Sometimes being famous has its perks.
Like today, for instance.
I was standing in line at McDonalds in downtown Las Vegas when a young woman spied me in the crowd and proceeded to point me out to the other customers.
"He writes lovely poems," she beamed.
Unfortunately - when I normally saunter into a fast-food joint, pharmacy, or retail outlet - the cashier's jaw usually drops as he (or she) proceeds to stutter and stammer and stare (and ultimately act like they have a piece of poop stuck between their fleshy butt-cheeks).
And - even total strangers attempt to glom onto 'ya - when least-expected.
For instance, yesterday I was walking along the Fremont Street experience when a young woman sidled up to me and tried to strike up a conversation.
At that juncture, I sped up my walk and attempted to glide off as politely as possible.
"Where are you going," she demanded after me.
Excuse me?
I, for one, am not in the habit of reporting my travel plans for the day to a total stranger on the street!
How 'bout you?
Today, I sat down next to a fellow at a quick take-out (after neglecting to listen to my "inner voice" which advised me to sit elsewhere across the packed eatery) who promptly began to intrude on my personal space.
Within minutes, he was quizzing me about this 'n that - 'til finally - I was forced to inform the gent that I was quite pressed for time (and thus) unable to hold court (thank you very much!).
Obviously, this was an issue for Mr. Manners to deal with post-haste!
Folks, it's all in the approach.
Celebrities don't mind posing for a photo or signing an autograph provided they are approached in the appropriate manner and at an opportune time.
For instance, famous people - like any regular "Joe"- would prefer to eat their meal in peace when out-on-the-town for dinner.
Wait until the last crumb of dessert has been wolfed down before making a fly-by attempt at a signature for heaven's sake!
And, when privacy is an issue, stand clear - eh?
For example, years ago Paul Newman recalled that he was standing at a urinal in a mens room one day, when a fan strode up and asked him for his autograph.
"I wanted to half-turn and pee on his leg," he laughed to the talk-show host.
Imagine that!
Proper etiquette dictated that a fan should have waited until Newman had sufficient time to at least "shake off" the last dew drops of piss from his penis (don't 'ya think?).
It's a guy thing.
And, don't just rush up and snap away in a celeb's face, eh?
They hate that as much as they hate being caught with a bit of spinach caught between their teeth!
If they are in a lively conversation with someone else when you catch them in your net?
Please wait until their gab fest with the other fan ends before barging in.
And, if possible, avoid questions pertaining to their pending divorce, a sex scandal, or how much money they make.
Uh-huh.
These lines of questioning are sure "turn-offs" which may land you a punch in the face.
But, may rustle up a lot of moolah, once the lawsuit is settled out-of-court.
Happy Hunting, eh?
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