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Showing posts with label Cocaine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cocaine. Show all posts

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Lindsay Lohan..."Reform School Girls" next? B Movie limbo...

 


 

Lately, Lindsay Lohan's life has started to emulate a bad B Movie script, don't 'ya think?

One minute, the sexy starlett is struggling with her sanity (some would prefer she be trussed up in a straight jacket pronto), the next - she's giving a Judge the finger (well - ten - actually).

Now, it appears that Ms. Lohan is either in rehearsal for a flick about "Reform School Girls" - or just maybe - she's auditioning for the juicy role of "Frances Farmer" in an upcoming film bio.

Who knows?

According to insiders, Ms. Lohan assaulted a staff member at the Betty Ford Clinic, during her (um) respite from the after-hours night-club scene - at a resort for the humbled elite - who tend to be drug-adled or prone to gulp down a drinkie-pooh (or two) a tad too ambitiously!

Say it ain't so, Lindsay!

At a Press Conference yesterday, authorities confirmed that they responded to a 911 call - at which time - an employee of the infamous Betty Ford Drug Rehab Center accused the troubled show-biz personality of physical battery.

On the heels of the scandalous outburst - behave now, bitches! - the worker was terminated apparently.

But, the unexpected turn-of-events, only added grease to the fire!

"Wrongfully terminated," a lawyer has lamented to all within earshot.

The legal eagle has argued that the filing of a police report does not rise to the level of a breach of confidentiality, after all.

Picky! Picky! Picky!

His client only seeks compensation for her injuries (and the insult), after all!

What position does management at the reputable Betty Ford Clinic take?

"The worker violated patient confidentiality by speaking with the media," a spokesperson asserted for the record, without batting a sober eye.

A little bird tells me Ms. Lohan may be trotting back to Court in the event the incident is construed as a breach of her probation.

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz/








Saturday, September 25, 2010

Lindsay Lohan..."Get out of Jail" card costly! Judge Fox eats crow!







Lindsay Lohan snagged another "Get out of Jail" card last night just before the witching hour.

But, the price tag was a pretty hefty one.

Earlier in the day, when Ms. Lohan appeared in court to answer to charges that she failed a drug test last week, Judge Elden Fox pulled the rug out from under the starlet when he denied bail and ordered a Sheriff to hand-cuff  the startled defendant and haul her back to the slammer until a probation Violation hearing on October 22nd..

But, the ruling was struck down later in the afternoon just shy of 6  p.m , when Lohan's lawyer filed a "motion" with the court, lamenting that denial of "bail" was illegal in the instant scenario since Lindsay had committed a couple of misdemeanors (not felonies).

An assistant supervising Judge found there was merit to lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley's argument, and subsequently, overturned the stiff penalty imposed earlier by Judge Fox.

However, the stakes got higher for Ms. Lohan.

The court granted her release with the provision that her legal team post $300,000.00 bail.

In addition, the strong-willed actress was placed on a tighter leash.

Until the hearing in late October rolls around, Lohan is required to sport an ankle bracelet once again, to monitor her every move.

The trendy watering holes the par-ta girl frequents - that primarily flog alcohol - are off-limits, too.

Individuals in rehab treatment programs often refer to social setting such as these as "triggers" because of temptations that lurk everywhere in those sleazy environs.

On October 22nd, the disgruntled Jurist will render a finding as to whether or not Lindsay violated her probation last week when she failed a mandatory court-ordered drug test.

Lindsay herself has admitted that shaking her drug habit has been a daily challenge.

"Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn't go away over night," Lohan fessed up a few days ago on Twitter, on the heels of admitting she relapsed and that her test came back dirty.

When Judge Fox initially granted Lohan's release, he mapped out a 67-day course of action for the pretty starlet to follow which included drug testing, counseling, and substance abuse meetings.

At Friday's court proceeding, probation officers were asked to report back on the extent of Lindsay's compliance, how faithful she's been to the court's directive, and so-forth and-so-on.

With reliable facts in hand, it is anticipated the Judge will be capable of rendering a decision that is equitable under the circumstances, with the specific aim of settling a case that has gotten old and grey and (yawn!) begging for closure.

I echo Mr. Lohan's sentiments.

The talented thespian is in dire need of therapy.

Stints behind bars just frustrate and hinder the healing process on all levels.




 
Dueling Lohans!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Lindsay Lohan...motion granted for release! Starlet must rustle up $300,000.00 bail...




 




A few minutes ago, there was good news - bad news, too - for Lindsay Lohan.

This afternoon - when Judge Elden Fox ordered Lindsay Lohan back to the slammer for failing a drug test (and sent her reeling in shock) - the disgruntled Jurist also denied her legal eagle's  request for bail.

Consequently, the Sheriff was instructed to hand-cuff Ms. Lohan - at which point - she was hauled off to a secure facility for female prisoners in Lynwood, California.

End of story?

Not.

At the hearing this afternoon, the lawyer representing the "Mean Girls" star, vowed to file a motion with the court, replete with arguments outlining the merits of re-instating bail and a quick release for Lindsay.

True to form, the aggressive attorney quickly drafted the requirement paperwork, and the brief was summarily submitted to the court's clerk for a proper legal review.

OMG!

Ms. Lohan's highly-paid arm-twister must be a legal whiz because the "motion" was granted by Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg.



Who's out-foxing who?


Unfortunately for the actress, her release hinges on her legal team's ability to rustle up a startling $300,000.00 in bail - in what amounts to fool's gold at this point - backed by appropriate security (such as bonds, stocks, and/or property).


In addition, Lohan must get fitted for a trendy ankle bracelet once again, so that her activities may be monitored up-close-and-personal each waking-and-sleeping moment until a hearing on the issues (slated for October 22nd) determines Lohan's fate.


I expect the paparazzi will not only be camped out-front of the big house, but may be inclined to position a scout out-back, in the event the sly par-tay girl attempts to slip out the backdoor once again.


I'm pulling for 'ya, girl!



No-nonesense Judy Judy may be good medicine for starlet!

Lindsay Lohan...hand-cuffed & jailed! No bail for screw-up!






Lindsay Lohan was in for a rude awakening when she sashayed into court today to answer to charges that she was  in Violation of probation for failing a mandatory drug test last week.

The Judge's reaction was swift and severe.

Throw her in the slammer!

A few minutes earlier, Lindsay roared up to the courthouse - stylisly outfitted in a dark blazer and peering out from behind dark shades with her mother in tow - half-expecting the proceeding was just a formality.

But, the troubled addict was in for a jolt when the disgruntled Jurist - Eden Fox - instructed the Sheriff to hand-cuff the pretty starlet and take her into custody.

After denying bail, a hearing was set for October 22nd, at which point the "Mean Girls" star was whisked way to the country jail where she is expected to don an orange jumpsuit and suffer a loss of privileges once again.

Ouch!

Those weren't crocodile tears Ms. Lohan shed when she was placed inside an unmarked police car and hauled away to women's facility in Lynwood, California, to be incarcerated once again.

On the sideliness, gossip-mongers tittered.

To paraphrase a quote from the musical "Chicago":

"She had it coming!"

In spite of the fact the high-profile celeb  was released early from Jail last month - and give leniency - Ms. Lohan neglected to count her blessings.

A mandatory drug test which came back "dirty" signaled to the court that the social gadfly was defiantly thumbing her nose at the justicial system.

According to one Sheriff, Lohan is being kept away from the general population at the slammer "for the safety and security of the entire jail system."

Lohan, 24, is to be held in an 8-by-12 foot cell on lone stints that may stretch out twenty-three hours or so without contact with other inmates.

Not a charmed existence, by any stretch of the imagination.

Meditation may be a usetool right now for Lindsay to facilitate self-reflection.

Good luck, Ms. Lohan!





Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Cocaine...the lure of the potent snuff! Paris Hilton's monkey on-the-back!









In the wake of Paris Hilton’s cocaine bust - and the 29-year-old’s subsequent conviction for possession of the party favor - I have been inclined to reflect on the insidious drug and its potent ability to seduce - and ultimately - addict.

Why insidious?

Unlike a fistful of other designer drugs that splash onto the nightclub scene to enhance the senses for a few short hours on a frenzied dance floor behind heavily-guarded doors - cocaine (a pricey white powder that is usually snorted up the nose) - is in for the long haul.

Having grown up in the sixties - in an era of peace, love, and Jimmy Hendrix - it was a given that the temptation of mood or mind-altering substances (organic or whipped up in a lab by an inventive chemical genius) would rear its ugly head.

In my instant case, friends at a Christmas party in Kitsilano (Vancouver, B.C.), coaxed me into taking a toke on a big fat joint, and I ended up flat on my ass lost in the intricate pattern of an exquisite Persian rug.

At 15, I was pretty impressionable with defenses down, for sure.

But, obviously it was the DMT-cured marijuana that left me “stoned” (an expression of the day) for three days straight.

I was clueless and a tad naïve when I was a teen because I was raised in sheltered environs in the burbs.

In fact, I recall one incident that unfolded in the locker room at Humberside High (!) that makes me shake my head in disbelief when I look back.

On that specific occasion, a fellow student dashed up out-of-the-blue with, and blurted out a puzzling message.

“The gym teacher is a narc,” she hissed at me.

Understandably, I sheepishly froze on the spot; after all, I didn’t know what a “narc” was.

A year or so later - I’d come of age in that regard - shortly after I joined the exodus to the West Coast (Canada) and dropped out to become a hippie.

Although my lifestyle changed - to one that was more condusive to the creative spirit - my lack of interest in the drug culture intensified.

In contrast - my bohemian pals - not only continued to puff away - but moved on to experiment with an exotic array of mind-blowing illegal substances such as window-pane LSD, MDA, and Mescaline.

And, on one desperate occasion, downed some elephant tranquilizer, with staggering results.

No kidding.

The release of the film - “Performance“ (starring Mick Jagger in the role of a reclusive rock star) - prompted adventurous merry pranksters to also gobble down magic mushrooms (which they stumbled on by accident on vacant land overgrown with foliage alongside an airstrip at the Vancouver airport).
In those heady carefree days, critics of the burgeoning Mary-Jane culture, warned that smoking marijuana (or hashish) would open the door to harder drugs such as cocaine and heroin.

Hippies, fans of rock ‘n roll, exalted figureheads of the underground head culture - and a host of other liberated spirits - scoffed at the notion.

Even still - the hilarious lop-sided attitudes expressed in classic flicks like “Reefer Madness” a decade earlier - persisted in perpetuating wild myths about the alleged “killer weed”.

Unfortunately, one prediction appeared to ring true, after I took off the “rose-colored” glasses and faced the truth cold turkey.

It didn’t escape my attention that a number of friends and acquaintances ended up addicted to cocaine - in spite of the fact they swore up-and-down in their innocent teens - that smoking marijuana would never take them down that treacherous path.

In fact, when I trekked up to Vancouver last vacation, I was taken aback at what I encountered, when I dropped by a long-time pal’s digs near Kitsilano Beach.

It was like stepping into a time warp!

The walls were splattered with a smattering of psychedelic posters graced with images of legendary bands such as Led Zeppelin and the awesome rock Diva Janis Joplin & the Holding Company), curtains crafted in sprightly-colored beads (purchased at one of the head shops on 4th Avenue no doubt) were strung up in doorway frames where they doubled as eye-catching crash-pad dividers, a lava lamp continued to transform its contents at a snail’s pace, and drug paraphernalia - a small mirror with traces of white power skimming the surface, razor blades, and a straw (crudely-fashioned out of paper money) - signaled the tell-tale signs of cocaine use.

One of the prime reasons cocaine is such a difficult “monkey” to shake off the back - is in large part due to the fact - “blow” tends to be mind-addicting.

Once the seductive drug has washed over the senses and elevated the user to a high on the edge of Nirvana, the addict is inclined to wallow in the sheer ecstasy of the fleeting moment.

Some kinkier users allege that rubbing cocaine on their sexual organs actually heightens sexual pleasure during love-making.

But, too much of the potent white powder may cause a posse of dudes to suffer from soft-dick syndrome until they “come down” a notch or two.

Unfortunately, when the drug wears off, many users are plunged into depression that is sobering, too.
What cures that ill?

A line of coke, you betcha!

Uh-huh.

Coupled with that downer, the cocaine-addicted are faced with another never-ending dilemma.

A stronger dose of the trendy “snuff” must be ingested to attain the previous level of drug-induced euphoria once tapped at lower dosages.

At this juncture, the addict becomes ensnared, caught in the drug’s stranglehold.

The cost of sustaining the habit may sky-rocket as the hunger for coke increases.

In addition, habitual drug use may negatively impact other areas of the addict’s life.

For starters, the user may start to suffer from nose bleeds,

A handful of sensitive individuals may develop nervous ticks and sensitivity to bright lights.

Hence, the dark shades many addicts wear, even in-doors.

Long-term use may cause mental and emotional problems to surface, too.

In that event, addicts are rarely capable of escaping cocaine’s far-reaching clutches.

In a twisted sort-of-way, Paris was lucky to be “busted”.

Now, under the glare of the spotlight, the pretty heiress will be forced to take appropriate steps (12?) to lick her craving for killer drugs like cocaine.

Is there another reality show on the horizon?



Lindsay's Euphoric moments!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Paris Hilton...cops a plea! Gets probation, community service, & fine!






Social butterfly - recreational drug-user Paris Hilton - fessed up in court today about the origins of a stash of cocaine (ferreted out of her pretty designer purse a scant few weeks ago ) which landed her in the slammer facing felony drug charges.

Although the court reduced the sentence to a misdemeanour, pursuant to a plea bargain, the strong-willed heiress did not get off lightly with a slap on the wrist.

Under the terms agreed to, the reality-show hostess with-the-mostest, will serve a year on probation (without supervision) and complete a court-ordered drug abuse program.

In addition, Ms. Hilton was fined $2,000, and sentenced to complete 200 hours of community service.

Hilton was arrested on the sumptuous grounds of the Wynn resort after a slip of the hand caused 0.8 grams of the addictive illegal snuff to spill out in plain view - at which point - she  was summarily apprehended, questioned, and booked by the local police in Las Vegas.

Originally, the socialite alleged that the expensive party favor was not hers, but later relented after a full investigation determined otherwise.

Paris made a stylish entrance into the normally-formal environs of the courtroom in a chic ensemble that caused heads to turn.

In Vogue, to the bitter end.

Not your typical drug addict, no Sir!

In spite of that glaring fact, the Judge was inclined to lecture the curvaceous blond about the need to change her conduct.

"The Clark County Detention Center is not the Waldorf-Astoria," he quipped at one point, taking an obvious dig at her privileged background.

"Our main concern is that Ms. Hilton stay out of trouble over the next year," added a prosecutor, from his perch in the wings at the Clark County facility.

David Chesnoff - Hilton's legal pit-bull - assured press hounds that his client would avail herself of an outpatient substance abuse treatment program.

To satisfy the other conditions, Ms. Hilton take on a role as a volunteer with animal rights groups, and lend a generous hand at a couple of children's charities.

So, you won't catch sight of Paris in an orange jumper on the side of the highway, collecting trash.

That's for sure!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Lindsay Lohan...fesses up to failing drug test! New maturity signals hope!








On the heels of news reports that she failed a recent drug test, Linday Lohan displayed remarkable maturity yesterday, when she fessed up to the allegations.

In fact, at her twitter site - the pretty starlet with the monkey on-her-back - posted a tweet in which she acknowledged that she screwed-up.

Ms. Lohan noted that she is ready to appear before the judge in her case and face the consequences for her actions.

The slip-up may be construed as a probation violation resulting in additional jail time.

In contrast, just a scant few weeks ago - during court proceedings - the troubled addict was in a constant state of denial.

On more than one occasion - Lohan either engaged in deceitful conduct to hide the extent of her addiction - or blatantly tried to toss the blame entirely on others to avoid penalty from the judge presiding over her case.

For example, on one occasion the style maven swore up-and-down that a pair of pants with traces of cocaine in the fabric, were not hers.

Witnesses later testified that the slacks were not only owned by Lohan, but were a favorite pair of casual wear she often wore on a night out on-the-town partying.

Ms. Lohan  also claimed that she was not driving a vehicle during the course of a DUI shake-down - and, in fact - accused two other individuals of being at the wheel until the truth was finally squeezed out of witnesses.

In a series of messages posted late Friday, the actress was forthcoming, however.

"Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test," she admitted in no uncertain terms.

"Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn't go away over night. I am working hard to overcome it," she added solemnly.

According to inside sources, Lindsay intends to continue with the recovery updates on her twitter site.

In my estimation, the fact that Lindsay has acknowledged her problem, signals to me that she has turned the corner on her addiction.

For this reason, she deserves a break!

We're all human, after all, and inclined to stumble now and then.

Personally, I'll be following the posts wholeheartedly, and pulling for her.

If anything, she needs a boost in her morale just now.

Hopefully, fans can step in and fill that void, in the interim.





Poor fashion choice rankled court officials!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Paris Hilton...Vegas Police admit special treatment! Logistics, folks!







When Lindsay Lohan bailed out of jail early, critics cried foul.

"Celebrity justice," they wailed!

Usually, the officials are red-faced when that little inevitability rears its ugly head.

But, the Police Chief at the Vegas slammer had no qualms in admitting up-front that Paris Hilton was handled with kid gloves when she was recently busted for cocaine in the desert oasis.

It was all about logistics and practicality, they swore up-and-down to the howling media.

"Yeah, she was treated differently," a deputy Police Chief reported non-plussed.

"So, I don't have have a disruption of my process here at the County Jail," he sniffed in the aftermath of the broohaha.

Okie-doke. 

"She was moved along out of the general area and put in isolation where nobody could get to her.'

Everyone would be trying to get a piece of the "Paris" action, he slyly confided.

And - we all know - the cops have dibs on that cash cow!

The hookers would be trying to rub corsetts with her, I expect.

And, a few might try for a stab at an autograph.

"Just sign it with that ruby-red lipstick 'ya found in the purse right on my tat, hon!"

Isolation was the best bet, alright.

"To put her in the open dorm with male inmates and female inmates would shut down the process."

But, what folks really want to know, is how Hilton ended up with such a pretty mug shot.

Was she given a second or third take?

Maybe, she just primped a smidgen before she trotted up to the house shutterbug!

Or, is the kid from tony Beverly Hills,  just photogenic?

News & baby pictures at 11!




 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Paris Hilton...Cocaine possession shocker! Limo driver a handy-man?



C'est la Vie!




One of my golden girls has fallen!

Just the other day, on the heels of reporting that Paris Hilton was victimized by an intruder who waved knives at her in a menacing way during a failed burglarly attempt, I was inclined to take the opportunity to rave about the classy way she's handled herself in recent days.

But, that image was short-lived!

Last night - the bar-hopping socialite - was arrested and booked for the big "C" (cocaine) in "Sin" city. (Las Vegas/NV).

When an alert cop caught a whiff of pugnent marijuana allegedly wafting from the open windows of a luxury vehicle chauffering Ms. Hilton around town, he flipped the siren on pronto and instructed the driver to pull over.

In contrast to the Lindsay Lohan flap which went down a few weeks ago, the Paris drama unfolded with little fanfare.

The pretty little rich girl was booked into the slammer, then quickly released..

Sources tittered that the chauffeur was cuffed and taken into custody - too - so I expect that tongues will be wagging all over the Internet at breakneck speeed this weekend.

Is the driver a supplier (drug dealer) or just a main squeeze who doubles as a chauffeur-cum-bodyguard (general all-round cook and bottle-washer)?

Will a trumped-up charge be forthcoming?

Or, can the spoiled heiress expect to be showered with celebrity justice?

News at 11!



She loves the night life!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Lindsay Lohan...enters rehab! Toxic friends shunned! Shapiro to head up defense!




Lindsay's once-healthy glow!



Amid a swirl of speculation, Lindsay Lohan "checked into" a respected rehab facility yesterday afternoon with a copy of "Toxic Friends" tightly grasped in hand.

Uh-huh.

In the old days, insider-druggies were referred to as enablers - but, oh! - how the times have changed.

Now that Ms. Lohan has dumped former legal counsel, celebrity lawyer Shapiro (of O.J. Simpson fame) has stepped up to the plate to try to bat a 100 for the troubled starlet desperately seeking a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Rumors abound that the "Mean Girls" star is pinning her hopes on smooth-talking Shaprio to convince the Judge to forego on the slammer so that LL may continue on at rehab a girl uninterrupted.

I expect Lohan anticipates that Her Honor will have a short memory and won't take the part-ay girl to task in respect to disrespectful scribbled texts (Fu** you) subtly etched on her pampered nails last time before the bench warmer which hinted at her contempt for the court.

Does Shapiro have the chutzpah to pull it off?

The clinic - Pickford Lofts - was set up Shapiro, after his son Brent died of a drug overdose in 2005.



Shapiro will spin legal magic!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lindsay Lohan...how much time in slammer? Celebrity Justice outcry...



Last Hurrah before heading off to the slammer





In the wake of the Lindsay Lohan sentencing-shocker, the tabloid talk shows roared into high gear last night, and attacked the issues from all fronts.

Even Danny Bonaduce - recovering alchie - jumped into the fray!

One “self-appointed” Judge on a court reality show, waved her gavel wildly into camera, and cackled that she was thrilled with the stiff penalties levied against the starlet for violating probation.

Another pundit - a bit of a boob - accused the Judge presiding over the case of actual reverse celebrity Justice.

“Because of who she was, the court threw the book at her to set an example,” he cynically quipped from the sidelines.

Panelists on the show scoffed and pooh-poohed the notion.

Generally, the consensus on the broadcast airwaves throughout the frenzied night was pretty uniform.

At this point, it may be appropriate to paraphrase a line from the popular popular Broadway Musical “Chicago“.

“She had it coming!”

“Without intervention, Lindsay may end up dead,” many speculated.

But, when it comes to the nitty-gritty, how much time will the spoiled little “Mean Girl” - with the tendency to spin out little white lies at lightning speed - spend in the slammer?

Because of severe overcrowding in the jails, Lindsay may be tossed out early, especially in view of the fact she was not guilty of any violent crimes (except against herself, perhaps).

A spokesperson for the County Jail hazarded a guess - that being a female inmate with a non-violent history - the once-perky starlet may end up suffering through just about one quarter of her sentence(s).

In addition, Lohan may receive credit for good behavior.

Lindsay, listen up!

If some diesel dyke tries to punch you in the pretty little face in the pokie, back off, pronto.

You don’t want to end up in the hole, do ‘ya?

And, don’t be tempted by in-house drug-pushers, who may try to throw a monkey-wrench into your plans for an early release.

The old axiom rings true here:

Misery loves company!

Nasty bitches!



Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Lindsay Lohan...GUILTY! Star breaks down in Court! 90-days in slammer!





Loss of Innocence Hollywood-style!


A swarm of paparazzi excitedly jockeyed for position in front of a courthouse on a tony Beverly Hills street, a defense attorney committed a boo-boo when she inferred that the Judge may have been responsible for a misunderstanding that may have confused a teary-eyed starlet, and the world held its collective breath as the accused's fate was about to be determined by a no-nonesense Judge.

Uh-huh.

At two in the afternoon, when far-fetched soap operas were spewing  their wild yarns on local and National broadcasts, a real-life drama was unfolding in a court-room packed to the rafters with rapt observers hanging on every word uttered up during the proceedings.

Early on, there was a burp in the legal wranglings, when the court expressed its dismay about the fact one pertinent record - a detailed account of Lindsay Lohan's appearances at mandatory counselling sessions - was not available to peruse under close scrutiny.

For good reason, the Judge moved for a recess to rectify the problem.

I reported on this issue earlier in the day.

Post: 07/06/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/07/lindsay-lohanshuns-process-servers.html

When the proceedings continued a short while later, the court focused on the documents in minute detail.

In fact, an employee of the facility where Lindsay Lohan was enrolled to take the necessary classes to meet the terms of her probation, was called to the witness stand to clarify the issues.

After an exhausting sifting through of records, it was ultimately determined that Ms. Lohan had failed to appear at 7 out of the 27 scheduled classes.

Ms. Lohan's attorney noted that after probation was revoked and a warrant was issued, her client made a good-faith effort thereafter to catch up with her obligations, by attending two or three classes in one week instead of the one stipulated by the court.

At this juncture, Lohan's attorney made a big boo-boo (or under-estimated the Judge's intelligence and insight), when she blatantly inferred that the her Honor may have been responsible for the misunderstanding (if there was one) and the alleged failure to comply.

"In Chambers, I recall you requested one class a week to ensure the obligation was completed by July 15th," the defense lawyer asserted for the record in so many words.

On the contrary!

The Judge proceeded to note for the record that she stipulated once a week because it was her understanding from experts in the field that a subject benefitted best by attending classes regularly once (not two or three times) a week.

Ouch!

Lohan's attorney must have had wax in her ears, or something, because that statement by the Judge failed to register in her little noggin'.

Later, just prior to sentencing, the ditzy attorney reiterated that the Judge imposed the 1 week class schedule to meet a July 15th deadline date set by the court - and that in view of that - her client was not in non-compliance.

Then, the attorney made the wildest comment of all.

"As of this week, Ms. Lohan is in full compliance with her court-ordered obligations.

Not!

At this juncture, just prior to a verdict being read, the court permitted Lindsay Lohan to stand and address the court.

Within minutes after asserting that she thought she was in compliance, and citing  unusual work-schedules to explain away irregularities, the pretty actress's voice filled with uncontrollable emotion - at which point - she broke down and cried.

Personally, I don't think they were crocodile tears.

Unfortantely, for me, the work excuses didn't hold much water.

Daily, defendants lose their apartments and jobs  on the heels of an arrest when they are jailed, put on probation, and so forth or so on.

That comes part 'n parcel with the conviction of a crime.

To expect to "do her time" - and continue normally with her life without interruption  - in view of life's reality regarding the legal system in this country today is a preposterous selfish notion.

At this juncture, the prosecutor launched her closing arguments.

"I appreciate the tears, but the truth is that she has not been in compliance," she started off.

The hefty middle-aged female attorney proceeded to rattle off  the details which didn't leave much doubt that Ms. Lohan was in fact - guilty of the accusations - as alleged.

Things got worse for Lohan when the Judge cited grounds for the ruling to be announced in the next breath or two.

"You lied when questioned about the DUI incident," she began.

For example, you tried to blame two others for the incident, before it was determined that you were actually driver of the vehicle, she added slowly and methodically.

When white powder was spotted on your jeans, you claimed the clothing was  not yours, she continued in earnest.

"However, friends testified that they were your favorite pants."

Liar! Liar! Your pants are on fire!

Gotcha!

Just betcha TMZ has dozens of shots of her in hob-nobbing at society events in those stylish threads, eh?

And, the Judge kept the hits zinging from the bench.

"You said you went to Promises for two weeks and that you were clean and sober. But your urine sample tested positive for cocaine," she noted solemnly for the court record.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

Finally, the sentence came down.

Lindsay was given three 30-day consecutive sentences in jail - in addition to - ninety days in rehab once the stint in the big house has been completed.

The emotionally-distraught starlet was ordered to surrender herself to the court on July 20th.

Just look at it this way, Lindsay, if you ever get called to audition for the part of Francis Farmer - you'll nab the part, no doubt - what with all the extensive experience under your belt 180 days from now.

Good luck, Lindsay.

Will come visit!



Did prior plunging neckline offend the court?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Lady Gaga...cocaine addiction licked! Album due after Christmas...






She once had a monkey on her back, thinks the freaks are the regular Joes in middle America (not artists like her), and tends to talk in such a garbled fashion (marbles in mouth syndrome) that - at times - the Pop Diva is difficult to comprehend.

What did I think was rude?

Lady Gaga appeared on Larry King Live! behind ubiquitous - but “cool”-looking dark shades - which shielded her face for the most part.

Actually, It was a very butch look when teamed with her short-cropped hair, man’s white shirt, and snazzy black suspenders.

When Larry compared Lady Gaga to Madonna, she beamed, and noted that the material girl was a wonderful friend and incredibly supportive.

“There are no bad comparisons to Madonna, because she’s great,” Lady G gushed without holding back.

When the chat turned to religion, the chart-topper noted that she was raised a Catholic.

In spite of a solid religious foundation provided during her youth, Lady Gaga admitted she still struggled with her feelings about the church.

“In terms of religion, I’m very religious, and I believe in God.”

In spite of that, she confided to Larry King that she’s still confused about religion and would like more peace in respect to the issue.

She was quick to add that she didn’t feel any prejudice towards other sects or religious organizations.

The talented musician is also an advocate of gay rights.

Her admiration for the LGBT community arises from what she described as their  “joyful courage” and their ability to be “brave” in the face of adversity.

For the record, Lady Gaga was inclined to note that all her friends tend to be homosexual.

“Gay men never wanted anything from me,” she added almost as an after thought.

Curiously, when Larry probed further about her own sexuality, Lady Gaga became tongue-tied.

Although reluctant to confide in Larry “point-blank” about her sexual persuasion - Lady Gaga confessed that - like so many others - she’s looking for love.

Right now, fans satisfy that need for love.

Children?

In her own inimitable way, she explained:

“My womb is not beckoning for a child right now.”

On the issue of coming clean - getting off cocaine, for instance - she was pretty dismissive.

“It was ruining my life.”

By her account, it was not difficult to get the monkey off-her-back.

Lady Gaga looked embarrassed when King made mention of her generous spirit.

“At a Local pub in Birmingham, you picked up everyone’s tab. True?”

Awkwardly, the - at times shy-and-retiring Pop Diva - admitted it was.

“I am blessed,” she asserted.

Entertaining 17, 000 fans at a concert is a thrilling experience. she noted for the record.

“If you weren’t in show business, what would you be doing,” Larry probed further.

Without skipping-a-beat, she laughed.

“I am show business."
“So, I wouldn’t be here," she chirped up in all sincerity.

The “Just Dance” album - which was released in 2008 - was a ureka! moment in which her act, persona, and stage image all came together.

Lady Gaga hasn’t “looked back” since.

Although fans will be disappointed, the musical wonder will not be releasing a new album ‘til after Christmas.

“I need more time to give fans what they deserve.”

In the meantime, Lady Gaga intends to perform live and travel the world.

The Lady is spreading her wings!

God speed!

Footnote

Lady Gaga earned a special place on my Best & Worst-Dressed List!

http://www.zimbio.com/The+New+York+Times/articles/ZBHIpGth-6S/Julian+Ayrs+2nd+Annual+Worst+Best+Dressed




Tuesday, August 25, 2009

U.S. Dollar...white powder dividends! Greenback up to snuff...


The buck stopped here!



Imagine that!

Along with thousands of other Americans around the country - and especially in that neck of the woods otherwise-known as Detroit (motor city!) - you imagined that the mere presence of a greenback or two in that sweaty little palm in the throes of this wide-reaching recession was capable of rustling up a buzz or two.

Wrong!

According to a study at the University of Massachusetts (headed up by a respected Professor by the name of Yuegang Zuo) about ninety percent of the paper money passing through the innocent hands of American taxpayers around the country contains small traces of an expensive white powder identified as cocaine.

Out of 234 bank notes examined in 17 U.S. cities - researchers detected the illegal substance known as "snow" - drifting on the face of one former president or another.

Salt Lake City's paper moolah was relatively free of the potent drug usually snorted up through the nostrils by-way of a rolled-up paper bill.

On account of those religious zealots, the Mormons, I suppose!

The highest levels of the pricey high were detected in Baltimore, Boston, and Detroit.

Heh dudes, don't bogart that buck, eh?



http://www.julianayrs.com

Saturday, August 9, 2008

National Enquirer...Tabloids check facts. DiCaprio & Stone incident proved it to me!





Since the fifties, whenever the names of Tabloid newspapers pop up in a conversation, they conjure up wild images of tales about babies born with three heads, nine-legged aliens that have landed from outer space, whatever!

In recent years - the fodder has tended to be a little tamer - with a big thrust on sex scandals, drug abuse, and corruption in high places.

Like me, you probably expect that when you come across a photo alleging two Hollywood Stars are dating, that the two individuals have never even met; instead, were thrust together in a scandalous clinch by virtue of the skillful hand of a photoshop artist.

Nonetheless - many shoppers at the local supermarket are inclined to give the weeklies a surrepticious glance - before they head out the door with their groceries.

Alhough titillated, many are too embarrassed to be caught dead actually purchasing a dog-eared copy.

For the most part - many Americans are under the distinct impression that - The National Enquirer, The Examiner, and The Star - print up juicy tidbits of salicious gossip without even verifying the facts.

Well, I can attest to the fact that such an allegation would not be true.

A few years ago - I answered an ad in the local newspaper - that was canvassing for talented writers for a "popular" weekly magazine.

When I scheduled the interview, though, I was surprised when I found myself face-to-face with the Editor-in-Chief for one of the top sleaze-bag tabloid newsies in the country.

As one of my favorite characters on "In Living Color" would say,

"I'm not one to gossip, but - "

Although I'm not the type of individual to sort-through dirty laundry, or hang outside sleazy Motels in search of incriminating evidence, I thought - what the heck - I'll give it a shot.

There was one hitch, though.

The Editor requested that I come up with ten story "ideas" before they would sign me on as a regular feature writer.

So, I trundled off in search of a handful of leads from friends and business associates in the industry. God, it was like trying to pull teeth!

One day, I crossed paths with an old friend, and mentioned my dilemma.

"If you hear anything, give me a call."

As it turned out, my gal pal was dating a bartender at a trendy watering hole in Santa Monica. And - her lover noted in passing - that heart-throb Leonardo DiCaprio and Director Oliver Stone were spied huddling in the back room one night snorting cocaine!

When I called up the editor to pass on the tidbit, he demanded the name of the bartender and the exact location of the nightclub.

I put out a call to my friend with a request for the specifics.

At this point, she panicked. Her friend (who happened to be a woman) was antsy about stepping forward. After all, she was a Christian. Also, she was worried about losing her job.

"Well, see if you can get her to change her mind," I urged. "The newspaper will pay well for the tip."

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, the tabloid proceeded to contact the Bar behind my back in a scurrilous effort to secure the facts on their own.

Talk about a knife in the back!

Because I let it slip the bartender was a woman - and there was only one female barkeep employed at the establishment - they were able to quickly zero in on her identity.

Then, staff writers proceeded to pester her at work and later at home!

The poor gal freaked out.

Bottom line?

The newspaper wouldn't print the item on DiCaprio and Stone since none of the eyewitnesses were willing to step forward and confirm the facts.

I was surprised as he**.

But, the whole bizarre scenario was reassuring, too.

Until then, I was under the distinct impression the tabloids printed any old piece of gossip unchecked.

Not true!

In light of this, I expect you'll linger a little longer in front of those screaming headlines at the check-out counter, eh?