Oprah Winfrey...shows off butt crack curbside! Honorary Oscar has noses out-of-whack!

Quite a few noses got out-of-whack earlier today when it was announced by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences that the Queen of afternoon schlock - um - talk is going to be given the nod with an Honorary Oscar!

As Barbra Streisand would say:
"Hello gorgeous!"

But, not so fast.  Do a posse of power-players in Tinseltown have the clout to nix the prestigious outfit's unprecedented favoritism?

Meanwhile, I'm still chuckling over all the exposure (!) Big "O" unexpectedly snatched up from the jaws of fate at a chic dinner party night-before-last with the former Governor's wife and handsome teen son in tow (on the mend, by the way).

Once the celebrated trio alighted from the chi chi eatery, the paparazzi immediately began to swarm every which way but loose, as they jockeyed for a perch.

As it turns out, the posse of photogs was Oprah's undoing, alright.

Wouldn't you know it?

For example, when the hefty talk-show Diva bent over to scramble inside the purring limo at the curb (albeit in a cumbersome fashion) a tabloid gossip monger nabbed a revealing shot of Ms. Oprah's butt-crack!

It reminded me of a joke I used to tell when I was a kid (which always got a big laugh, by the way).

You know what I'd buy if I had a million bucks?

A new ass 'cause mine is cracked!

Although mine is a tidy butt, Ms. Winfrey has enough bucks for a truckload of fill, if needed!

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Denny's...value meal priced @ $4.00!

Occasionally, I get an urge for an old-fashioned breakfast consisting of - eggs, pancakes, bacon - to start the day off right.

But, in Las Vegas, you’ll be hard-pressed to zero in on a local eatery that not only serves up a mouth-watering filling meal at an affordable price, but cooked to delicious perfection as well.

Since I was advised to cut back on salt, and be more selective in my diet choices for the sake of my overall health, I generally tend to by-pass Denny’s which is famous for its grand slam which would normally cost a hungry dude about $5.50 tops (unless he  went hog-wild with selection of tasty extras a-la-carte).

What the heck!

Once I spotted Denny’s logo screaming out at me on Vegas Boulevard, I roared in to make a P-I-G of myself yesterday at the crack of dawn.

What a pleasant surprise.

Denny’s is now offering up a value meal - consisting of eggs (how would you like 'em?), bacon (or sausage), pancakes (or toast) - for the princely sum of 4 bucks!

Gosh, did that hit the spot.

And, if you cut back on the syrup and butter and seasoning, you might just stroll out of there without suffering a heart attack from all the heart-clogging cholesterol and fat.

Pass on the coffee - a diuretic, by the way - and slurp down a hydrating ice-cold glass of water instead.

Your skin will be blemish free, because of it.

http://www.julianayrs.com

Heidi Klum...binging & purging? Top Model still sizzling hot!

A couple of the kids on TMZ attempted to quiz Heidi Klum about her thoughts on the Health Insurance Reform Bill on Rodeo Drive but she wasn't biting.

Well, not on that tidbit.

But, the shapely top Model has no qualms about diving into  crusty cheese-laden piece of sizzling hot pizza as the paparazzi gaze on hungrily.

In fact, it appears that Heidi is inclined to cram all manner of nasty junk foods in her yap without batting a pretty eyelash or worrying about the consequences.

How does she do it?

The top model doesn't struggle with weight gain problems.

That's a given!

Here's the insider scoop straight from the chauffeur's mouth.

Shortly after Heidi strolls by the paparazzi (chowing down with abandon on a mouth-watering piece of chocolate or what-have-you) she slips into the plush back seat of the limo purring at the curb and spits the high-calorie cud into a silver champagne bucket.

No kidding!

Unless, it's done with mirrors.

Inquiring minds want to know!

In addition to swimsuits, Heidi stunning in designer threads, too!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Kirstie Alley...big reality! Zoftig star slimming down to size...

The "big" one starred with Shaun Cassidy in Hardy Boys!

Kirstie Alley has been bouncing around the boob tube bellowing about her new reality TV show.

"The Big Life" premieres on A&E on Sunday evening (March 21st).

The fleshy offering tosses the searing lens of the camera on Alley's dumpy frame and her subsequent efforts to slim down as voyeurs around the country peer on in gut-wrenching disbelief.

What a p-i-g (some might utter under their breath); thankful, they're over the hump themselves.

On one early-morning talk show, Ms Alley was quite adamant that her religion - Scientology (more like Science Fiction to me; after all, writer Ron Hubbard wrote in that genre) had nothing to with her decision to go public on the issue of her Highness's "bigness".

One perky host quizzed Alley about her long-term goals in taking on such an - um - hefty assignment.

"It's not about staying slim, because that would be a difficult goal to maintain. To find the right weight for me sounds comfortable (and ideal)."

The likeable zoftig  gal - who once starred on "Cheers" opposite seasoned pro Ted Danson - admits the reality bill-of-fare transformed her ideas about herself a tad  during the course of piecing the project together.

"I wasn't going to worry about touch-ups, but when I caught a glimpse of the footage, I realized I am definitely a make-up girl."

"I'm not going to be perfect-looking like the Kardashians, though" she sniffed.

Athough she appears to have a lusty appetite for male company, the breezy outgoing Alley hasn't seriously dated for about ten years, she confessed.

Years ago, at an awards ceremony, the ballsy broad strode up to the podium to snatch up a coveted Emmy she won, and thanked husband (at the time) Parker Stevenson for the "big one".

That's what got her juices flowing, I guess!

Is she pining for the earth to move once again?

If you read between the lines, I surmise the answer is, yes.

Kristie has a pretty face, and luminous eyes, so a svelte figure is all she needs now to turn heads once again.

Of course, as Jessica Simpson recently lamented on Dave Letterman, guys like something to grab onto apparently.

Post:  03/10/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/03/dave-lettermanjessica-simpson-quote-on.html

Alley is certainly worth her weight in gold in that regard.

While chubby chasers are a rarefied - quirky breed - just betcha there is one waiting in the wings for the TV personality currently rising like a phoenix from the ashes of despair.

You go, girl!

Kirstie poses challenge for make-up gal!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Norm's Restaurant...the pulse of American heartbeat! Artery-clogging chow...

Years ago, Norm's restaurant used to be the place to drop into for breakfast in WeHo.

There were fringe benefits, after all.

Just next door, a stream of hot body-builders flowed through Todd Tramp's gym for concentrated work-outs daily, then usually ended up at Norm's next door for a plate of chow.

Yes, the eye candy was enough to make the senses swoon!

Norm's is well-known for its breakfast combos - one of which, the Four Deuces - consists of two fluffy pancakes, two eggs (as you like 'em) and double portions of bacon strips (crispy!) and sausage links (real greasy, dudes!).

The T-bone steak 'n eggs special (teamed with a side order of biscuits and gravey) is a popular special, too, at reasonable cost.

Truckers, pensioners, and grunt workers pop in often - in part due - to the generous servings and a bottomless coffee jug (with the worst watered-down java in town).

Of course, the high-calorie vein-clogging bill-of-fare here, was always a no-no for the jocks and the lifters from Tramp's gym, especially when they were in training for an upcoming competition.

The fat-conscious buffed dudes were more inclined to gobble up scrambled eggs made with whites only, cottage cheese, fresh fruit of the season, and lean entrees that provided nutrition and energy.

Smart body fuel, in the final analysis.

Unfortunately, when Tramp's gym was shut-down, the passing parade moved on.

If a hungry dude saunters into Norm's Restaurant on La Cienega Blvd these days, he'll likely notice right-off-the-bat, the once-thriving fiftie's-style diner is a pretty dismal eatery to alight in during the course of the day and into the early evening.

After midnight, when nightclubs are in full swing up and down the club strip, things can still get frenzied and lively though.

Occasionally, when I am in Santa Monica, I'll drop in to the location on Lincoln Boulevard for a bite to eat.

My waistline can tolerate the food offered up provided it is not on a regular daily or weekly basis.

If you want to know what middle America is thinking, or are inclined to check the pulse of the common Joe, just listen in on one of the coversations going down at the counter at Norm's.

Yesterday, I sat there amused, as I took in all the banter these working stiffs were offering up.

"I know you're a democrat. So,  'ya won't mind at all if I knock  George Bush," one dude chortled to a rapt audience hanging on every word.

"He belongs in jail," another quipped.

"And, not even a good one. One in Yemen," he added with a dash of glee as a ubiquitous gold chain caught the early morning sun and sent a million little rainbows this way 'n that.

In response, another rabble-rouser levelled an insult at the former President, too.

"Bush is a Nazi."

The diners roared in response.

I was quite surprised to hear one man admit that he actually voted for George W.

Americans smear Bush a lot, but rarely ever admit they put an x by his name, first time out at the polling booth.

Curious, because he got into office, didn't he?

Someone must have voted for the man.

"Reagan was just as bad. He ruined the Unions," another man piped in when the laughter subsided a tad.

The saviour, Barack Obama, did not escape criticism either.

After a brief conversation about Social Security and Benefits - and a spirited discussion about collecting SS checks early - one dude accused Obama of the unthinkable.

"He's dipping into Social Security to pay the bills. You'd better collect now because the money may not be there when you retire," another cynic joked.

Chances are if they continue to eat the high cholesterol blue-plate specials at Norm's, they'll  keel over and die of a heart attack long before then.

I don't know if it was a tall tale - or an exaggeration - but one toothy overweight driver boasted that he was pulling in $110,000.00 a year (plus) delivering packages for UPS (or was it Fedex?).

Pretty good pay for unskilled grunt work, eh?

At this point, someone recognized me at my perch across the counter, and a little bit of whispering started up all around me.

As they grew silent (worried that I might quote them?), I realized I'd gleened all that I could for posterity's sake.

So, I headed out, with a grin on my face.

Yup.

Norm's, is a piece of Americana, where you can check the pulse of the heartbeat of the Nation.

The period architecture is worth taking a gander at, too.

http://www.julianayrs.com

Dallas...Cancer Plaza: A tribute of hope! Richard & Annette Bloch Angels of light...

After AFI Dallas wrapped, I wiled away a few days checking out the local tourist hot-spots downtown.

At Pegasus Square (Main & Akard) a picturesque little park with fresh-water brooks tumbling over whimsical water sculptures - bore an inscription on a rock face which was inspiring.

"Where the hoof of Pegasus hits the ground a well springs forth and the muses come to dance and sing."

But, I was just as touched by a well-manicured patch of greenery a few city blocks away, that I stumbled on later that afternoon amid the seemingly endless hustle and bustle of the downtown core.

The park - Cancer Plaza - was donated by two kind-hearted souls - Richard & Annette Bloch - in a bold-faced effort to raise the consciousness about the killer disease.

With that in mind, the Blochs set informative plaques about the aesthetically-pleasing square, to enlighten passers-by about a course of action to take in order to save the lives of those stricken.

In addition, a couple of sculptures have been installed, to better educate the affliced and their families.

For example, a five-hundred pound granite ball rotates continually in a fountain base at one end of the square.

The Blochs explain that the granite "object" is not unlike a "mass" of cancer cells that are constantly "on the move" in the human body.

Across the way, a striking sculpture consisting of five figures and a maze-like structure, commands attention.

The artist explained the concept.

"Five figures represent cancer patients and their supporters preparing for treatment (represented by the maze) . For this reason, there are expressions of fear, determination and hope on their faces."

"In contrast, three figures at the front of the art piece are joyous, because treatment has been successful."

Here and there about the tranquil setting - in support of the "Tribute to Hope" - the Blochs have not only provided up-to-the-minute facts on "cancer", but also a raft of helpful tips on how to combat cancer on levels beyond physical therapy with drugs.

For instance, it is noted that patients should consider meditation - with the ultimate aim of calming their nerves and reducing anxiety - since a progression of cancer may be triggered by stress-related conditions that adversely affect the immune system.

A regimen of good health, in tandem with a healthy diet, is also urged.

For those who may be overwhelmed, or at a loss to muster up self-help programs on their own to experiment with, the Blochs have provided a 24-hour 800 number to call for assistance.

Info: 1-800-433-0464

http://www.julianayrs.com

*Dedicated to Thelma

Americans...are they constipated? Unhealthy diet to blame...

Lately, wherever I go, it seems that a whole brigade of frustrated dudes are camping out in the stalls of men's rooms - at the local library, truck stops off-highway, and at McDonald's take-out - just about everywhere.

From within the tiny confines of the crapper stall - as I straddle the urinal to take a whiz - I hear a lot of serious grunting and groaning going on.

Almost everyone gets constipated at some time during his or her life.

Lately, there appears to be an epidemic underway, judging from what I have witnessed in recent days.

The normal length of time between bowel movements ranges widely from person to person.

According to experts in the field, some people have bowel movements three times a day; others, only one or two times a week. Going longer than three days without a bowel movement is too long, most agree.

After three days, the stool or feces become harder and more difficult to pass.

Uh-huh, I hear 'ya!

You're considered to be constipated if you strain during a bowel movement more than twenty-five percent of the time, if there are two or less bowel movements in a week, and you experience rock-hard stools more than twenty-five percent of the time, too.

What causes constipation?

The troubling condition is usually caused by a disorder of bowel function rather than a structural problem.

Common causes of constipation include: insufficient water intake, inadequate fiber in the diet, a disruption of regular diet or routine, a lot of travel, lack of activity or physical exercise and/or immobility, and stress.

Ah, so when you consider these factors, it is easy to fathom why men are hunkering down in the "johns" of fast-food joints all around America, straining to get a little movement in their frustrated lives.

For the most part, an on-the-go Joe is not getting enough fiber in his diet, tends to drink too much coffee (as opposed to fresh water), and is not getting enough exercise.

Listen up dudes, 'ya gotta get those pipes in working order, pronto!

After all, proper digestion requires balance, and proper ebb and flow within.

Healthy habits can alleviate the problem.

For example, schedule a bowel movement daily.

And, don’t ignore urges "to go" when the occasion arises while you're on the go.

In fact - the longer a person delays going to the bathroom after the urge first surfaces - the more water may be absorbed from the stool.

Since water helps make stool soft - and easier to pass - delaying the inevitable will only make matters worse!

So, to promote healthy bowel movements, select a specific time each day to trundle off to the bathroom to take one.


After eating is best because you have the opportunity to take advantage of the body’s own natural method of moving food through your system.

The vital bodily process is known as peristalsis.


Specialists note that the "movement" is like a wave moving through the muscles of the digestive system - which narrows first - then propels the food and fluid along without complications.

Because these wavelike movements occur twenty to thirty minutes after a meal - ultimatley - is capable of establishing some predictability and eventual body control over the function.

Notwithstanding, a change in diet may be important, too.

Fruits, grains, protein - that sort of thing - promote good health and encourage healthy bowel movements, by the way.

So, next time I head into the "john", I trust you'll have it down pat.

Bottom line?

Sh**, or get off the pot!


*Natural remedies like Flaxseed oil are preferable
*Shiatsu masseurs focus on pressure points to heal the ailment