macy's 4th of July Fireworks special last night on NBC was solid entertainment.

In particular, Country & Western Star - Brad Paisley - was a stand-out in a performance that left audiences crying out for an encore! 

The kid was charismatic and exuded a good-time quality that resonated with fans below the footlights, too.

Unfortunately, Beyonce was having a "bad hair" day and it was downright distracting.

The frazzled "do" (did she fall asleep under the hair-dryer or what?) was replete with tacky dark roots and dry wispy fly-away ends that took flight this-way-and-that whenever the wind whipped across the stage (which was often).

On the other hand, the chanteuse wisely elected to don a chic understated designer gown, which she aaccessorized tastefully with a stunning necklace - that ultimately - flattered her long graceful neck.

One tune was surprisingly just so-so!

But, the Pop Diva's high-energy performance managed to prevent the entire set from fizzling out before our very eyes, in spite of the odds against it.

No problem there in respect to the spectacular pyrotechnics which were literally dazzling in scope.

The musical arrangements laid-in beneath the stunning visuals triggered a stream of consciousness - for me, anyway -which couldn't help but usher up a flood of emotions (patriotic ones, for starters) and reflection.

Unfortunately, the production values were spotty.

Pedestrian direction (and poor camera-work) diminished the special event to amateurish proportions on occasion.

For example, when Nick Lachey (the host for the evening's festivities) attempted to introduce the broadcast at the top of the show, his  voice was drowned out by a spirited gang of guests at his side who squealed with delight as soon as the director called "action" from behind the NBC camera.

A seasoned pro would have anticipated the obvious.

For good reason, the director should have instructed the attendees to remain on the sidelines silently until Mr. Lachey delivered up his intro without interruption, and for the benefit of the viewing audience at home.

A raucous cheer at the end of Lachey's show-opener would have been the professional way to go!

Sadly, the niggling dilemma continued throughout the broadcast and was annoying as heck.

I was also surprised that the musical director failed to issue a note to the performer who elected to go into "uncharted waters" in respect to the rather uneven rendition of "Amazing Grace".

To me, the artistic choices were so jarring, that they reminded me of the irritating sounds fingernails dredge up on a blackboard.

Oh, well!

In spite of the shortcomings, Paisley came up smelling roses with a 4-star performance.

Later!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Jay Leno Show...Helen Hunt a control freak! Snatches cue cards from host's hands!

Surf is up!

(so was Hunt's ire!)



Over the years, make-up and wardrobe personnel at the studios (and in the employ of Independent Film companies) have tittered that Oscar Award-Winning actress - Helen Hunt - was difficult to work with.

After Ms. Hunt's appearance on the Jay Leno Show last night - it was quite evident to the multitudes that the normally low-key movie star is not only a control freak - but an ill-mannered guest to contend with!

Bookers on the late-night circuit beware!

An old Chinese proverb says it all.

"Never insult a host in his own home."

If you want to be asked back, that is.

So, what was all the brouhaha about?

When the talented thespian (who has played opposite respected biggies in the industry like megastar Jack Nicholson) was asked to participate in a quiz about surfing, a short way into the upbeat segment - the pushy broad not only balked at some of the questions - but was inclined to snatch the cue cards right out of Jay's sweaty palm!

Mr. Leno reacted politely, in spite of her outrageous behavior, but was obviously startled by Hunt's insulting conduct and lack of sense of humor (judging by the expression on his face).

Hunt was on the top-rated talk show to tout her new feature which is about the gripping real-life tale of a female surfer (which has been adapted for the Silver Screen) who lost her arm in a shark attack.

Hunt, getting on in years, was cast to play the mother for obvious reasons.

Because the ultra thin (she was all bones if 'ya ask moi) actress boasted to be a surfer, Jay was posed a few questions - understandably so - in an amusing bold-faced effort to sort-out the lingo surfers often coolly spit out as they dart off to hang ten.

Ms. Hunt wasn't put off by the first expression "gnarly", but - not surprisingly- she didn't get it quite right.

When Jay offered up the next expression - "tubed" - she reacted suspiciously (just betcha, she thought she was going to be the brunt of some twisted on-camera joke).

At this juncture, the ice Queen not only went through the roof, but committed the unthinkable.

Uh-huh!

Hunt put a halt to this phase of the interview, and did so, without an apology.

Across the country, I expect viewers at home were screaming at their television sets.

"Bit**!"

And, how was your day?

http://www.thetattler.biz



Leno fast on feet!

Conan O'Brien...Jack Nicholson mystery guest? Nov 8th on TBS!

No doubt - there will be a lot of hoopla - when Conan O’Brien launches his cable talk show on TBS November 8th.

Although, it is doubtful the lanky stand-up comic will be able to match the avalanche of good press he rustled up impromptu when he exited NBC amid a storm of controversy, just betcha the zany hilarious comic (with the infectious grin) will roar to the top of the ratings heap opening night.

If the promos for Conan’s new baby are indicative of the hilarity to come - I’ll probably hold up on the channel surfing (normally the norm for moi) - until the last credit crawls to a close on the flat state-of-the-art screen.

On the season opener, Seth Rogan and musician Jack White are slated to flop down on the couch - or some reasonable facsimile thereof - and spout off as they’re egged on by old freckle face.
 
Other  guests putting in an appearance the first week include  Jack McBrayer, Soundgarden, Jon Hamm, Charlyne Yi, Michael Cera, and Julie Bowen.
 
Apparently, there will be a surprise "unannounced" guest chosen by fans of the show.
 
Rumor has it that Jack Nicholson may stop by to toast Conan and his new gab fest.
 
Break a leg, Conan!

 

http://www.thetattler.biz

Brian Williams...staid image transformed on late night talk!

Did your jaw drop?

In a "top-ten" comedy sketch on a Late Night entertainment show last night - normally-staid NBC News Anchor - Brian Williams - shattered both his pristine public persona and squeaky-clean image in one fell swoop.

"It doesn't matter how big your business is," he uttered up with a straight face, seconds before the punch line.

"It's how you use it."

Girth is important, too, Brian!

P.S.

Brian landed on my "Best Dressed" list twice!

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/01/julian-ayrs-2nd-annual-worst-best.html

http://www.thetattler.biz



Miss Teen (USA)...tonight! Stormi Bree Henley! Donald Trump! Paradise Bay!

 

The charismaic intelligent young ladies are savvy, goal-oriented, and aware - according to Officals - who are tossing a glitzy blow-out in their honor and broadcast live!  aound the globe tonight.

I am referring to the contestants in the Miss Teen USA contest - about to unveil their talents, special skills, and intellgence - amid a lot of pomp and - um - pageantry a few scant hours from now.

The current Ms. Teen USA  - Stormi Bree Henley - will be on hand to pass the Diamond-studded Tiara on to this year's lucky winner.

Miss Teen USA started up in 1952 under the guise of a local "bathing beauty" competition.

Catalina Swimwear (based in Long Beach, CA) transformed the little-Engine-that-could into an International annual tradition.

But, the contest has evolved into more than just a fluffy piece of girlish promotion orchestrated to sell swimsuits, make-up, and an all-American teen image around the globe.

Indeed, the International Organization - comprised of contestants and players - has evolved into a powerful, year-round endeavour that advances and supports opportunities for young women.

The Miss Teen USA celebration takes place at Atlantis in Paradise Island ( Bahamas) tonight
.
NBC Universal will broadcasts the Miss Teen USA competitions live during prime time in the United States.

NBC, through another arm, also distributes the much-anticipated show to International markets (approximately 170 countries).

The MISS UNIVERSE®, MISS USA® and MISS TEEN USA® pageants are produced by Miss Universe Organization, Donald J. Trump, and NBC in a Universal joint venture

http://www.julianayrs.com

George Lopez...adamant he wasn't Leno'd by TBS! Oh yeah...

Give me liberty

(a paycheck will do)

George Lopez can shovel it out, but when the sh** comes back his end, he can't take it!

The jovial talk-show host - who just got kicked back to the witching hour (the dead zone) to accommodate Conan O'Brien's new gab fest on TBS in the fall - was angry about the insinuation that he was snubbed like CoCo a scant few weeks ago.

So much so, in fact, that he retorted into camera on one nightly tabloid news show:

"I wasn't Leno'd!"

Wasn't he?

The facts have obviously slipped the rotund stand-up-comic's memory - or he's a little slow - on the uptake.

When NBC shuffled their schedule to slot Jay Leno back into his comfortable nook at 11:30 pm - they first approached Conan - with the offer to slide back into the midnight hour.

After due consideration, if you recall, O'Brien turned the peacock network execs down flat.

Georgie boy elected to kow-tow and accepted the slight with a gracious response.

"Sure, boss!"

Whether George likes the comparison, or not, he was Leno'd!

Pride is a terrible thing, George!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Conan O'Brien...CoCo lands talk-fest at TBS! November kick-off...

 

Bad Hair days over for Conan!

 

Once Conan O’Brien wraps up his 3-month tour around the country - which kicks of this week - the quirky comic won’t have much time to throw up his feet and take a breather.

News out of the O’Brien camp - after all - is that the former NBC late night talk-show host will set up shop at TBS.

Looks like Conan slipped through Fox’s trembling fingers.

Although George Lopez has been rustling up respectable numbers in the 11 p.m. slot, the cable network execs were inclined to bump him into the witching hour.

Lopez will hit the airwaves at the stroke of midnight.

An immigrant to the talk-show circuit, Lopez didn't appear to mind stepping aside for a full-fledged citizen, as of press time.

I expect the snub will be a bit of fodder for stand-up comics over the next few days.

Congrats, CoCo!

 Just airbrush out NBC logo, Conan!

http://www.thetattler.biz

NBC Today...shallow female anchors a yawn! Bless Martha Stewart for trying...

I was flipping through the channels on the old boob tube this morning when I spied a news flash on Ricky Martin underway on the 10 o'clock segment of the Today show.

One of the overly-coiffed, shallow female anchors - with all the personality of a slug - was droning on about the recent announcement by Pop Star - Ricky Martin - that he is "gay".

Ho-hum.

Essentially, her report was a watered-down scoff of juicy tidbits gleened from sizzling coverage that flew at lightning speed around the Internet last night by other relevant writers.

After quizzing her equally boring side-kick (on what amounts to a fluffy over-rated morning show) as to why Martin chose to "come out" now, the two proceeded to twitter  non-stop as if they were experts on the topic of homosexuality.

Well, one gal theorized, he is Catholic.

And, the fact he was once adored by nubile young  girls when he was a pop icon with Menudo, must have figured into his reluctance to reveal his sexual preference, too (they concurred).

Uh-huh - the other host with the unattractive stretched-face nodded - in agreement.

"Also, he has those two adorable kids to think about."

They really are his kids the pushier reporter was inclined to pipe up.

"He had a surrogate, didn't he?" the other probed further.

In response, the snippier anchor nodded, then quipped with smug satisfaction.

"We're NBC. We do our research."

Balonie!

Don't these frigid newsies realize that they come off like a couple of condescending bit**es?

Where NBC dredges up these losers, I'll never know.

With bimbos like this populating the terrain, no wonder men are gay, or cheat on their wives!

Not even Martha Stewart could save the Today show this morning.

In spite of the fact I love to cook with honey, too!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Twitter...Jimmy Fallon & guest chat about glitches! Celebrity identity theft...

Did you get that tweet, baby?

Last night, talk show host - Jimmy Fallon - and a guest were griping about glitches at Twitter which were a little unsettling.

What a relief to hear that I am not the only individual in the limelight who has encountered difficulties with respect to logging in, being recognized by the system, getting feedback from technical staff at Twitter, and so forth and so on.

Fallon's guest expressed frustration over the fact that if you're a celebrity - you can't just sign up and tweet up a storm - without getting a shake-down from Twitter staff first.

For instance, well-known actors have to go through a verification process.

Twitter will field various questions, and likewise - engage in a few histrionics to determine "you are who you say are" - for starters.

After all, what is to stop a wicked identity thief from suddenly jumping on the social hub, and misleading fellow tweet afficiandos into believing they are Johnny Depp, let's say.

There have to be some security measures in place, for sure.

A few  months ago, when I casually mentioned in the course of a conversation that Shannon Tweed was following me on Twitter, a friend quipped without hestitation.

"How do you know that it's really her?"

"Well," I fumbled for words, "It is."


I hestitated for a moment, then found myself snapping back to "he of little faith".

"Twitter wouldn't let that happen."

Would they?

In addition, Fallon and his guest, grumbled that even though they provided the right information in the "verification process", the problem was not resolved right away.

"My verification was denied," the actor snorted in disgust.

I feel their twitter pain!

One day, after I posted a tweet about a tribute to Johnny Cash on Facebook, I got locked out!

Every time I attempted to log in, a dialogue box popped up requesting that I try again.

After several failed log-in attempts, I finally tried the old twitter - "retrieve password" - function.

But, to no avail.

Each time I clicked on the link they provided in an e-mail - inputted a new secret password and attempted to log in - I was denied access.

At this juncture, I zipped off an e-mail to twitter and quizzed the technical staff.

"What gives?"

After about two days, the support team responded, and confirmed that somewhat was WRONG!

However, days passed, and no action was taken to alleviate the problem.

A follow-up e-mail failed to rustle up any response (or respect).
So, for about two weeks, I was unable to tweet!

Followers must have thought I dropped off the face of the earth or grown weary of twitter-ville!

Then, this past week, I thought I'd give the log-in the old college try!

Eureka, the magic twitter portal opened magically without explanation, and I was busy happily tweeting away once again!

Perplexing, eh?

Uh-huh!

Life is not always that tweet @ twitter.

Yoko 1st Celebrity to follow me on Twitter!

(or was she?)

http://www.thetattler.biz

Jay Leno Show...Kristen Stewart cough & blogger moi stirring up controversy!

Big-chinned Jay has MoJo back!

Life is uncanny sometimes.

For instance, this evening - after savoring a bit of the night life in Vegas - I strode into my hotel room and flicked on the TV.

As I started to channel surf, I landed on the Jay Leno show, just as he was introducing his first guest Kristen Stewart (Twilight).

Shortly after she alighted in her comfy chair next to he of big chin - and the basic formalities of her intro were were tucked away - Jay made a point of noting that the pretty actress (in a chic black cocktail dress) was a presenter on the Oscars.

"How was that," he asked a little pointedly.

Suddenly, there was a dead silence for a beat as Kristen grappled with the question,

Sensing her loss for words, Jay proceeded to urge here along, by trying to put a few words in her mouth.

"Well, was it okay, or nerve-wracking, or something like that," he queried in so many well-chosen words.

Becausce Taylor Lautner  (co-presenter) exclaimed at a chic Hollywood after-party later that the moment was nerve-wracking, it was apparent to me that Jay had done some research and was orchestratingt an ambush for the sheer delight of it or to generate some controversy.

Gosh, right-off-the-bat, I fathomed where he was going with it.

"Didn't you have a cough, or something?

Kristen, obviously on the spot - and surprised by the line of questioning - struggled with her response.

At this point, the Twilight star noted that during the intro to the Horror genre clips, she got choked up for some inexplicable  reason.

"I coughed to clear my voice. I thought it would be the best way to  clear my throat in front of everyone," she tried to explain.

It was a more polite way to resolve the problem on stage, she added awkwardly.

But, Jay was after more juicy tidbits, because-  rather than drop the issue-  he pursued all the details with a sly grin on his face.

"I suppose that bloggers were right on that, posting about the cough."

Where was the affable host - inclined to play musical time slots now and then - going with this?

Was he leading her on to some logical (tawdry) conclusion?

At first, the poised babe wasn't going to go there.

Instead of piping up "yeah" or  "nay", she was silent for a moment or two (speechless or just taken by surprise?)

For an awkward moment or two, Jay and Kristen sat staring at each other across the desk, eyes locked.

At this juncture, she reluctantly admitted the truth.

"Well, yes."

I laughed out loud!

And, for good reason.

After all, in my report on the Oscars, I personally wrote about the little (cough) upset that unfolded on stage unexpectedly.

Post:  03/08/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/03/oscarshurt-locker-scores-big-amid.html

Kristen proceeded to elaborate on the issue.

People may not havenot  thought so, but I was quite happy to be there, she stressed to Jay.

But, on the other hand, Kristen also admitted it was a bit overwhelming to stroll out in front of millions who were gazing on intently fromthe sidelines around the globe.

To be right there at the "foundation" of an institution "I want to be a part of" - as she put it - was a bit overwhelming.

When Jay and Kristen chatted about the consequence of fame - and the reality of having the media jump on every little misstep like flies on sh** - it dawned on me tonight that the phenomenon also applies to bloggers like me.

For example, on manyan  occasion, I have made an off-handed remark in a post with the express purpose of adding a bit of color  for enterainment's sake.

Without warning - the quip (or observation) - is suddenly a headline in a newspaper the next day - or the topic of discussion on a tabloid gossip show triggering a heated debate.

The glare of the spotlight, I have discovered, is also fixed intently on my own high-profile maneuvers on the Internet.

The whole Kristen incident ends up being downright eerie, in my estimation, when you consider the facts.

One day I mentioned the Kristen incident in a post - then, a few days later - I happen to flip the channel and catch Jay discussing the awkward moment with Kristen on his late-night talk show (out-of-the-blue?)

In the final analysis, it appears that the curious synchronistic events (and the domino effect in the aftermath) were destined to be.

Why?

Ah, that's one of life's mysteries!

Oscar war zone!

 

http://www.thetattler.biz

Jay Leno...Comics tar & feather NBC's strutting peacock...

Will Leno take it on the chin?

Well, if Jay Leno was sprawling on the couch last night - snacking on natchos and flipping channels to rustle up a bit of material for this weeks run of "show" of "shows" - it was probably a tough row to hoe.

No wonder!

All over the night-time TV talk-show terrrain, the slack-jawed comic's contemporaries were tar-and-feathering the peacock network's top dawg!

Dave Letterman lit into him, for example, without mercy.

In a monologue called - "Law & Order: Leno's Victim's Unit" - he lumped the whole sorry cast of late-night comics together (Conan, Fallon & Carson Daly) and branded 'em Leno's victims.

Ouch!

Then, Dave drummed up a hilarious impression of the beleaguered comic - which was pretty darn impressive - according to most side-splitting accounts.

"They just want Conan to quit and go away and do a show in his basement," he later huffed.

Jimmy Kimmel - tossed on a "do" and in-your-face chin - and spiced up the schtik with an acid quip or two.

Will Leno take a swipe back tonight - or, be a goodie-two-shoes - and take it on the jaw?

News at - um - 10!

Contrary to popular belief Dave & Conan not one in the same person!

(just joined at the hip)

http://www.julianayrs.com

Conan O'Brien...howling @ witching hour! No go, says lanky comic...

NBC blows!

If I was forced to quote a line from a comic (or two) to summarize the nasty scenario unfolding at NBC in recent days, I'd  to quote one straight from the comedy duo "Laurel & Hardy".

"Another fine mess you've gotten me into."

Promises promises promises - that don't look like they're going to pan out for Conan O'Brian after all -  eh?

Unfortunately, the other shoe dropped earlier today, when O'Brian officially announced to the strutting peacock brass (in addition to apologizing for his bad hair) that it's a no-go his end for a shot at the witching hour.

In a sly attempt to have their cake and eat it, too, the powers-that-be at NBC tried to wangle a deal to not only keep three of their top money-makers happy, but prevent them from bolting the airwaves of their fourth-place airwaves.

The splashy (!) new line-up would have slotted Leno in at 11:35 pm, with Conan to follow at 12:05 am, and Fallon slipping deeper into the caverns of  insomniac hell.

The proposal - while creative - appears to have been a clever ploy to squeeze Conan out.

Well, it worked magic, alright.

Conan's not mad as hell (and not "not taking it anymore").

In fact, the lanky freckled-faced comic has managed to handle the whole sticky mess with a modicum of style and grace.

In a prepared statement - in addition to noting that we would not drop back thirty minutes to accommodate the proposed re-tooled schedule - the tactful talk-show host cited grounds that would not offend his bosses (or anyone else for that matter).

"I want no part in damaging what I consider the greatest fanchise in the history of broadcasting."

In spite of his reluctance to carry on - he came clean and admitted for the record that he currently has no offers on the table - in response to frenzied speculation that he might jump ship to breeze over to Fox (itching to spark things up in the late-night talk-show arena).

O'Brien's full statement is posted below for your amusement.

People of Earth:

"In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky."

"That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision."

"Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009."

"Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future."

"It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both."

"But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule."

"Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35."

"For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news."

"I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting."

"The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show."

"Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot."

"That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy."

"So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show."

"But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter."

"But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more."

"There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next."

"My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work."

"Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way."

Yours
Conan

Sounds like Conan needs a good divorce lawyer!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Jay Leno Show...mystery solved! Slippery syndicated slope revealed...

Jay & Conan hatch an escape scenario!

Even stupid pet tricks couldn't have saved Leno!

Last week I was confronted with a perplexing situation.

Every time I started to insert "tags" for a post about to be published on the Internet, one for the "Jay Leno Show" would slip into the designated box mysteriously (of its own accord).

If the curious phenomena occurred just once, I might have written it off as just one of those "things", that unexpectedly goes bump in the night now and then.

But, after about five times, my intuitive (psychic) side whispered in my ear that something was up.

Although I didn't know what, I was inclined to keep my focus in that direction.

Sure enough, by the end of last week, the rumors persisted that top honchos at NBC were engaged in serious talks in the boardroom about the Jay Leno Show and its eventual demise.

Confidential inside sources whispered that Jay's show was getting the axe!

Although the network suits denied it, the tongues continued to wag nonetheless.

Finally, over the weekend, NBC brass was ready to cry "give" and admit the awful truth.

The Jay Leno show was dumping big-time in the ratings race!

And, the whole tawdry misstep, was having a domino effect on the peacock network.

Local affilliates saw their ratings dive, for example, when Leno failed to deliver up ratings on a silver platter (as promised?).

Right out of the gate - it was obvious to moi - that the big-chinned comic's try-out in the big leagues wasn't going to pan out.

And, there were a myriad of  reasons, why.

For example, although the tonight show took a short hiatus before revving up for Jay's new incarnation, no one on the creative team appeared to have put much thought or effort into re-tooling NBC's crown jewel.

Did they even bother to add a fresh coat of paint to the set?

Indeed, just beneath the egg-shell surface, the stale old format was poking through.

Sure, the first week out, Leno boasted a smattering of high-profile comics (Jerry Seinfeld, for starters) and a glittering roster of popular actors to act as bait (but once that novelty wore off  it was the same old same old).

The truth of the matter?

A talk show slotted in at 10 pm on a major network just doesn't have the capacity to take off - or sustain itself gangbusters - from the very get-go!

Think about it.

A feature film scheduled for broadcast during the entertainment hour is likely to hit half-time around ten in the evening (and roll the credits just shy of the nightly news).

Unless there is a top notch guest on Leno, it's doubtful many folks would switch the channel and interrupt their popcorn movie.

Granted, if there was a popular guest on one night, viewers might dicker over whether to tune in to catch the much-gabbed-about appearance (if President Obama was guesting, for instance).

But, guess what?

They'd just  flip back to the previous programming once they've satisfied their curiosity.

The ratings bonanza the first week out, was an easy one to fathom, by the way.

TV viewers tuned in en masse to check out the new kid on the block, and to have something to chat about at the water cooler next day at work.

Yup!

Audiences are a fickle lot, alright.

Just ask Jay!

Jay in drag didn't boost ratings even a smidgen!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Elijah Wood...hobbits "Lords of Surf"? Actor has beard...

Elijah's face fuzz dual purpose?

When the diminuitive Elijah Wood guested on the Tonight Show last night, Conan  was quite surprised to hear that the "hobbits" remained in touch.

"In fact, just recently all of us headed off to the beach for a day of surfing," the wide-eyed actor noted to the rapt audience hanging on every word.

Apparently, Orlando Bloom (he portrayed an Elf) was in tow, too.

Which begs the question.

Will there be a sequel to the mega-hit franchise titled:

"The Lords of Surf"?

Wood, who currently sports a ubiquitous neatly-trimmed beard (which overpowers his normally-delicate facial features) also joked about the fact that he is often confused with fellow thespian Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe.

One male fan dashed up on one occasion, for example, and gushed over his alleged performance on stage in the hit play "Equus".

"He thinks he saw me naked on stage," the good-humored star laughed.

In that event, one has to wonder, would Wood be flattered about the mix-up?

Only the little hobbit knows for sure (and those he's bedded, of course!).

http://www.julianayrs.com

Matt Lauer...penis envy?

Matt, a suit showing off a little basket is more preferable!

Today show staff traipsed over to the Art Institute one day this past week to try their hand at sketching the human form.

One of the nude male models - strategically set into frame to avoid any "x-rated" footage popping (!) up on camera - allegedly was hung like a horse.

Lauer was asked if he felt intimidated.

"No," he quipped, as his eyes fell to the crotch area of the uninhibited young stud.

"A bit jealous, perhaps."

I expect Matt's subject was "a shower".

Or, just maybe, the young hottie was aroused by Lauer's attentive gaze at his manhood.

Some dudes are into "daddy-types", after all!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Soap Opera Cruise...splash of daytime drama on high seas! Cameron Mathison hosts...

What a romantic (heavenly) notion!

Sip a cocktail under a full moon on a wide-open adventurous sea surrounded by a bevy of your favorite male soap opera hunks!

I guess I was slow on the uptake.

If it weren’t for a soapie (fan) penning a comment today on a post for daytime TV's - General Hospital - I would have been in the dark about a celebrity-studded “Soap Opera Cruise” that’s fast becoming a big hit around the sudsy circuit!

Although I missed the first get-a-way last year into the exotic realms of soapdom, a 2nd cruise is planned for January.

Already, they are booked to near capacity.

Only twenty cabins remaining!

Last year’s Soap Cruise was so successful that it has become the most anticipated interactive celebrity event of the season.

Celebrity Cruises hopped on board this year to steer the hot! extravaganza! in the right direction which heads out to the sea on Thursday, January 22nd (2009).

The cruise departs from Miami on kick-off day with stops in Key West and Cozumel ( Mexico).

Cameron Mathison hosts once again.

Here is a quick boo at some of the online shenanigans scheduled to unfold on the high-seas voyage.

Cruise Activities

Guests will savor heart-pounding opportunities to mingle with soap stars from Days of Our Lives, All My Children, The Young & Restless, General Hospital, As the World Turns, Guiding Light, One Life to Live and The Bold and the Beautiful.

The interaction starts at the get-go before the ship leaves port.

Lucky cruisers going Bon Voyage this year - will be welcomed aboard by a handful of the most notable daytime celebs on television - for sure.

The scintillating festivities include:

• Meet and greet sessions (autographs)
• photo ops with soap stars
• mix and mingle Cocktail Parties
• Soap Trivia Game exploits
• Acting out segments with stars in tailor-made scripts

Trip Schedule:

• Thursday, Jan. 22nd - Departs Miami 5:00 pm
• Friday, Jan. 23rd - Arrives in Key West at 7:00 am departs at 2:00 pm
• Saturday, Jan. 24th - Arrives Cozumel at 11:00 am departs at 8:00 pm
• Sunday, Jan. 25th - Day at sea
• Monday, Jan. 26th - Arrives in Miami at 7:00 am

One of the cruiseliner’s new attractions is a specialty restaurant featuring a heart of glass.

The “Murano” - situated in the center of the ship - sparkles with magnificent chandeliers in exquisite hand-crafted glass.

The eatery is named after an island off Murano near Venice (Italy, not California, silly) where glass-blowing has been a fine art and tradition since the 13th century.

The "Century’s" dramatic two-level “Grand Restaurant” has been entirely refurbished and retains the glamour and sophistication that made it popular prior to the revitalization.

The high-quality service has won extensive praise each year under the deft direction of the Celebrity Cruiseline's culinary team.

Among the many other dining options onboard Century is a 76-seat Sushi Bar set in a casual Asian atmosphere among a collection of thematic artifacts and fine artwork.

Century’s Ocean Grill, on the other hand, offers an alternative dining area with an upscale ambience where guests can select cuisine ranging from steaks, chops, salads, antipastos and desserts from a fixed menu.

Guests will find fresh made-to-order omelettes and crepes each morning opposite the Ocean Grill and an endless array of pizzas and made-to-order pastas every afternoon and evening in the same location.

For the sweet tooth in everyone, just around the corner, there is a station offering a tantalizing array of homemade ice creams and sorbets.

Pairing refreshing sea air with panoramic views, "Century’s" outdoor Sunset Bar features a full-service bar where guests can enjoy an assortment of fresh tapas and appetizers with cocktails and other beverages.

A Celebrity favorite across the fleet (Cova Café ) is the seagoing version of the stylish coffeehouse in the fashion district of Milan.

The Cafe offers up fresh pastries and cookies to complement its coffees, teas, and other beverages every day. At night, the space transforms into a romantic lamp-lit wine bar with live music.

Exercise in the award-winning AquaSpa onboard "Century" which now features a reception area with the spotlight on a 42-inch LCD TV highlighting spa services; 10 new sea-view treatment rooms; new locker rooms with lounge seating; a beauty salon with enhanced manicure and pedicure bars; a dedicated teeth-whitening station; a Persian Garden with Turkish steam room; three tropical showers; both infrared and Finnish saunas; Celebrity’s first barber shop, and a 54-set Spa Café serving light and healthy cuisine for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Adjacent to the AquaSpa, Celebrity’s Acupuncture at Sea (the only such program in the cruise industry) offers guests acupuncture treatments, therapies and enrichment lectures by licensed doctors of Oriental Medicine.

The fitness center within the AquaSpa area features top-of-the-line equipment throughout, including treadmills and cardio machines with personal LCD TVs, and a variety of strength-training equipment.

"Celebrity" also offers computer training courses ranging from basic program use to web site creation to digital photography within a dedicated space.

An art gallery joins a new array of trendy boutiques in “The Boulevard”.

Here, art connoisseurs have opportunity to purchase one-of-a-kind works, while avid shoppers will find designer beauty products, fashions, leather goods, premium gifts, rare gems, designer accessories, watches and sunglasses within easy buying reach.

“Cool” Clubs and Lounges

Century boasts the first “ice bar” concept at sea within its Martini Bar, which boasts a liquid wall that freezes to form a sparkling crystalline appearance and a bar counter that freezes into ice-cold stone.

A block of ice creatively displays liquor behind the bar but has a practical purpose.

It’s an ultra “cool” way to serve Celebrity’s menu of 30 versions of martinis.

Other newly refurbished cocktail bars include the Crystal Lounge, Michael’s Club jazz/piano bar, Rendezvous Lounge, and the Hemispheres observation lounge and disco.

“X-Treme” is a Teen Travelers lounge installed with a video arcade to help wile the hours away.

The dedicated space includes a dance floor, juice bar, jukebox, and karaoke stage, along with computers offering Internet access.

Stylish Staterooms and Suites features new premium mattresses, 100 percent Egyptian cotton linens, duvets, Euro pillows, colorful bed throws and pillow shams.

Every ocean-view and inside stateroom onboard Century is equipped with new flat-screen TVs, wireless Internet access, new carpet, textiles, windows, lighting fixtures, and art.

The bathrooms have new vanities and enhanced lighting, stylish surface-mounted sink basins and fixtures, curved-rod shower curtains, and renewed architectural surfaces.

Century’s suites were upgraded with new carpeting, wall coverings, windows, textiles, and designer light fixtures. Each is equipped with new phones, 26-inch LCD TVs, DVD players, wireless Internet access, new accessories, and new veranda furniture.

Book Now

There will be a multitude of shore excursions to savor on this Celebrity Cruise.

In the alternative, the discerning guest may choose instead to remain on-board and pamper themselves in the soothing day spa, invigorating fitness center, or cool refreshing pool.

Whether a guest meets and greets a soap star - or simply partakes in an interactive entertainment game in one of the specialty event rooms - the experience is sure to be an entertaining one.

Sign up now, pack your bags, and head off on what is sure to be a dazzling memorable cruise!

Info: http://www.soapcruise.com/

http://www.julianayrs.com

Tom Brady...oh no! Benched for season due to injury!

Benched due to questionable hit...


Poor boy!

A big bruiser on the gridiron - with a tight butt and wide shoulders - knocked football stud Tom Brady down and he went boom.

The end result was a nasty knee injury requiring surgery - that will bench the pro athlete - for the rest of the high-profile season.

Ouch!!!

In a call to NBC earlier today, Brady was upbeat and optimistic, though.

"Everything is OK. It will be exciting to see what the team is made of."

Without you Tom?

A big fat ZERO!!!


Just kidding.

Fans will be keenly observing from the sidelines, and praying for your sake, there'll be a team to huddle back to next season.

Meanwhile, a bit of tender love might get you over the - um - hump.

Eh, Giselle?

A word of advice, though.

The missionary position may not be a great idea just about now, what with your bum knee, and all.

Why not let her ride you from on top?

Just a suggestion, Tom!

Michael Phelps...hits blast blog stats. Phelpsmania roars on!

So, that's how he pulled it off...


Last week the hits dropped off a tad on Michael Phelps posts - but surprise! - come Sunday morning stats reflected a big blast into the blogosphere once again.

Ah, will the Phelpsmania continue at its fevered pitch, like it has been?

I expect the recent jolt at the blog site over the past three days is due in part to the Olympic stud's upcoming stint on Saturday Night Live which is scheduled for September 13th (NBC).

Undoubtedly - fans are frenetically surfing around the Internet for the latest up-to-the-minute news flash - or sexy still - to satiate their undying fascination with the Olympic Gold Medalist who dove gracefully into their hearts this past summer.


Without doubt - the blogosphere cries out for a totally awesome Michael Phelps site - where each delicious tidbit of news, trivia, and dating news (sigh!) - is quickly available at the twittering fingertips to satisfy all the ubiquitous flirts, die-hard fans, and the plain old curious.

A personal diary online, written in Michael's own distinctive script, would certainly light up a cloudy day for the most needy just about now.

And, of course, a scintillating web site - dedicated to a whole slew of heretofore never-before glimpsed scandily-clad images of the Olympic Gold Medalist stud in a far-reaching exotic range of racy speedos - would be welcomed at the drop of one slightly-used Michael Phelps' towel fresh from the Beijing Olympics!

Is he a boxer man, do 'ya think?

News at 11!

Power stroke and bedroom eyes a lethal combination...

Michael Phelps...Saturday Night Live host! NBC. September 13th...

Pool Stud to surface on Late Night Television...


So, you have to wonder on the heels of the announcement that Michael Phelps will host the season opener for Saturday Night Live, what kind of schtick the celebrated swimmer may get tangled up in under the wicked spell of producer, Lorne Michaels.

Phelps has only to stroll out in his skimpy speedo with the eight gold trinkets he won slung around his neck - to satisfy his fans - I expect.

How 'bout an off-beat skit poking fun at the Olympic Champion?

For starters, how 'bout Phelps cruising around Tinsel Town in one of those oversize stretch limos - with jacuzzi in back (bubbly, a must) - with a bevy of bodacious babes in tow who cater to his every every whim?

Yeah, Michael goes Hollywood!

Follow this up with a side-splitting skit featuring Aqua Man being shaken down by the paparazzi in front of The Villa or Koi - Lorne - and a merry chase through the tony streets of Beverly Hills with Phelps half-naked?

Or, how about a sly poke at the trappings of fame, when Phelps goes house-hunting for a ritzy Beverly Hills manse? And, a hilarious bit, haggling with contractors over the semantics of installing a replica of the "cube" in the backyard next to his futuristic digs on stilts overlooking the picturesque hills?

Ah, so many tantalizing ideas!

The show - whatever it unfolds under the guise of - will be broadcast on NBC on September 13th (this weekend).

The 23-year-old Gold Medalist will kick off SNL's 34th season!

Undoubtedly, the network is going full throttle, hoping to scoop up some of those sky-high ratings that followed Phelps around the Olympic lanes.

After all, an unprecedented millions tuned in to the boob tube to root for Phelps, when he competed at the landmark Beijing Olympics.

Of course, at those history-making games, Phelps demolished world records and left the competition in his wake.

The highlight of the races was undoubtedly the moment when Phelps won his 7th Gold Medal by beating a fierce competitor - Milorad Cavic - by the slimmest and most-dramatic margin imaginable.

Yeah, one-hundredth of a second!

But, Phelps went on to nab a perfect score of 8 gold medals out of a possible 8 - and, subsequently - broke Mark Spitz's single-Games record for most gold medals ever won.


Notwithstanding, the icing on the cake included an Olympic record, which garnered Phelps the title of most-decorated Olympian in history.

When the dust settled, he was left holding seven world records in the highly-competitive and exhausting swimming arena.

Dramatic!

Water sports aside, the hunky Olympic hero is also known as a hip-hop artist fan, who racks up a roster of funky tunes on his iPod before the competitions begin.

So, for Phelps - sharing his SNL debut with hip-hop superstar co-host Lil Wayne - must be real sweet!

Let the SNL comedies begin!


This one's for you, Ma!