Every day you learn something new!
This morning, a friend of mine needed a jump-start after leaving his parking lights on all night, and running his battery down.
Sounds a lot like his personal life!
After dragging out the cables, and lifting up the hood so it could be seen in plain view by motorists driving by, he innocently batted his eyes as he prayed inside that a good Samaritan would careen to a halt and lend a helping hand.
"Do you always depend on the kindness of strangers," I quizzed him jokingly.
"That's how I ended up tying the knot with most of my lovers!"
Yeah, I'm familiar with all the boy-toys he's hauled into the sack.
The lusty love affairs usually started off with a bang, then whimpered away a few weeks later in the dark good night!
Uh-huh.
I'm cynical when it comes to matters of the heart.
But, back to the WeHo Lothario.
After a scant few minutes, a pretty young woman (a smattering of 'em feel safe among gays) sashayed down the quiet side street with her adorable Chihuahua in tow.
When she laid her soft brown eyes on the sorry son-of-a-gun, she was quick to enter the fray.
"Everything okay?" she softly purred.
So, he started up with his tawdry tale.
The generous gal offered to jump - er - give him a boost.
So, he was in like Flynn!
Imagine that, the down-to-earth sweetie was tooling around town in a top-of-the-line spanking new 2009 Mercedes Benz.
Now, his experiences with all the old junk piles he cruised around the neighborhood over the years (that he actually called cars), would come in handy.
For starters, the good Samaritan couldn't fathom how to open the hood of the spiffy roadster!
But, fate was not with my brewskie buddy, after he popped the latch.
After scanning the engine for the location of the battery for a nano second or two, he threw up his hands in disgust.
Nada.
"I'll call the dealership and ask where the it's located," she smiled sweetly.
But, shortly after a snippet of conversation went down between her and the salesman at the lot, her mood noticeably shifted.
"Something is up. And, it doesn't sound kosher," my intuitive pal was inclined to surmise.
"A no-go?" he overheard her mutter under her breath.
As it turns out, a Mercedes - in particular, her jazzy model - does not have the capacity to jump-start another ailing auto down on its luck by the side of the road.
Nope, her Mercedes is not the - "little engine that could" - by any stretch of the imagination.
So, what is the moral of the story?
Always flag down a robust all-American car - preferably made by Ford - to ensure you get the jump-start you need when your battery needs charging up.
In closing?
As Peter Falk would say:
"Just one more thing".
Did you know when a number of school children were recently showed a peace sign in class, a large percentage of the students thought it was the logo for Mercedes Benz?
The "Status Generation".
That's what I call 'em.
