Oscars...Starlets & Studs stumble on fashion circuit @ Kodak Theatre! Swank surprisingly feminine!

Horizontal line at flubber waist a no-no

(Virginia Madsen)

Quite a few of the fair sex alighted from sleek black limos purring at the curb on Hollywood Boulevard last night in dazzling cocktail frocks fashioned in blood-red, as their macho counterparts abandoned the peacock "look" in favor of chic black finely-cut silhouettes, and a daring fashionista-or-two took a gamble on stylish adventures which more-often-than-not came apart at the seams when the prying eyes of the paparazzi zeroed in.

In sum, the little Gold Statuette has - for the most part - taken a back seat to the fashion circuit as a rule, as savvy social-climbing starlets (and enterprising studs on their bejewelled pearly-white arms) turn out to best one-another in outfits that amount to a handful of misguided silken threads tossed over bodacious - sometimes bimbo-inspired - half-naked bods.

A chic understated look is preferable to moi, but some - like hefty Queen Latifa, for example - have tossed caution (and their considerable weight) to the wind with disastrous results.

Uh-huh!

The God-awful trend - riddled with one glaring faux pas after another - persisted on the red carpet at the 83rd Annual Oscar Award at the Kodak Theatre last evening.

Although one of the beaming hosts (Anne Hathaway) snapped up nods of approval for her pretty frothy frock - over-sized mamma's like Virginia Madsen - caused style icons to twitter on the sidelines:

"Gosh, if only the fat lady would sing! This fashion fiasco could call it a night!"

A gaggle of par-tay stalwarts sashayed down the gauntlet in get-ups - Michelle Williams and Reese Witherspoon, for starters - that flip-flopped.

Nicole Kidman was beaded, padded, and fit to be tried - by the fashion police - by golly!

Meanwhile, Helena Bonham Carter was strapping - and strapless - with scraggly "do" crowning the unsightly mixed-up mash.

On-the-other-hand, Marissa Tomei's virginal spring special was overly-designed with matronly fashion flourishes, that bogged her youthfulness down.

Gwyneth Paltrow was a sexy bombshell, alright - which left a nasty aftertaste, though - metallic as hell.

And - sigh - Melissa Leo was obviously sleep-walking in her poorly-fitting gown which appeared to be fashioned out of a bath-room curtain or two.

Annette Bening's slinky cocktail nightmare was inside-out with unsightly seams showing.
Ouch!

Halle Berry - known as "scary Berry" in divorce circles - was sparkly, however.

The town was a-buz in respect to sultry Mila Kunis, who tripped-the-light-fantastic in a showy-gown splashed up with nubile flesh, which hinted at naivety.

Hailee Steinfeld - in Royal Blue (wrinkled) fabric - was too darn matronly (if 'ya ask me!).

As to the dudes, well, James Franco couldn't hold a candle to Marilyn (or any dummy female impersonator stupid enough to try to capture her dazzling star persona on-stage-or-off).

Billy Crystal?

If the lapels on that tux were any wider, he'd take flight when the next gust of wind fluttered in, unexpectedly.

Nope not even the zesty vigor (or sexy appeal) of the great white hope - James Franco - was capable of  boosting up the boot-straps of a posse of fops, fellas!

For instance, Russell Brand's purply-hued suit - teamed with a clashing striped shirt and lifeless black tie - screamed out the obvious:

"Big bucks can't buy 'ya taste (or love, for that matter, either)."

If Billy Crystal's lapels were any wider, he would have blown away in the stratosphere next big gust of wind!

Christian Bale (winner of best supporting actor for The Fighter) was in the right corner when he elected to sport a chic black designer suit and dark tie.

But, poor grooming - and bold-faced efforts to attain a wild he-man persona - nixed the otherwise fashionably-attired effort.

Colin Firth, Zachary Levi, Justin Timberlake, Mark Buffalo, andGeoffrey Rush sported sporting black or dark grey tuxedos from popular designers such as Tom Ford or Gucci.
No wonder folks mentioned above either ended up on my Best or Worst Dressed list for 2010.

Need a reminder about "Who's Who" on the fashion victim list?

Post:  01/01/2011

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2011/01/julian-ayrs-ten-worst-dressed-best.html

Post: 12/29/2010

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/12/julian-ayrs-3rd-annual-worst-dressed.html

By the way, there were quite a few humorous moments during the CBS Broadcast, too.

Off-the-cuff humor - on the heels of live! stage disasters - included Hathaway's quick ad-lib about "folks needing a drink at home" - after she tripped over a best-actress-winner intro.

Meanwhile, critics compared James Franco's low-key style to that of a laid-back monologue for flicks like drug-themed comedies such as "Pineapple Express".

Did he ever actually say the word - "Dude" on air?

At times, Anne and James also poked fun at each other and the Network for their ratings-inspired folly.

"Anne, I must say you look so beautiful and so hip," Franco gushed at one point on stage.

"Thank you, James," Hathaway giggled,

"You look very appealing to a younger demographic, as well."

I expect that due to the overall dismal reaction to the Oscar extravaganza (yawn!) last night, that hosting duties will return to the predictable old farts next year.

See 'ya there!



Hillary Swank surprisingly feminine

(instead of so butch!)

http://www.thetattler.biz

Oscar Night America...@ California Film Institute! February 27th!

Hosts James Franco & Anne Hathaway



Many of the locals in San Francisco are plunking down $55.00 to celebrate all the glitz and glamour that the 83rd Annual Academy Award celebration has to offer on February 27th at Oscar Night America celebrations.

The Bay Area Oscar Theatre soirees are sanctioned by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences and expected to sell out!

Each guest will receive an Official Academy Awards program similar to the ones give out at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood just beyond the frenetic Red Carpet festivities on the star-studded strip.

In addition to the handful of HD state-of-the-art telecasts in San Rafael Theatres, there will be a silent auction with some pretty spectacular raffle items ready to be scooped up for a song.

*2 tickets to a World Series Champion San Francisco Giants baseball game
*2 tickets to the dazzling MTV Movie Awards & the after-party

The Oscar Night extravaganza includes scrumptious finger food (appetizers), a Gourmet Box Dinner, coffee beverages, and mouth-watering desserts.

The much-anticipated event benefits CFI Education and Outreach programs!

Tickets

www.cafilm.org

San Rafael Box Office
1118 Fourth Street
San Rafael

See 'ya there!

http://www.thetattler.biz



Black Swan nominated flick!

Anne Hathaway...cast as Catwoman! Meow!

 

Just goes to show 'ya - when you rustle up a high-profile in the biz almost overnight (in addition to turning in a couple of stellar screen characterizations in big box-office features along the way) - that the world is your oyster.

This especially appears to be true for the flavor of the month - talented actress and red-carpet head-turner - Anne Hathaway!

Shortly after starring opposite sexy Jake Gyllenhaal in "Love & Other Drugs", Ms. Hathaway has been handed the plum pussy role of "Catwoman" on a silver platter with a nod from celebrated director Christopher Nolan.

According to handlers, Hathaway is slated to lens the much-anticipated franchise sequel - "The Dark Knight Rises" - in the very near future.

Meow!

Now, Ms. Hathaway follows in a long line of distinguished oft-remembered screen Goddesses - who slipped into the feline costume with ease- in a myriad of TV & Film projects of yesteryear.

Of course, I am referring to luminaries such as Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Lee Meriweather and - who could forget? - oh-so-organic Eartha Kitt!

I expect that Hathaway will scratch up a storm - or at a minimum pull off a delicious tease - given the chance.

Later!

http://www.thetattler.biz/

Oscars...red carpet coverage tastier than the main entree!

Last week, industry insiders were speculating that red carpet arrivals would be relatively low-key this year -and inclined to tone down the glitz and the glamour - because of the troubled economy.

The theory?

Since common folks around the country have been struggling to make ends meet, many thought it might be prudent for Hollywwood's elite to refrain from traipsing down the red carpet in a vulgar display of jewels and expensive couture gowns, while the rest of the country was hurting.

But, when the carpet was rolled out at the Kodak, and sleek limos purred up to the curb, it was obvious the celebration would be big and splashy.

At this juncture, the experts did an about-face.

"This is what people want to see. The glitz and glamour of Hollywood," chirped Randolph Duke, a fashionista reporting from the wings.

Personally, I found the red carpet coverage more entertaining than the main event.

Stars fluttered in front of the camera for a second or two, offered up a few insightful comments, then moved on.

The Oscar show needed more of that!

The overly-long boring telecast amounted to nothing but talk! talk! talk!

In spite of the fact producers tried to keep the names of presenters and performers under wraps, one anonymous insider revealed that actor - Robert Pattinson - would be doing the honors.

The Vampire heart-throb laughed when it was pointed out that he was the only one who got special advance warning.

"I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing," he chuckled in a sexy accent.

Mickey Rourke, who many were pulling for to win the little gold statutette (Wrestler), had a poignant moment or two.

"I'm happy to be invited back to the dance."

After the interviewer threw some comments his way about his wardrobe choices (last night he sauntered down the the carpet in a white dinner jacket with matching dress slacks and a flourish of black underneath) he insightfully noted that Rourke tended to do things his own way.

Quick on the uptake, Rourke quipped:

"You pay a price when you do things your way."

Valentino - the celebrated fashion designer who has dressed the great beauties of the world (in fact, over the years many Oscar-winners have dashed up to the podium in one of his delicious couture pieces which flatter the female form) - was also trotted out.

He is retired now, and looks a bit mumified, but still has irons in the fire.

As usual, there were many fashion disasters.

On a morning radio show, one woman joked that Myley Cyrus appeared to be wearing a tacky chandelier.

What grated on my nerves was that high-pitched squeaky speaking voice of hers.

She should be playing cartoon characters on Saturday morning kid shows.

Robert Downey Junior was calm and in control as his pretty wife stood by his side.

"Your wife produced your next movie, Sherlock Holmes," noted the entertainment host.

"How was that?"

"It has its fine points," he smirked.

Anne Hathaway looked stunning in an elegant gown which accented her lithe pretty figure.

"Are you wearing anything that is yours," the interviewer probed.

"I can't tell you," she giggled.

I didnt' see any VPL (Visible Panty Line) so I have to wonder if she ran the gauntlet sans panties.

Viola Davis, who played opposite Meryl Streep in "Doubt", was asked how it was working with the seasoned pro.

"I had to take stress tabs," she laughed.

She seemed to double-think that comment for a moment, then hastily added - "homeopathic" - as she spoke directly into the camera.

Queen Latifa was a fashion disaster!

She struck me as ceremonial barge floating down the carpet.

Mr. Duke was a tad critical of Melissa Tomei's - um - gown.

"It looks like a bunch of serviettes tacked on here and there," he snidely remarked.

"A napkin should be in your lap at the dinner table," he noted with an acid tongue.

Ouch!

There was odd moments, too.

When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (who looked stunning) stopped to chat with George Pedacio from ABC TV, Pitt gave the entertainment reporter strange furtive looks.

Surely, in view of the fact Brad is an actor, he is keenly aware that a thought transmits openly across the face.

In this instant case, I got the impression the studly star thought George was a silly goose!

Or, just maybe, George gazed too deeply into Pitt's baby blue eyes, and it was a turn off for the Oscar-nominated star?

By the way, did anyone see Jerry Lewis on the red carpet?

I understand that he was keeping a low profile (gee, I wonder why).

After he received the Jean Hersholt Award, he slunk back stage and wouldn't talk to reporters.

After his little stunt last night - not addressing the big "issue" that has been in the news of late - I am inclined to take the position that Mr. Lewis did not deserve the award.

Maybe that's why his appearance on stage was so awkward when he accepted the trinket.

Mr. Lewis was probably painfully aware of that!

Albert Schweitzer said it best:

"Humanitarianism consists in never sacrificing a human being to a purpose."

http://www.julianayrs.com