West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval...the wild 'n kinky party of the year!

In this neck of the woods, local thrift shops are packin' in excited masqueraders, in search of the perfect accessories for their titillating costumes, for West Hollywood's much-anticipated annual Halloween Carnaval party extravaganza, October 31st. (2008 Gay Edition)

Of course, the annual event is a show-stopper in the Los Angeles lower mainland.

The main street in "Boys Town" will be shut down to traffic to accommodate the two or three hundred-thousand costumers expected to hit the ghoulish trail.

According to MTV and E Entertainment, on the spirited occasion - the little city that could - throws the wildest bash of the year on the hippest square mile on the planet.

There will be three stages featuring live entertainment - enough to rock anyone's world - including the much celebrated costume contest stage, where starry-eyed hopefuls can strut their stuff before the teaming masses!

A number of the clubs will be featuring parties.

This year, Chi Chi La Rue's wild outrageous soiree at HERE LOUNGE is sure to be packed to the cobwebbed rafters and rife with studly boys and a gaggle of ubiquitous gay celebrities toasting cocktail glasses and dancing the spooky night away to the wee hours of dawn with carefree abandon.

Chelsea Handley - star of "Chelsea Lately" on "E" - will be ceremoniously crowned the "Queen of the Carnaval" along with her assistant Chuy ("King of the Carnaval") at the Coronation of the Queen *& King which begins at 9 p.m. on the "Bat Stage."

The honorary title of "Queen" and "King" is a highlight at the Carnaval, with the coronation taking place in front of more than 250,000 anticipated revelers this year.

Costume Contest
The quest for the most creative, outrageous and original Halloween costumes in Southern California will take place on Halloween night—right on Santa Monica Boulevard—during the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval on Friday beginning at 6 p.m.

Unlike in previous years, there will be no pre-qualifying contests in local bars the week before Halloween. Instead, anyone in costume on Santa Monica Boulevard on Halloween night will be a potential finalist for the Costume Contest.

A team of "secret" Halloween judges will be walking up and down Santa Monica Boulevard beginning at 6 p.m. and handing out wristbands that will qualify 20 contestants for the Costume Contest finals at 10 p.m. that evening on the "Bat Stage" located on the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and San Vicente Boulevard.



So, if you want to get noticed, dress to impress.

Costume Contest finalists will be vying for the $1000 Grand Prize; $500 Second Place Prize and $250 Third Place Prize.

So, get crackin' on that costume, eh?

For spectators, the perennial favs will be out in full garb; the West Hollywood Cheerleaders, for example, in their wild bouffant hairdos, careening roller-skates, and eye-catching red & white outfits (with tight-fitting sweaters stretched to the max so that over-size boobs can bob gloriously in the fray).

Any celebrity in the news will be fair game, of course!

I expect, there will be wicked, naughty, or just plain hilarious get-ups poking fun at Paris Hilton, Sarah Palin (no effigies please or Jeffrey Prang will getcha), John McCain, O.J. Simpson, you name it.

One year, I suited up as a cowboy. Ho hum!

Studly, yes. Exciting, no.

If I heard one more "Howdy partner" that night - I thought I would scream bloody-murder - or commit it!

The chaps chaffed, too.

Ouch!

Probably one of the most thrilling, sexiest costumes I ever donned, was hatched at the last minute.

Yeah, one dismal year I was going to beg off from the outdoor festivities to catch the show ringside at home (old age was creepin' in, I guess) - but, last minute - I snapped out of the deep funk and sprang into action.

With despair, I gazed into my sorry closet.

Nada.

But then, what did I spy?

Whoa, nellie!

A pair of boots, a felt fedora, and a slightly-wrinkled trenchcoat, beckoned.

Presto!

I tossed in a jockstrap and came up with a real party-pleaser/

A "Flasher".

Boy, in that impromptu get-up, I encountered the zaniest wildest gang of revellers in my entire Halloween-ie life!

No ***!

As I elbowed my way through the crowded clubs, bar-hoppers were prone to surreptitiously slip their bejwelled or hairy ice-cold hands under my topcoat to cop a feel, non-stop!!!

Or, in a sort-of "truth or dare" moment, offered me enticing beads if I would flash 'em right out there on the street!

Not only did I end up with a whopping set of jewels that year, but I nearly ended up with pneumonia, next day!

For years - I've been promising myself I'd train real hard and sculpt my physique to perfection weeks before the big event - so I could confidently strut down the street in a black speedo with glorious outstretched Angel wings to reveal a fabulous six-pack along with humungous pecs!

Well, guess I'll have to settle for "couch potato" this year!

Who knows? Maybe I'll meet up with the condiment of my dreams!

Heh, it's not as bad as one year.

On that occasion, I woke up next morning with a rabbit next to me in bed, and a lot of hair in my mouth!

Yeah, too many Zombies, go figure!

Candis Cayne...delights partygoers at Abbey Fundraiser. Universal Studios donates truckload of toys!

I planned to head home and hit the sack, but when I cruised by the Abbey last night and spied the beautiful tree out front festively decorated for the club's - "Christmas in September" - fundraiser, it perked me up.

So, I dashed home - donned a torso-fitting "T" shirt, splashed on a dash of pricey cologne - and headed out to CVS to pick up a toy.

As I pointed out in a post a couple of days ago, the Abbey tosses the splashy soiree each year to raise toys for the Children's Hospital.

This year, the event was headlined by talented Candis Cayne.

Out front, the partygoers were wowed by pristine banks of snow that beckoned at the gate, which the organizers generously layered on the path into the trendy watering hole on Robertson.

Inside, a bevy of pretty babes - men, too - were having their photos taken on the lap of a darkly handsome Santa built like a brick - um - you get the idea.

His chiseled abs were so rock hard - that they persisted with their "cut" look - even as he sat back in the comfy high-back chair surrounded by toys collected at the door.

My own stomach muscles tend to sink into a bowl of lively jelly when I flop down into an easy chair.

The cute doorman handed me a coupon as I turned in my gift, so I sauntered over to the bustling bar - manned by adept muscled barkeeps - to snatch up an exotic cocktail provided by management, gratis.

Don't know what mysterious ingredients were swimming inside the elegant cocktail glass - but, in moments - I was elevated to a warm and fuzzy mood!

Shortly after I alighted at a perch up-close near all the action, an announcement rattled the air.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Please welcome, Candis Cayne."

A spotlight fell on the front entrance - and there draped against the frame of the well-crafted door - stood the glamorous Ms. Cayne dressed to-the-nines in a dazzling full-length fire-engine red frock.

A cut-away section on the right side from mid-thigh to the floor - exposed long pretty glams - and corset flourishes at the waistline drew attention to her svelte well-toned figure.

When she broke into - "Santa Baby" - I laughed.

Years ago, when I appeared on Tracey Ullman's X-Mas show, the comedian sang that little number in a skit for the popular show.

But, it paled next to Candis's sexually-charged rendition which wowed the crowd from the get-go.

Those of you who have patronized the bar are no doubt familiar with the long pathway that runs from the front door to the nefarious back room.

Ms. Cayne used the full-length of it to kick up her heels, gyrate sensually to the upbeat music, and otherwise captivate the crowd in what amounted to a glittering performance.

There was quite a well-heeled crowd in attendance.

For instance, there were a number of stunning young ladies - all dolled-up in eye-catching designer cocktail dresses - sprinkled here and there about the packed environs.

As the fundraiser kicked into high gear, Chi Chi La Rue made an impressive entrance in a tight little black dress - with hair out to "there" - with an entourage of studly young males in tow.



In fact - Chi Chi's posse of fashionistas added quite a bit of zest to the high-profile eye-candy - already kibitzing at the trendy watering hole.


During a second show on the main stage, Candis carried off a couple of upbeat Barbara Streisand tunes, with all the expertise of a seasoned pro.

Talented, gal!

At this juncture, Ms. Cayne was ecstatic as she made an all-important announcement to the revved up revellers.

Earlier that day - when Universal Studios got wind of the event - they generously donated a whole truckload of toys to the fundraiser.

Steve, the original owner of the Abbey - who nurtured the cafe from a little hole-in-the-wall take-out to the successful in-spot it is today - proudly noted that in the five years the Abbey has been hosting the event, last night's fundraiser was the most successful yet.

Congrats!

I headed home to dreamland at that point.

Now, I am looking for the eye of the dog that bit me, go figure!