One day I flung open the mail box and a slick high-quality brochure dropped into my open hand.
Upon close inspection, I determined that it was an invitation to try out a local gym in Beverly Hills.
On the surface, the offer tucked inside appeared to be quite a generous one.
At first glance, I gathered that the Sports Club (with locations in major cities around the U.S.) was urging me to take advantage of 1 free month at the gym.
Most work-out joints - like Gold's Gym & 24-hour fitness - tend to hand-out 7-day try-outs max.
I suppose I should have been suspicious when I realized later that because the envelope wasn't posted until approximately the 11th of February, I would only have the opportunity to take the club up on their offer for the remainder of the month (17 days).
Was the failure to pop the invite in the mail 'til the middle of the month deliberate or just an oversight?
Next to having a root canal, signing up for a "gym membership" tends to be high on my list of aggravations to avoid, if possible.
The reason is quite simple.
Once you're in the door - even before you have savored a free stint at the facility - high-pressure salesmen(sharks) will pester potential "suckers" until they cave in (or run straight-away to the nearest exit).
Sure enough, that's what went down, when I strode in the door and met up with a company rep by the name of Ashton.
After taking me on a tour of the luxurious upscale facility, he gestured for me to plunk myself down and discuss the options (there were three to choose from).
Since I have dealt with many car salesmen over the years, I dug my heels in, and let him rattle off his speel.
Once the delivery was over, I noted that I was an adult (who didn't rush into things), and that I would prefer to try out the facility (per the offer) and reflect on whether to join or not.
At this juncture, Ashford informed me that I couldn't have the free month without buying a membership first.
Huh?
With a hand gesture, and a bit of misspeak, he stabbed a finger at one line in the middle of the page of the invitation.
"With an active membership. It says right here," he swiftly noted in a stern authoratative voice.
At this point, I was taken aback to learn that in addition to the month-to-month membership fees, each member was required to pay dues every four weeks as well.
Gosh, you'd think I was purchasing a Condo, for heaven's sake.
Over the past twenty years or so, I have joined a myriad of gyms - and not once - have I encountered this kind of monthly/dues fee structure.
Later, when I scrutinized the invite up close with my reading glasses firmly affixed to my nose, I also discovered that "Ashford" misrepresented the disclaimer for the offer which amounted to a deceptive business practice.
Although he asserted the phrase stated "with an active membership" - in truth - it actually read something else entirely different.
"Call the club today to arrange for a membership," it read in much smaller print.
There was no disclosure (contrary to what Ashford said) that a waiver of the "initiation fee" required that monthly dues (under one of the three plans) be purchased up-front first to receive the "special" offer.
Notwithstanding, who the heck wants to pay an initiation fee AND monthly dues each month?
What a crock!
When I attempted to discreetly bow out, Ashford was unrelenting.
"Okay. I'll let you have one free week to try out the Sports Club."
So, I took him up on it.
Even though his offer was pretty straightforward, he still tried to screw me out of a day.
For example, when I strode in for the pep talk and to tour the club, it was February 13th.
After he presented me with a temporary membership card, I noticed later in the locker room, that he inserted February 19th as the expiry date.
I thought that 13 and 7 totalled 20.
Doesn't it?
The first day I checked in tot he Sports Club to take oadvantage of the free pass, the counter person noticed the error right away.
We both shook our heads!
Although it is doubtful I'll join the club for the foregoing reasons - and because it is just too pricey in my estimation - I have to admit that the Sports Club is the finest gym I have run across in the Los Angeles area to date.
The decor was luxurious and aesthetically pleasing to the eye, for starters.
All the equipment was state of the art, kept up, and easy to use.
Also, the club boasts a spacious sundeck, junior Olympic swimming pool, basketball courts, laundry service, and tastefully-decorated locker rooms.
After working out each day, I was inclined to relax in the luxurious steam room, too.
In addition to the work out (weight) rooms, there was a yoga center and a massage parlour situated in a subdued atmosphere out-of-the-way off the main thoroughfare.
Forget about hauling a gym bag or a lock or deodorant to the Sports club.
The mensroom has an ample supply of razors, hair gel, body soap (and free towel service).
Select a locker that is available, plunk your clothes inside, then create your own password which releases the lock when you check out.
No tacky locks to fiddle with or coins to pop in.
There is also an entertainment center where guests (on the higher-end pay plan) can watch TV, snack on tasty treats, you name it.
While you're in the club, send out your day's wardrobe for cleaning and pressing, too.
Want to entertain friends for dinner?
Just make a reservation at Oliver's restaurant which fronts on Wilshire Blvd in tony Beverly Hills (in the golden triangle) a hop-and-a-skip away.
Maybe I'll reconsider if I win the lottery or a rich uncle dies!
Tony Beverly Hills!
