Barack Obama...Vons asking for donations to Special Olympics!

In line at Vons supermarket yesterday, a cashier asked me if I'd like to make a donation to the Special Olympics.

When I turned my head to a shopper next to me with an expression of disbelief on my face (in view of the Obama boo-boo which occurred on the Tonight Show Thursday Night) their reaction was the same!

Yeah, their jaw dropped, too.

A coincidence?

Or, was Vons seizing the day and playing on public sympathy to rustle up funds?

"Not today," I responded politely. "But, I expect Obama may want to."

"Right," the hefty amazon woman muttered almost under her breath, as my change fell into the coin box in front of me.

Personally, I hate being taxed at the check-out when I shop for groceries, no matter how worthy the cause.

And, how was your day?

http://www.julianayrs.com

Joaquin Phoenix...losing it? Rehab on the way...

At the glittering red carpet premiere of Che at Mann's Chinese a few weeks ago, it was obvious to the paparazzi on hand that something was out-of-whack with Joaquin Phoenix!

As the well-heeled elite exited sleek limos that purred at the curb and sauntered up the press gauntlet into the much-anticipated screening, one wild and woolley-looking dude was inclined to go against the natural flow and stroll down the carpet to a perch near the street.

Once recognized, the actor caused quite a stir!

When a couple of celebrity interviewers tossed a handful of questions his way, Phoenix was mum for a second or two.

Then, the controversial actor did something strange.

He clenched his hands and thrust them forward into the crowd to reveal two words scribbled on his unkempt fingers.

"Good Bye"

A buzz rippled through the press corps.

Had the off-beat actor gone mad?

Then, I personally spied Joaquin whip a flask out of his jacket pocket and guzzle down a huge gulp of the mysterious liquid inside.

One for the road?

Next day, on the heels of this odd-ball behaviour, news zipped around the Globe.

Phoenix was calling it quits to become a rap star!

And, at the tail end of February, the retired thespian made good on his promise.

He actually turned up at a low-key Vegas joint to utter a few catchy rap beats.

In tow, was Casey Affleck, who was filming the entire fiasco for a documentary he'll release on the nutso actor-turned-rapper later in the year.

But, if a tumultuous appearance this past weekend at another watering hole was any indication, his stab at incoherent fast-mumbling may not pan out as expected.

Shortly after the poet in-his-own-mind stumbled on stage, a heckler got his goat - at which point - he scurried into the audience to confront the red-neck interloper.

Allegedly, security dragged Phoenix back towards the stage, then tossed him out of the spotlight into the street.

Was that a rap - um - wrap?

News at 11!

Gladiator role best acting assignment to date

http://www.julianayrs.com

Breast "reading"...siliconfidence signals false sense of security according to experts!

A couple of DJ's in Vegas day-before-yesterday were either high on the stuff that Phelps has been smokin' lately or - just maybe - were suffering from a jilted night out on-the-town - and thus - a classic case of the hang-over blues.

I've heard of phrenology (study of bumps on the scalp), palmistry (hand analysis), and even intuitive interpretations of facial characteristics.

But breast reading?

With dead earnest (is there any other kind?) the talkative duo were engaged in a lively discussion about a recent study (!) that conjured up a novel theory that the shape, size, and the bounce factor in a women's breasts (and even the extent of perkiness in the nipples) were a surefire way to ferret out a potential mate's personality traits.

"Wanna trek over to my digs and have your breasts read," may turn out to be the cleverest pick-up line to come down the pike in years, dudes!

"What about augmented t**s," one jock innocently queried his buddy on air.

"Oh, yeah! Women with breasts implants are usually career gals."

According to the quirky broadcasters, c-cup boosters tend to be wanna-bee models or actresses who either pine to sling their jugs (of beer) at Hooters or claw their way onto a sleazy casting director's couch in order to snag a role as a Swedish milk maid - let's say - in an independent film with a bit of soft porn titillation thrown in.

"Usually, they end up suffering from silaconfidence," one of the astute disc flappers divulged to the rush-hour audience without skipping-a-beat.

"Silaconfidence develops from a false sense of security."

Apparently, the lusty babes get a boost in esteem for a brief interim; but - shortly thereafter - their confidence ends up sagging much the same way their breasts do once gravity sets in.

So, ladies, dont' fall into the booby-trap!

After all, it's your personality that counts bottom-line with the dudes, right?

An unknown author said it best:

"Men often give love for sex, women often give sex for love."

Nipple play a homoerotic fantasy for some dudes!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Brett Favre shocks fans & NFL. Retires from football...again!

When I flipped on ESPN for all-the-world it appeared there was an obituary underway!

Clips of a professional athlete's illustrious 18-year career on the gridiron, a run of impressive stats sure to make any young all-star football wanna-bee cream his jockstrap, and a few teary-eyed moments when pent-up emotions were inclined to slip to the surface unexpectedly and speak volumes about the man.

Of course, all the airwaves were awash with the news, too.

Brett Favre plucked up his cell bright and early this morning and informed the managers and owners of the Jets that he was quitting football - again!

The news media breathed a sigh of relief!

Maybe the mercurial Favre finally meant it?

"He's fooled us so many times," one reporter chortled.

But, many are tittering that this is surely the end to a brilliant stretch on the field, at long last.

Of course, there is the issue of Favre's age.

Off-season, a player needs time to recover from injuries.

With the older dudes, well, the process takes longer.

Has Favre been struggling to meet the challenge?

Maybe that's where performance-enhancing drugs come into play for a handful of desperate athletes?

"For an older football-player, it's tough," one commentator opined.

After all, football - sports enthusiasts lament - is a year-round game.

Yeah, the players may have a few weeks off, but they're back on the field shortly thereafter interacting with their team-mates, getting all-primed-up and ready to charge forward in the upcoming season.

"It's all about timing and chemistry. If the quarterback isn't going to show off-season for the practices, it's bad for the morale of the team."

Some speculated that coaches, managers, and team owners weren't going to afford major players such luxuries in the future.

As to Favre's retirement, does the pro stud mean it this time?

Insiders speculate that this is definitely the closing chapter of an exciting football career - fraught with highs and lows - but one that assures Favre a memorable place in the prestigious annals of Football History.

According to Wikipedia

Favre was the first player to win the AP MVP three times (1995–97) in NFL history, and led the Packers to seven division championships in 1995, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, and 2007, four NFC Championship Games in 1995, 1996, 1997, and 2007, two NFC Championships (1996 and 1997) , and one Super Bowl Championship (XXXI).

He holds a number of NFL records including: most career touchdown passes (464), most career passing yards (65,127), most career pass completions (5,720), most career pass attempts (9,280), most career interceptions thrown (310), most consecutive starts among NFL quarterbacks (269; 291 total starts including playoffs), and most career victories as a starting quarterback (169).

The handsome jock wasn't any slouch on the field, that's for sure.

One sportscaster enthused:

"He played hard, won championships, and gave it his all."

What now for Favre?

Another comeback (didn't think I'd really flake out, did 'ya dudes?), endorsements - just maybe - sports-casting duties?

It's written in the wind that flew beneath his cleats!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Christian Bale...KROQ jocks pat selves on back! Attack mode for media...

Who's sweating?

KROQ disc jockeys gave kudos all 'round this morning on air.

Yup, they patted themselves on the back.

"Why did they want to interview us," one sleepy-headed disc flapper queried his co-workers, who were chortling it up on the low-brow talk fest.

"Because Bale came to us. No one else had the story."

"Yeah, he said we made him laugh all week, so that's why he dialed in," another airhead boasted on the sidelines in the studio.

Then, the gang of merry pranksters played a clip of a reporter from "Extra" who interviewed the KROQ staffers.

It's kind of like a snake eating itself up, one cackled.

"Yeah," another chimed in, "it's like the pilot at a plane crash. If you can't talk to the pilot, then latch onto a bystander to get the goods."

"We were the only ones Bale would talk to, that's why."

According to the Extra staffer, this is what went down.

"It was completely off the cuff with KROQ disc jockeys," he excitedly reported to his rapt audience.

"It wasn't planned, so they weren't prepared with any questions or anything."

At this juncture, they proceeded to tear him to shreds!

So much for biting the hand that feeds you, eh?

The dudes were inclined to also take jabs at a female reporter at highly-rated TV news show - the obnoxious inflections in her voice and the overly-dramatic use of sensational adjectives and colorful superlatives, in particular - and the manner in which she described the wild Bale "tirade" which had the country wagging their tongues all last week.

In fact - in spite of the fact they criticized others for much ado about nothing - the dim-witted jocks continued with their field day ad nauseam as they took pot shots at bloggers, lambasted newsies on the net, and so forth and so on.

"It was as if Bale's apology wasn't enough. Too late," one scoffed.

"Did they expect Bale to come to their home in person?"

At this point, a female employee noted that during the tirade the hothead actor appeared to carry over with his "American" accent during the dressing-down of the Director of Photography.

Indeed, on air on Friday, Mr. Bale had a noticeable English accent which was the norm.

So, bored fools that they are, they proceeded to muse aloud.

"Do you suppose he was so in character that it was difficult for him to step out of that intense acting situation?"

On the heels of this insightful remark (!), they theorized that the Bale incident may prompt filmgoers - and the curious - to take in the flick when it is released, so they can fathom for themselves what kind of intense acting he was involved in that resulted in such a bizarre turn-of-events to unfold for almost four minutes on set.

Just maybe, it was all a publicity stunt concocted by Bale, to prop up a flailing career?

Yeah, those Dudes at KROQ are such lapdogs!

They'll eat anythin' up!

When it comes down to it, judging by what I heard bright and early at the crack of dawn, they're just a bunch of inglorious bast**ds with sh** for brains!

http://www.julianayrs.com

New York Times Travel Show...explore destinations! Take an adventurous turn down life's path...

Wild winter storms descend and prevail, and the doom and gloom of the channel surfing season, is upon us!

What better time to jet off to some exotic locale, sip on a cocktail, and toast life?

If the pocketbook and lack of funds hinder an adventure from the get-go, then toss on your spiffy topcoat and head down to the New York Times Travel show.

You can fantasize, can't you?

500 destinations and enticing trip ideas can be tailored to suit any discerning traveller's schedule, picky travel style, and budget.

Travel Seminars

At Travel Seminars throughout the day, experts in all areas of travel will host spirited presentations on a wide range of topics, including info on cruises, gay-themed travel, and tips on how to land the best deals.

Highlights tomorrow include the following:

American Express (The Luxury-Included Difference)

Alice McCalla of Sandals and Beaches Resorts explains how travelers can find the right Caribbean package for them and their family, including honeymoon packages, family vacations, and couples trips.

Global Shopping Tips from a World Class Shopper!

Radio host Stephanie Abrams of Travel WITH Stephanie Abrams and Traveling Feet has bought everything from furniture in Asia, art in Europe, and a Bentley in England.

Join her as she takes you shopping globally with tips on what to buy, where to find bargains, saving enough money on your purchases to offset the trip cost, getting your purchases home while dealing with airline luggage restrictions and fees, and making the ultimate purchase to protect your travel investment and you from unexpected additional expenses.

Afterward, join Abrams at Booth 1000 for autograph signing, answers to your personal travel questions, and an opportunity to win prizes.

STAGE PERFORMANCES

At the cultural stages, Professional Chefs, Dancers, musicians and singers will take you on an entertaining journey that covers the globe, throughout the entire weekend.

SPA PAVILION

Take a break from all the action with a soothing back massage and learn about today's hottest spa destinations at the Spa Pavilion, open during show hours.

GIVEAWAYS, CONTESTS & SWEEPSTAKES

At past shows, travelers have won trips to locations as diverse as Scotland and Iceland.

This year, there are many tantalizing give-a-ways

Hudson Valley Traveler (Booth# 756)

Win a fully customized itinerary to experience the best of the Hudson Valley. Includes one overnight accommodation and three meals.

Win an overnight trip, hot balloon ride, sailing outing, rock climbing guiding, overnight stay & spa treatment, bike history tour, autographed book, or kayaking, all in the Hudson Valley!

Context Travel - Booth# 474

Drawing of a private 3-hour walking seminar led by a Context scholar in any of the eight cities where we operate: Rome, Paris, London, New York, Florence, Naples & Istanbul.

DK Eyewitness Travel (Booth# 158)

Visit Eyewitness Travel booth to receive a FREE copy of the best-selling DK top 10 New York City. The guidebook- and all Top 10 Guides -includes a free, pull-out map & guide. While supplies last.

Rough Guides (Booth# 158)

Visit the adjacent Rough Guides booth to pick up a FREE Rough Guide tote bag, made of super-durable polypropylene. Let Rough Guides help you make the most of the travel show by giving you a "Make the Most of Your Time on Earth" tote for stowing goodies from the show! While supplies last.

Bresciatourism (Booth# 655)

Visit booth 655 and receive free postcards and posters

Universal Orlando (Booth# 855)

Visit booth 855 for your chance tro win (4) 2 Park Fun, Food and Drink combo tickets. Experience 2 amazing theme parks and all food+drinks only at Universal Orlando resort
Hotel de La Montagne 647 Hotel de la Montagne, located in the heart of downtown Montreal. Visit our booth and you have a chance of winning a 2 nights stay with dinner and breakfast for two.

The Appalachian Mountain Club (Booth# 1035)

Live appearance and book signing by: Fran Capo, World Record holder, comedian, and adventurer; and Greg Miller, award winning world photographer signs The Hudson River: A

The Hamptons & North Fork Wine Country (Booth# 852)

Win a Hamptons & North Fork Wine Country Getaway for Two! The world-famous Hamptons beach resort and acclaimed North Fork Wine Country on the East End of Long Island is your perfect getaway for two! Enjoy wine tours and tastings, lunch, dinner, a two night stay, and more!

Martinique Promotion Bureau (Booth# 304)

CMT USA Martinique and its Hotels Partners are glad to offer a 5-night hotel stay for two in a 3-star property, breakfast included. Come to Martinique Booth # 304 for your chance to win!

EZ Italy (Booth # 476)

Stop by our booth for a chance to win 3 nights’ accommodations in Rome at the centrally located Oxford Hotel. Includes breakfast daily, hotel service charges, and VAT taxes.

Six stages are also designated to family activities.

Also, attend demonstratons on a myriad of culinary delights!

Location
Jacob K. Javits Convention Center
NYC

Tickets
$15

Children 18 & under admitted free with parental supervision.

The New York Times Travel Show, presented by American Express, offers a $5 discount per ticket when completing a purchase with an American Express Credit Card.

Info: http://www.nyttravelshow.com

http://www.julianayrs.com

Barack Obama...2nd Oath-taking episode stupid!

Barack, never trust a wrinkly old white dude to get it right

If the incident over the "Oath of Office" is any indication of what is to come in the new administration, God help us!

Yesterday, when Justice Roberts was administering the "Oath", he inadvertently uttered the word "faithfully" out of sequence.

When the gaff rang out in the hushed hall, Mr. Obama hesitated for a moment before proceeding to follow Roberts' cue.

There was much speculation during the course of the day that the new President was keenly aware that the phrasing was incorrect - but out of respect for Justice Roberts - chose to recite the words "his" way.

Later, Obama was dogged by foes on the issue, in spite of his kindness.

On the heels of the snafu, there was wild speculation that in view of the botched proceeding, Obama's Presidency was not legit

What a load of hogwash!

It is the intent of the words in the "Oath of Office", that is of paramount importance, not how they are phrased or set forth in a ceremony.

Notwithstanding, Obama and his gang of young tax cheats and foundation-funding thieves, sprang into action and arranged for a second shot at the brass ring.

The first one was just a dress rehearsal, 'ya see?

High-powered lawyers were in accord with the idea of a repeat performance, too.

Understandably.

Crossing the "t's" and dotting the "i's" is a big bucks industry!

But, as luck (or fate) would have it, the second take was not without fault either.

All the President's brilliant young foils forgot to proffer up a Bible for Obama to swear on.

Although White House staff pooh-poohed the notion that Obama has yet to get it "right", the oversight is quite telling, isn't it?

In the final analysis, are the "Oaths of Office" taken by Barack Hussein Obama, binding in the eyes of God?

I find it ironic that the word "faithfully" was what tripped up Obama and is at the center of the controversy.

A Freudian slip, of sorts?

Yes, the little snafu hammers home a point.

Will the 44th President be faithful to "the people"?

Months from now, when voters get disillusioned and grumble about this 'n that (as they undoubtedly will, such is the nature of the beast) a handful will look back to that dark day yesterday and muse.

Was it an omen of what was to come?

Nancy Gibbs once said:

"For the truly faithful, no miracle is necessary. For those who doubt, no miracle is sufficient."

http://www.julianayrs.com/

George Bush...regrets Iraq intelligence data incorrect!

Now that the George Bush presidency has started to wind down, the feisty Texan has had the opportunity to reflect a little on his term in office, as he prepares to pack his saddle bags and mosey on back to the ranch.



In an interview with Charlie Gibson on ABC News, the oft-criticized political leader startled viewers around the country when he fessed up about one blunder in particular.



Iraq.



On the highly-rated night-time news show, Bush noted for the record - when asked about his legacy - that his biggest regret was getting the intelligence wrong in Iraq.



"I think I was unprepared for War," he admitted without shame.



Funny that.



In a conversation with a friend the other day, I pointed out that when Bush took office, he was dealt a bad hand.



If you recall, shortly after he took office, 9/ll - an terrorist attack unprecedented in U.S. History - fell in his lap out of the clear blue sky one day.



Bush was inclined to argue further.



"I didn't anticipate War. One of the things about the modern presidency is that the unexpected will happen."



In sum, Bush noted that he didn't campaign with the promise that if the American people voted for him he'd be able to handle an attack.



Fortunately.



John McCain sought votes on that premise and he lost the election!

Deep Throat...a sequel to the porn hit! James Dean & Beatles gossip to chew on...

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Blog Action Day...Mahatma Gandhi on "hunger" and pauperism in the world!

"I suggest that we are thieves in a way.

If I take anything that I do not need for my own immediate use and keep it, I thieve it from somebody else.

It is the fundamental law of Nature, without exception, that Nature produces enough for our wants from day to day; and if only everybody took enough for himself and nothing more, there would be no pauperism in this world, there would be no man dying of starvation."

Mahatma Gandhi