To quote a line from a Simon and Garfunkle tune:
"Something tells me it is all happening at the Zoo."
Day before last, anyway, there was a lot of star power down at the Los Angeles Zoo to support protestors who allege the elephants in captivity there have been subject to cruel treatment.
The rag-tag posse of elephant protectors also argue that man-made wild-life preserves are potentially harmful to the overall well-being of the animal - and thus - are opposed to the elaborate one under construction at the Los Angeles County Zoo.
Cher (in Jackie-O-style shades shielding half her face), Bob Barker (who mugged for cameras), and Lily Tomlin (who was so agitated she interrupted the formal proceedings much to the chagrin of zoo supporters) attended what has been described as a raucous three-hour meeting meant to determine whether there was any validity to the claims.
Pop Icon Cher lamented to the press - and anyone within earshot who would listen - that the L.A. Zoo consistently concealed the use of electric shock and bullhooks on the animals, although officials at the facility vehemently denied the accusations.
Other opponents - like Bob Barker - were quick to point out that the elephants should be moved to huge sanctuaries that mirror the natural habitat of a wild preserve.
No matter how spacious or well-thought-out, wild life enthusiasts argue that the zoo environs are not sufficient for a species that roams miles daily in the wilds of the forest in social herds.
Mr. Barker felt so strongly about the issue that he offered to pledge 1.5 million dollars for the upkeep of "Billy" - an elephant who is the subject of the ongoing controversy - if he's moved to an appropriate santuary.
Some, were more vehement in their disapproval of the Zoo's policy.
Actor Robert Culp, for instance, noted that as a taxpayer he was outraged at funds going to shameless political boondoggies.
But, at the end of the day - animal handlers, management at the Los Angeles County Zoo, and City Council members - dug their heels in and said "no way".
"The pachyderm exhibit stays."
The decision delighted caged-animal supporters who jumped up and cheered exuberantly in their green t-shirts emblazoned with slogans that shouted out "Save Pachyderm Forest".
"No disrespect - I love you, Cher - but if you want to know about a concert, talk to Cher. If you want to know about how to spin a wheel, talk to Bob Barker. Let's talk to professionals at the zoo who care for the animals , if you want to know about the zoo. Billy has never seen electric shock. He's basically been in a sanctuary in the middle of the city."
Moved to speak at this juncture, funny-lady Lily Tomlin jumped up and charged towards the podium , defying Council's strict orders of procedure.
"Mr. Garcetti, I have to speak," she cried out angrily.
Opponents tried to hush Tomlin.
"No! No!"
Garcetti had the final word as a uniformed guard approached the entertainer to ensure each speaker was heard in proper turn.
"Ms. Tomlin, we have to go in order. We will return to the other side."
For Tomlin, Cher, Barker, and Culp, the proceeding went downhill from there.
Councilman Tony Cardenas who prompted the reexamination of the zoo exhibit under construction - and slated to open around 2010 - put it succinctly when he noted his take on the matter after the vote was in.
"Today, the council sent a frightening message to the public that, even in light of new facts (i.e., research that supported the supposition that elephants don't do well in zoos) politics trumps the truth."
Tusk! Tusk!
