Prince William...naked manhood gets nod! Prefer un-cut version?

A couple of days ago, I was cruising the net when I spied a link screaming about risque nude shots of the "Royal" phallus.

Apparently, due to an overzealous photographer, Will's willy was caught on film - in all its delicious bang-on glory - when the Princely stud was taking an innocent whiz out-of-doors.

Like thousands of other frenzied bloodhounds online, I scrambled to get a glimpse of the future King's manhood.

But, my hopes were quickly dashed.

Every link I excitedly pounced on didn't pan out.

For example, video clips that signaled the way, faded to black when I hit the play button.

On at least two occasions, the computer screen simply went kaput when I clicked on a link.

The scrumptious shots were either a complete fallacy - or - the Royals simply got to the naughty snaps first and snatched 'em up from public view.

Or, so I thought.

Sources informed me last night that the nude stills of the Prince's "Johnson" are available on pay-per-view web sites.

That's right, if you're prepared to cough up a few coins of the realm, you'll be able to get up-close and personal with the Royal Jewels.

One spy gushed that the handsome young stud's pen** is graced with a large mushroom head.

Another, uttered in astonishment, that the handsome bachelor was circumcised!

Apparently, Lady Di spared the lads the unkindest cut of all, when the boys were babes in arms.

However, after the Princess of Wales passed away, William allegedly succumbed to the knife.

The heart-throb underwent a delicate operation to snip the outer skin from his - um - blue blood member.

At the urging of the Queen, I expect.

No, silly.

Elizabeth the 2nd!

Since he was a teen at the time of the ritual (I say, ordeal!) I can only utter up one insightful comment.

Ouch!

I trust that after the Doc performed the nasty deed, young William avoided young ladies (or dudes) with buck teeth - or braces on 'em - at least!

I wonder, is it easier slipping on a condom now?

David Beckham...disc jockeys in awe of crotch in underwear ads!

I felt like I was in some backwater town when I was cruising along Paradise Road and by chance flipped on a local radio station.

A couple of talkative disc jockeys were chatting each other up over David Beckham's scintillating billboard ads sprouting up around the Nation.

I posted an item on that months ago. Old news, isn't it? Gee, news travels at a snail's pace in Sin City, I guess.

One disc spinner noted that the risque blurbs of Becks in tight undies caused quite a commotion in San Francisco. And - I got the distinct impression that he was afraid that the mere mention of the gay mecca by the bay - might turn his sexual persuasion the other way. Or, at least make his own preference suspect.

"That underwear thing is - uh - big up there," he noted with a suspiciously fake masculine tone to his voice.

"Is it a Calvin Klein ad," the other host queried.

Duh!

Well, it was pretty obvious the other guy was hetero, all the way.

Any self-respecting gay man would know that the splashy sexy ads are for Menswear Designer, Emporio Armani.

"The thing about this underwear - um - is that it makes your business look big."

Ah, this is the one occasion I regretted there was no visual image to match up with the dialogue. Did he actually utter that comment with a - er - straight face?

Business? Are they in the dark ages in Vegas?

Heh dudes, it's okay to say package, Johnson, crotch - whatever.

In fact, no one in the range of your air waves is going to cringe, I expect. After all, this is the land of the scantily-clad bodacious babe and "thunder" from down under!

Well, maybe a bit of locker-room chat will give a handful of horny listeners a swelled - um - head. Don't know about you dudes, but suggestive words can be a naughty thrill to some if they're emoted just right.

"And, he looks humongous," the jock continued.

Ah, the dude has obviously been taking a serious gander at those shots, eh?

I am surprised they didn't wonder aloud if Becks was uncircumcised - the soccer stud being a Brit - and all.

Maybe, the Armani folks will bring out the uncut version at a later date, do 'ya think?

"Well, he's no Mario Lopez for sure," the observant (!) dude chuckled before moving on to the next tidbit of gossip.

Mario who?

The long and short of it? Obviously, Becks gets a kick out of the titillation and thrills.

Check out the impromptu snap below taken recently on a downtown Hotel balcony.

Wonder who's on the end of his scope?

I'm betting it's not Posh, that's for sure!