A Surreal Moment...triggers out-of-body experience!

Yesterday, after nearly being struck down by a Shuttle bus at a side entrance Wynn  Resort, I found myself in a long queue snaking in front of a public recreation facility alongside about thirty other individuals (locals and tourists alike) chompiing at-the-bit for the doors to swing wide open.

For one brief moment, I half-turned on the steps to check the parking lot behind me.

Bad idea!

One of the locals spied me in line - at which point - a strange phenomenon erupted all around me.

At first, there was just one quiet whisper.

"Do you know who that is?" one young woman quizzed her friend, as she elbowed her in the side.

Within minutes, all of the patrons were pointing me out to each other, as the decibel level in the cramped entrance way soared.

I caught snatches of the conversation - snippets of gossip - about me!

Suddenly, without warning, my consciousness appeared float up above the restless crowd.

The moment was surreal and not unlike an out-of-body experience!

At one point - I felt like was outside of myself in another dimension - looking "in" on the scene below from beyond.

Was it all my imagination?

How did I appear to the folks gathered around me?

At this point, a guard arrived and unlocked the door, so I scrambled inside to take a respite from it all.

But, I was numb, and feeling for all-the-world like a zombie.

Frankly, I was buzzed for about two hours or so, before I could collect my thoughts and think straight once again.

I can imagine how Justin Bieber (or Lady Gaga) must feel when they are swarmed by a host of adoring fans.

It's quite a surge of adrenalin, alright.

http://www.thetattler.biz

Mr. Manners (aka Julian Ayrs)...how to approach a celebrity!

Sometimes being famous has its perks.

Like today, for instance.

I was standing in line at McDonalds in downtown Las Vegas when a young woman spied me in the crowd and proceeded to point me out to the other customers.

"He writes lovely poems," she beamed.

Unfortunately - when I normally saunter into a fast-food joint, pharmacy, or retail outlet - the cashier's jaw usually drops as he (or she) proceeds to stutter and stammer and stare (and ultimately act like they have a piece of poop stuck between their fleshy butt-cheeks).

And - even total strangers attempt to glom onto 'ya - when least-expected.

For instance, yesterday I was walking along the Fremont Street experience when a young woman sidled up to me and tried to strike up a conversation.

At that juncture, I sped up my walk and attempted to glide off as politely as possible.

"Where are you going," she demanded after me.

Excuse me?

I, for one, am not in the habit of reporting my travel plans for the day to a total stranger on the street!

How 'bout you?

Today, I sat down next to a fellow at a quick take-out (after neglecting to listen to my "inner voice" which advised me to sit elsewhere across the packed eatery) who promptly began to intrude on my personal space.

Within minutes, he was quizzing me about this 'n that - 'til finally - I was forced to inform the gent that I was quite pressed for time (and thus) unable to hold court (thank you very much!).

Obviously, this was an issue for Mr. Manners to deal with post-haste!

Folks, it's all in the approach.

Celebrities don't mind posing for a photo or signing an autograph provided they are approached in the appropriate manner and at an opportune time.

For instance, famous people - like any regular "Joe"- would prefer to eat their meal in peace when out-on-the-town for dinner.

Wait until the last crumb of dessert has been wolfed down before making a fly-by attempt at a signature for heaven's sake!

And, when privacy is an issue, stand clear - eh?

For example, years ago Paul Newman recalled that he was standing at a urinal in a mens room one day, when a fan strode up and asked him for his autograph.

"I wanted to half-turn and pee on his leg," he laughed to the talk-show host.

Imagine that!

Proper etiquette dictated that a fan should have waited until Newman had sufficient time to at least "shake off" the last dew drops of piss from his penis (don't 'ya think?).

It's a guy thing.

And, don't just rush up and snap away in a celeb's face, eh?

They hate that as much as they hate being caught with a bit of spinach caught between their teeth!

If they are in a lively conversation with someone else when you catch them in your net?

Please wait until their gab fest with the other fan ends before barging in.

And, if possible, avoid questions pertaining to their pending divorce, a sex scandal, or how much money they make.

Uh-huh.

These lines of questioning are sure "turn-offs" which may land you a punch in the face.

But, may rustle up a lot of moolah, once the lawsuit is settled out-of-court.

Happy Hunting, eh?

http://www.thetattler.biz

A Taste at The Grove...Celebrity Chefs! Culinary Delights! Mix @ VIP Cocktail Party!

On Saturday, June 25th, Cadillac is hosting an eclectic soiree sure to be the jazzy upscale event of the season!

Locals, and tourists alike, are invited by the staff at Los Angeles Magazine to attend a smorgasbord of culinary delights, cooking demos, and scrumptious food sampling from a handful of reputable high-quality restaurants catering to elite clienteles in the Los Angeles vicinity.

Celebrity Chefs will be whipping up their specialties and include the likes of Alberto Bini, Alejandra Schrader, Ali Mookhi, Anthony Jacquet, and Debbie Lee.

For an invite to a chi-chi VIP cocktail par-tay when the sun sets in the west later in the evening, just test drive a Cadillac at the Grove during the hours of 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.

See 'ya there!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Art of Motion Picture Costume Design...timely dazzling display Oscar-ready! FIDM Museum!



How timely!

Folks zipping in to town this weekend to scout down a perch with the specific aim of getting a glitzy eyeful of the red carpet Oscar celebrations at the Kodak Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard on Sunday afternoon - also have a golden opportunity to get up-close-and personal with a dazzling array of exquisite movie costumes on display at the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising (FIDM) in the downtown core of the thriving Mmetropolis on South Grand Avenue.

The celebrated organization is honoring their 19th year in operation on the West Coast.

The one-of-a-kind collection includes delightful ensembles crafted for noteworthy feature films such as - "Inception",  "Alice in Wonderland", "Wolfman", and "Shutter Island" - to name a prestigious few.

The aesthetic fashion tease may inspire a posse of film fans to surf over to the design facility's well-designed website for a gander at a bevy of unique outfits offered up in rich multi-media and on streaming video!

Project Runway, anyone?

The Los Angeles-based campus houses both a "Permanent" and a "Study Collection" which consists of over 12,000 exciting costumes, chic accessories, and a myriad of lush textiles from the 18th Century through the present day (including those whipped up for film and theatre productions around the globe).

The stunning well-rounded exhibition is one of the largest of its kind in the United States, in fact.

A handful of the top designers with splendid costumers on display include those by Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, Dior, and Lacroix.

The Museum also boasts a period Hollywood Costume Collection on loan from the City of Los Angeles (Department of Recreation and Parks).

RESERVATIONS

213.623.5821
(Ext # 3367)

The Annette Green Perfume Museum, the only one of its kind in the U.S., is on display permanently and dedicated to the historical and cultural role of fragrance around the world.

A smattering of the scents are situated on the 2nd floor of the institute.

Paris Hilton eat your heart out, eh?

The "Mission" of FIDM is to provide students, educators, scholars, and industry personnel with a costume and textile resource so that they are able to explore (and examine) the role of costumes and textiles in their relationship to society and history.

The collection is sustained with standard museum practices for continued acquisition and preservation of costumes and textiles with a focus on the development of education, exhibition, outreach, and volunteer programs.

History

The FIDM Museum & Library, Inc. was founded in 1978.

Since January 1999, the museum operations have been separate from the Library, in order to offer up more specialized care and attention to the specific needs of the costume collection and museum-trained personnel (who have since been recruited for staff positions).

LOCATION

919 South Grand Avenue
Los Angeles, CA

http://www.fidmmuseum.org

HOURS OF OPERATION

Tuesday - Saturday
(thru April 8th / 2011)

10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

See 'ya there!

http://www.thetattler.biz



Popular FIDM exhibits!

Fame...or dillusions of grandeur? Dark glasses keep folks at bay!

Normally, when I go about my business, I attempt to do so humbly and in a down-to-earth fashion as I maneuver my through the teaming masses all about me.

As I have noted previously, because of the high-profile nature of my posts at the Tattler - which run the gamut on a myriad of subjects both tame and controversial in nature - I am occasionally spotted in the crowd.

In fact, over the past few months the searing spotlight has become so intense, that I have found the phenomenon awkward to deal with now and then.

When folks spy me, then turn to friends and whisper.

Do you know who that is?

The experience tends to be a bit un-nerving.

Instead of moving on, folks tend to stand transfixed on the spot - as their jaw literally drops - and they take on the appearance of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

At this juncture, I generally give a little nod of encouragement - hold myself up as gracefully as possible - and meander on out-of-harm’s way.

Over the weekend, I encountered an unpleasant confrontation, when I struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler on public transportation.

“You look familiar. What do you do,” the hefty young black African woman quizzed.

“Oh, I’m a writer,” I found myself uttering up.

“Really?” she asked wide-eyed.

Uh-huh!

“Do you just like to think you are, or do you make your living doing that,” she probed further.

For moment, it was refreshing to encounter an individual who was unfamiliar with my blog, and the fame recognition that came with it.

So, I was inclined to continue the conversation expecting the interchange to be innocent enough.

But, the woman’s mood quickly changed as I revealed a few facts.

“I have advertisers on my web site and they generates revenue,” I noted.

“They pay for ads,” she continued a tad perplexed.

She was obviously clueless about bloggers like myself, so I made a bold-faced effort to help her along.

“Do you know who Perez Hilton is,” I innocently asked at this juncture.

“Oh yes,” she responded with enthusiasm.

“Well, I’m kind-of-like Perez, but our styles are quite different.”

When I innocently revealed that on occasion I felt like I was an alien from outer space when browsers from the Internet recognized me on the street, she reacted angrily.

“Boy. You're so grandiose,” she accused, as she began to scrutinize me up close.

"What do you mean," I probed further, since her comment didn’t appear to make any sense in view of the way in which I handle my fame.

“No one recognizes you,,” she hissed.

“You’re just imagining it.”

Of course, I nearly laughed out loud, since the notion - in view of my daily experiences out in the public domain - was so wild and preposterous.

“I know who I am,” I found myself responding.

But, the strange encounter reminded me - that no matter how successful or famous an individual becomes  - there will always be someone who is out-of-the-loop.

Just last year, if I am not mistaken, Bob Dylan was thought to be a "bum” by some silly fool who didn’t recognize the musician wandering about his property.

Daily, there are many ironies that underscore the reality of fame (and how fleeting it is).

When a celebrity slips and falls into a prickly cactus bush, there is a posse of paparazzi there, who is at-the-ready to spring into action and capture the star-turn on film.

The same individual may walk into a bank to cash a check, and find themselves  rudely badgered by a cashier, who has no idea who the celebrity is.

In sum, it's a humbling experience, wise to pay heed to.

Otherwise, the “celebrity” will find themselves in an unpleasant exchange in which they end up being criticized for bellowing an old familiar lament to some common Joe in a restaurant or on the street.

“Don’t you know who I am?"

Ouch!

The scenario goes down, alright, but - when it does - it’s usually an unpleasant experience that leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

The jarring conduct of the woman taught me a lesson.

In the public arena, it’s best to slip gracefully among the common masses, with as little contact as possible.

The old-fashioned idea of striking up friendships with strangers by invitation only in accordance with polite society makes more practical sense in a global community that is fast-becoming cold and unfeeling and rife with bad manners and rude conduct.

I am reminded of an old biblical saying:

“Never throw pearls before swine.”

Amen!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Gary Coleman...dies @ age 42! 42 minutes ago...

Cast of Different Strokes!

News alert!

Sources have confirmed  that actor - Gary Coleman - died of a brain hemorrhage forty-two  minutes ago at the age of 42.

The diminuitive star of - Different Strokes - struggled with ill-health and financial difficulties in recent months, but always remained optimistic.

Gary Coleman is survived by his wife Shannon Price.

Stay posted for updates!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Celebrity...Sarah Palin & I have something in common! Autograph, please...

Fame!

 

Now, I'm beginning to fully understand what talk show hosts mean, when they probe their celebrity guests as to whether they can still go "out".

Of course, heartthrobs like Justin Bieber get mobbed on sight, heightening the possibility that the pint-sized performer might get crushed in a madcap rush.

Even famous people - of a lesser degree of visability - encounter awkward or unsettling moments when they stray alone into the real world.

Frankly, it wasn't until I roared into Vegas a few days ago, that it dawned on me that the curse of fame had descended upon me, too.

For some inexplicable reason, as quick as a wink, my mug has become instantly recognizable among the masses which startles and amazes me.

I'm not starring in my own night-time drama, after all.

Not yet, at least!

Say, what about a reality show featuring my blog?

Wonders never cease!

But, back to my tale of debauchery and fame.

When I am sitting in traffic these days - a thousand eyes from all vantage points turn in my direction - and I am forced to twiddle my thumbs and act nonchalantly for sanity's sake until the frigging light changes!

In fast-food take-out joints, a sort-of sleeping paralysis takes hold, when  the patrons learn of my identity one by one.

After a man and his wife spied me on the street yesterday, the lady looked back and hesitated.

"Should  I say something," she wondered aloud in a slight whisper.

Needless to say, I moved on.

I wasn't up to a close encounter of the third kind.

One of the funniest incidents occurred at McDonalds over the weekend.

As I noted in a previous post, the Wi-Fi was down at my Hotel, so I dashed out with computer in hand to avail myself of the free access at an outlet just across from the Sahara Hotel.

As this locaton, however, there was only one plug available for patrons.

So, I plunked down - plugged in - and tuned out.

As I was in the midst of polishing a paragraph, I had a burning sensation that someone's eyes were fixed tightly on me.

When I looked up, I was startled to find myself eyeball-to-eyeball with a motorist.

Uh-huh.

Turns out the drive-thru order station was just a few inches beyond my comfy perch on the other side of the picture window.

Without fail, every few minutes or so - when a hungry driver pulled up to order fries and a burger  - the scenario would start up all over again ad nauseam.

On each occasion, I slumped lower and lower in my chair, in a clandestine effort to hide my identity.

Later, I kicked myself.

I suppose I should have crafted a sign in an elegant script and offered up my autograph at $5.00 a pop.

Kidding!

One morning a twenty-something male actually followed me for about three blocks.

But, if he thought he was "tailing" me without my knowledge, he was dead-wrong.

I took a course in private investigations and was taught quite a few cool skills that come in handy to this day.

It is particularly disconcerting when I am lost in thought (reflecting on the right turn of a phrase for a post perhaps ) and it suddenly becomes painfully obvious - that I am being scrutinized from all-manner of folks from myriad walks of life within a twenty-or-thirty-foot perimeter (and then some).

OMG!

Did I appear to be talking to myself?

I have noticed these days that a few Latinos stare at me, probably because I gave the nod to the Nevada Governor, to sign into law the controversial Immigration Reform Bill.

You betcha.

Sarah Palin and I finally have one thing in common.

We're both on the Latino "hit" list.

Sometimes the behavior of some folks astounds me.

For example, I was on a shuttle bus provided by a Hotel one fine day, when I stood up and started to exit the bus.

I suddenly noticed  a woman - in a seat just forward - waiting for me to pass by first.

"Go ahead, Miss," I instructed politely.

A curious scenario also unfolds when I approach an open door around the same time others are about to enter it, too.

The strangers suddenly acquiesce (slow down) to allow me to go first.

I scoff at the notion that I deserve preferential treatment for some inexplicable reason.

I'll let you in on a secret, though.

The whole experience is quite exhausting.


Because I am constantly in the public eye, I am forced to maintain an energy level on par with my image, which can be a pretty draining charade to keep up in spite of the fact I am a robust man physically, mentally, and spiritually.


At times, I feel like I am walking in a dream world, when the madding crowd gazes on.

There is a thin line between reality and illusion, after all.


I try to stay grounded and down-to-earth for survival's sake.


With the knowledge that God appears in the humblest of places, of course!

Bellweather trends!

http://www.thetattler.biz/

Fame...my 19th nervous breakdown! Dark glasses won't do...

Jaded Beverly Hills elite phased by celebrity!

Oh, it is getting a little intense being so recognizable.

On Saturday, I was on my way up Canon Drive to try out a gym, when the oddest thing happened.

It was like a scene out of a movie, actually.

As I approached a handful of outdoor cafes I felt like I was walking a gauntlet.

All eyes of the guests supping at a smattering of outdoor cafes on the tony strip appeared to be on me - and if they weren't - a companion or two would change all that in about two-seconds flat when they whispered under their breath:

"Do you know WHO that is?"

One well-coiffed socialite's jawed dropped just as a fork flew out of her bejewelled hand and clattered onto her lunch plate with such ear-piercing intensity that it silenced everyone within the perimeter for a second or two.

It was kind of like a domino effect!

As I passed a table - a multitude of prying eyes followed me on as I strolled by -  then  the whole phenomenon would start up again at the next table (then the next).

Frankly, in jaded Beverly Hills, I barely expected a glance!

Later, driving down Sunset, I happened to turn and look out the window and ended up eyeball-to-eyeball with a gaggle of tourists in an open tour bus in the next lane half-turned in their seats trying to get a gander up-close and personal.

But, I really felt like a soap star when I was on vacation in San Francisco recently.

Just as I stepped out of Walgreen's, I heard a little to yelp to my left and turned to check out the commotion.

At this juncture - a lady standing on the street with two friends - suddenly threw their hands to her face and gushed in a high-pitched voice.

"Oh my God, it IS him!"

Should I run?

 Were they going to tear my humble threads off of my trim bod?

Unfortunately, some encounters are not so light-hearted or zaney.

The folks who just freeze on the spot when they catch sight of me - and stare - frighten me a little
.
The fellow who stood about twenty feet away - and jotted down  information on my license plate as I was filling my gas tank up at Arco - was a little disconcerting to encounter, for instance.

A stalker - out to locate my address - perhaps?

Some people give me a sly smile as they walk by on the street.

Maybe, they're recalling a funny post that made them laugh?

Speaking of posts, as I sit here at Whole Foods on lunch break -  putting finishing touches on this one - a petite young blond in the next chair keeps get closer and closer.

When I turned the laptop a little to the right to prevent her snooping, she chirped:

"Don't worry. I can't read your screen."

If she gets any closer, she'll be perched in my lap!

Right about now, as my privacy shrinks, I am inclined to offer up some advice.

Take a picture, ask for an autograph, whatever.

Then, move on, please!

Don't stand there in the street looking like you've got a piece of poop in your pants.
 
Or, go slightly off-kilter, as your eyes suddenly glaze over.
 
At that point, I imagine you're just about ready to pull out an axe  and hack me to death.

On a talk show once, Paul Newman laughed about an bizarre encounter with a man in the men's room at a Hotel.

Apparently, Mr. Newman was standing at the urinal taking a whiz, when a fan next to him  asked for his autograph out-of-the-blue.

The charismatic star with the remarkable blue eyes joked that he toyed with the idea of half-turning and peeing on the guy's leg!
 
Clerks in grocery stores and at cafes are the worst!
 
Pretty soon, I am going to have to order online, or starve to death.
 
Too intense!
 
Who was it who once said:
 
"Actors (and public figures) spend a lifetime trying to become famous. When they've acommplished that remarkable feat, they toss on dark sunglasses so people won't know who they are."
 
The nature of the beast, I guess.

http://www.julianayrs.com

San Francisco...Neil Patrick Harris & Conan O'Brien slated for Sketchfest!

Doogie Howser comes of age!

The 9th annual SF Sketchfest Celebration of Comedy touts guest appearances this year by talented Neil Patrick Harris, Conan O'Brien (licking his wounds?) and famed talk-show King Dick Cavett (to name a few).

For die-hard fans of comedy, the fest - whick revs up this Friday (January 15th) and jolts funny bones until February 2nd - is a must attend.

One of the highlight events is "Celebrity Autobiography" (Jan.30th & 31st) which headlines former Dougie Howser star Harris.

At press time, the award-winning actor was still mulling over bios to offer up in his much-anticipated appearance at the rollicking fest.

Tomes by Sarah Palin and David Hasselhoff kicking around inside his head are major contenders for the wicked jab he is allegedly comtemplating.

"The less you try to make it a comedy hit, the funnier it is," he joked to one reporter in recent days.

Because the charismatic star  is slated to mug for the cameras this week-end @ the Golden Globe Awards (he's been nominated for the coveted award this year) the out actor was forced to bow out of  "Match Game" (a popular sketchfest program) which gets underway the same night in Frisco.

Other much-talked about events include Weird Al Yankovich in conversation with Chris Hardwick (web soup), a Fred Willard chat at the screening of "Waiting for Guffman", and Moon Zappa's stab at improvising stories penned by good old dad (legendary Frank Zappa).

See 'ya there!

Info: http://www.sfsketchfest.com/
 
 

 

Neil Patrick Harris may go rogue!

 

 

http://www.julianayrs.com

AFI Dallas...Britney Spears electrifies nightlife; celebrity brings out ugly side; Father of year is...

Britney breezes into dust bowl!

 

As the AFI shuttle bus turned the corner, we were suddenly swept up into a thong of trussed up teens heading off to the American Airlines Stadium to catch the Britney Spears concert.

In fact, Dallas fans felt so privileged to have the charismatic star in their midst, that all stops were pulled out in a bold-faced effort to sidle up and bask a little in the glow of her celebrated light.

A ticket - whether it be for a whopping $2000 in the front-row-seat - or tagged at a paltry $150 up in the boondocks - was definitely an entree into an exclusive social set many were pining for if only for one night.

Unfortunately, a few ugly personality traits reared their head, as the scenario unfolded before me.

Ah, fame and celebrity bring out the worst in people.

For example, one AFI photographer, had been quite congenial and buddy-buddy with his fellow paparazzi (even inclined to glad-hand all the AFI staff and guests when he made his round through the Festival lounges and red carpet events each day) up 'til last evening.

When he caught wind of a chi-chi party Ms. Spears may be attending, he surreptitiously slipped out a back door so he could crash it on the sly with the specific intention of getting a jump on exclusive publicity stills.

Tsk! Tsk!

In contrast, one local sportscaster landed the glorious honor of "Father of the year in" in my eyes, when he generously gave up his ticket to ensure his 14 year-old-daughter could party it up in the Fox Network suite (center row at the high-energy concert) with her best friend as when Britney strutted her stuff on the welcoming Dallas stage.

Moi?

Well, there wasn't any intense desire to follow the madding crowd.

After all, at a party hosted by CineVegas last year, I was able to mix-and-mingle with Ms. Spears when she quietly slipped in unnoticed by fans and the paparazzi.

The classy sophisticated party-goers in attendance barely batted-an-eye and left the - at times, harried pop chanteuse - alone.

Some people have impeccable manners, you know!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Blogging...fame! Oddballs come out of woodwork...

A few months ago, I noted that blogging foisted me reluctantly into the spotlight.

I never expected the phenomenon; after all, my profile shot is quite miniscule compared to the rest of the content on my blog site.

Unlike many post-it folks - my blog is not a vanity site - where I am inclined to splash a rash of publicity stills of moi across poorly-designed pages screaming out the obvious.

Me! Me! Me!

In view of the fact quite a few bloggers use monikers on the Internet, and cruise anonymously about the World-Wide-Web, maybe my modus operandi jars web surfer sensibilities a tad.

Golly, it's him in the flesh. He's a real person!

Of course, from the offset, I was keen to the fact that there were thousands of blogs out there vying for public consumption.


For this reason, I always endeavoured to offer up informative posts on topical subjects, a bit of social commentary, political news, and - oh my God - a dollop of celebrity dirt!!!

On occasion I walk the line - get a little outrageous - and the sh** hits the fan.

Maybe that's why people stare.

Dude, he said what?

Uh-huh.

A psychic foretold I'd be famous one day for "telling it like it is".

Well, maybe, that prediction has come to pass.

Yeah, the truth is hard to swallow, for some.

Maybe that's why all the eyes are focused on me now.

The other night, for instance, I waltzed into a movie theatre to catch a flick.

When I strode into the lobby - all the theatre-goers went silent - and acted like there was an elephant in the room.

On occasion when I stroll through The Abbey, too, jaws drop.

One night, I overheard a woman with her back to me, wonder aloud:

"What is everyone staring - "

At that moment, she half-turned and spied me over her shoulder strolling by.


Her voice trailed off - at which point - a dazed expression swept across her face.

At CVS when I stop in for a pomegranate Tea late at night - it's the only really good thirst quencher I know of in a pinch - the staff fumble around and make fools of themselves.

When I stroll up to the counter to pay, they totally lose it!

I want to utter up a tired old expression.

"Take a picture. It lasts longer."

The paparazzi wised up to that scenario a long time ago.

If I pop into the Internet Cafe to check e-mail, curious onlookers glance at my screen, ad nauseam.

Are they seeking lay-out tips or trying to get a scoop on my next sizzling post?

Meanwhile, I pretend not to notice the bizarre behaviour.

Now, it makes sense to me why celebrities react so negatively to fans and strangers when they're are out on-the-town for a respite from it all.

If a handful become recluses, it's easy to fathom why.

At times, the way people act, 'ya feel like you're from another planet.

Britney Spears must go through he** when she ventures out.

The creepy part has started, too.

Gawkers - with stalker tendencies - tend to lurk around when I am quietly having a light snack out-of-doors.

And, a strange character with an eerie light in his eye, pays too much attention when I occasionally dash down to the library for a book or two.

I hate to be rude, but judging from his odd-ball demeanor, it appears to be a better bet to take a wide berth.

On occasion, pedestrians and shoppers stop dead in their tracks, when I alight from my car.

There he is, they seem to be saying to themselves.

How can I capitalize on this chance encounter?

Lately, I've entered a new phase of my fame, too.

I used to hear people whisper behind my back:

"Do you know who that is?"

Then, there was a new line of query after that, for about a month or two.

"Do you know how old he is?"

At that juncture, curious spectators tended to surreptitiously inch forward a bit, to scrutinize for tell-tale signs of a nip 'n tuck here and there.

Nope, I haven't had any work done.

Not yet!

I expect that phrase three of my ten minutes of fame is on the rocky horizon.

When I'm in line at Starbucks, or Gelson's, I expect I'll hear astonished musings in an entirely different vein.

"Is he still alive?"

Yup, over my dead body!!!

Lindsay Lohan...lesbo? Chief Bratton sullies color of authority by alleging so!

Rainbow colors hint at sexual persuasion...


Lesbians around the country were obviously titillated this morning when they opened their morning daily to read Lindsay Lohan allegedly turned gay!

The revelation popped out of the mouth of Chief William Bratton at an inaugural meeting for a task force of elected officials, law enforcement leaders, and others seeking to regulate what they perceive as frenzied irresponsible conduct by the local paparazzi whenever they are in search of their celebrity targets.

Yes, the heated debate is revving up once again.

Although singer John Mayer and actor Eric Roberts turned up ready to toss their two cents worth in, Chief Bratton was ready to call it a day.

In fact, he declared the ballsy effort a farce!

"If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes, Paris is out of town and not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue."

In sum - he argued that existing laws were sufficient to curb the lens hounds - but not before accusing "misbehaving stars" of being the cause of ninety-percent of the problem.

And, he pointed an accusing finger at City Councilman Dennis P. Zine, for needlessly fanning the flames.

Zine was quick to a throw a deft one-two punch back!

"They (paparazzi) act like a pack of wolves stalking their prey. What we're trying to do is prevent a tragedy from happening."

Then, he zeroed in on Bratton for acting inappropriately under the color of authority.

In fact, the irate politician has asked the Police Commission to investigate Bratton's comments about Lohan's alleged sexual orientation. In support of his complaint, he noted for the record that any regular police officer on the force would be investigated and possibly disciplined for making such an outlandish remark while on the City payroll.

Bratton countered by lamenting that controlling the paparazzi was like trying to "herd cats".

Maybe that's why the focus on Lohan's pu**y came to the fore.

Still waiting to hear from Lindsay's camp!


Pack of Wolves howl at celebrity's door...