Fountain Urinal...bizzare "head" features plumbing not so basic at Nevada border!

Lip Service!

Nature was calling

Uh-huh.

I needed to take a whiz.

I roared into a Shell station and dashed into the men's room to seek relief.

Suddenly, I was confronted with a “head” the likes of which I’ve never encountered in my decades-long life.

Before me stood the oddest toilet fixture with a plaque on is face which read:

The Fountain Urinal

In some respects, it was not unlike a stone fireplace in a country home.

Framing the top and sides of a wide “mouth” (about 5 feet wide and 6 feet high) rustic stones adorned the face.

And - at the bottom lip (?) - the urinal was edged in fancy brickwork in a decorative old-western-style.

The age-old tradition of the man-of-the-house taking a healthy crap on the “throne” in the privacy of his Castle had nothing on this baby.

There sure was a lot of p**ing room for those who with lousy aim and a tendency to slop over onto the rim of a normal toilet seat.

Just betcha kids have a field day in this “John“.

The mischievous ones probably engage in peeing contests, to see who can send their golden yellow streams the farthest (and widest), when their parents are looking the other way.

Who knows!

Needless to say - the "Fountain Urinal" - gets a highly-coveted  Golden Urinal Award for a myriad of obvious novel reasons!

George Michael "Tea Room" fan!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Joe the Plumber...American voters down to "basic plumbing". Who has the best tools of the trade?

All the brouhaha last week about "Joe the Plumber" pretty much said it all.

For the American people, it all gets down to basic plumbing!

As I mulled over the issues, I suddenly recalled an old joke.

This regular "Joe" (no relation to the plumber guy) was on the job one day working around some heavy-duty mechanical equipment when a band of metal snapped off the machine and sliced off his penis.

Well, his fellow workers got him to the hospital faster than you could blink an eye.

Although his life was saved, he lost his much-loved man tool.

While he was recuperating in the hospital, a good buddy stopped in to cheer him up.

"Heh dude, when you're feeling your oats again, I'll take you to a specialist who can implant a fabricated organ that works just like the real thing."

The dude waved him off - and essentially - pooh-poohed the idea.

But, the pal was persistent.

One day - when his friend was out of the hospital and contentedly back at work - an idea hit him like a bolt of lightning.

He'd just take the guy by the hand one day (without revealing their destination) and hoodwink him into meeting with the doctor.

The planned worked.

However, as he sat and twiddled his thumbs in an easy chair in the clinic, he stammered for the words to express how he was feeling about the issue.

"Don't say a thing," the doctor cautioned him.

"I just want you to take a look at something."

At this juncture, the physician pulled open a drawer and revealed a fake eight-inch penis lovingly packed in a plastic wrapper inside.

The dude's eyes lit up.

He was about to say - "yes, let's do it" - when the doc held him back.

"Hold on a sec. Feast your eyes on this."

The doctor opened a second compartment where a ten-inch fake co** beckoned from inside in all its fabulous glory.

"Yes," they guy cried out as he excitedly struggled to get to his feet.

"Hold your horses," the doctor instructed.

"Inspect this here super-duper model."

He then unveiled a twelve-inch man-made male organ.

The worker jumped up ecstatically and shouted out his approval.

"I'll take it. I'll take it. Have you got it in white?"

Beverly Hills Police Department...basic plumbing goes awry!

As I was jogging by the Police Station in Beverly Hills bright and early this morning, I spied an "Emergency Rooter" service vehicle parked out front.

"Rooter" is a plumbing outfit that fixes glitches that arise over basic plumbing problems, drainage inadequacies, and overall sewage complications.

How apropos!

It's pretty much a given that officers in Law Enforcement are not only professional liars - but full of pigsh** - too.

Looks like the crap finally caught up with 'em!