Levi unzipped?
Well, Levi Johnston is taking a second shot at his fifteen minutes of fame.
And, like the mythical phoenix (a person or thing of peerless beauty or excellence that has become renewed or restored after suffering calamity) he has risen from the ashes of a torched political campaign to seek his rightful place in the sun.
But, he's a strange hybrid, that Levi.
While Brooke Shields wouldn't let anyone come between her Levis, the virile young dude from the wild Great White North, is ready to bare all of his studly assets (to the highest bidder, of course!).
So far, it's all been a co** tease!
Unfortuntely, the groundwork has been shakey from the get-go, for the intrepid interloper.
A caller on a local talk show ranted:
"How dare he!"
Of course, the irate Palin fan was scorning Levi for stabbing Sarah Palin in the back (and front, it would also seem) in a fabled tell-all in a recent Vanity Fair interview.
In sum, he's a snake!
"She was the one who put him in the spotlight," she seethed.
No matter.
The so-called allegations caused many to shrug in disbelief anyway.
For starters, the square-jawed turncoat offered up fodder that didn't fall right as rain, if you know what I mean.
Why would Sarah Palin and the 1st Dude bandy about thoughts of divorce while Levi (the wide-eyed boy-child) was idly sitting by scarfing up every delicious morsel?
Another outrageous allegation - the revelation that sky-rocketed the little innocent into the limelight with promises of fame and fortune in more recent days - also didn't hold up from the get-go.
If you recall, Levi tattled to everyone within earshot that when Bristol became pregnant, the Palin's offered to adopt the child when it was born (in secret) so no one would know the ugly truth.
You betcha - thus salvaging - the former ice - um- beauty Queen's political career.
Guess what?
The conversation - according to the calulations of a handful of intelligent folks of the common-sense variety (if we're to ever believe it took place) apparently transpired before the VP slot was ever offered to the Alaskan Governor!
Duh!
Even still, a fashion lay-out in Vanity Fair roped in a handful with a weakness for eye-candy.
In fact, "Unzipped" (a gay rag that plies studly male flesh to horny young dudes around the country) was the first to jump on the bandwagon and offer up big bucks for candid shots of bare-naked butt and the man-tool the kid's supposed-to-be packing up front.
"Sure, we'd love to have him (?). He's rugged. A man's man," a spokesperson from the skin mag noted in a slightly theatrical tone of voice.
Excuse me!
Bitchiness is a very poor quality in a fella, dude!
Will the media whore bite, though?
Sure, the fashion lay-out was flattering - Levi cut a fine swath in designer threads, in fact - but as one astute pundit laughed.
"How can you take him seriously when he's hanging out with B-lister Kathy Griffin?"
Nuff said!
Media darlings, oy veh!
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